re: Two abortions is enough for me.

I'm sensitive to birth controls too. I managed to protect myself for a year after getting married just because me and my hubby wern't ready yet. Just remember it's alot to take care of a child and if you don't want another right after you give birth, then I suggest looking for options that works for you and your husband. Best of luck!

Quoting humideyes:“ He only wanted what was best for me when this all happened two years ago. He is not the kind of person ... [snip!] ... is different for different people. I know a lot of people in a lot worse situations who have children and are doing just fine.”

you should begin to try when you feel ready. my son was an oops, a pull out baby. we were scared and didnt feel ready when we found out we were expecting. but he is the little love of my life and i would not trade him for anything. you can make it happen, if you want it badly enough. i wish you the best of luck in your decisions and in the future as parents!

You will be just fine. Abortion is a choice and we are all entitled to make ourownchoices! You can have an abortion andgo on tohave healthy kids though it is not something you can ever forget. You will be fine to have a child when you are ready. So many people have kids and don't appreciate them or take care of them. I think making an informed choice when you are ready is the right way to go. Best of Luck!

I figure there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. We've had the wedding, he has a steady job, we're in love, we live in a house, and I know that at least his parents would be very loving and supportive. And we live in Fort Collins, Colorado - one of the best cities in the nation to raise a family. I really couldn't say, myself,but my husband seems to thinkI would be a great mom. In all honesty I think it would be okay to havejust one child within a year or two, and if it turns out to be harder than expected then we will take more serious precautions to prevent a second child until we are ready for multiple children. I know we could provide for one child and it would be an experience, for sure. I don't know of anyone who regrets (at least openly) having a kid, so I see no reason why we would. I know it is challenging but so is life. So is college. So is finding a job. So is dealing with family. So is being happy. So is everything. I don't know of anything rewarding that comes without challenges.

Quoting psikrieg:“ Wow hun you're definitely not alone! I knew the love of my life since junior year in HS, and we were ... [snip!] ... won't be critical and I'll definitely talk to you about it! I'm sure there are a lot of others on here who will, as well.”

Thank you for your encouraging and supportive post! It is refreshingto read about other people in similar situations. I am glad to see that your story has a happy ending and I wish you and your family the best of luck! Also it isinspiring tofind other people who met their spouse at a young age - I got a lot of flack for getting married when I did. You really never know when you're going to meet the right person. For some it happens at 30, for me it happened much earlier. Everyone's love is unique.

I guess I'll be the bitch of the thread, I'm sorry you had a tough choice, but you are a homewrecker and that isn't cool!

you're right .. everyone's Love is unique & can be found at any age ..
but anyways .. I met the Love of my life almost 2 years ago & before anyone wants to make a response about my age [ it's not puppy Love ! it's true Love ! we will get married one day & spend the rest of our lives together, if you think we can't make it we're gunna prove everyone wrong ! we will be that old couple that still look at eachother like we do now ] as I was saying ..
so we got pregnant in the summer time, pull-out with a couple "accidents" .. I was only 16 & was so scared .. at first, I was happy & excited to be a mom .. then reality hit me & we realized .. we didn't even have 5O cents for a loosey ! how the hell could we raise a child ?! & even though edwin was being supportive, I knew he wasn't ready & didn't want to be a father .. he's always been saying "no babies, no babies .. etc"
I told my mom & her first reaction was abortion .. she said she'd pay for it & everything ..
I'll never forget that day .. I went with my mom & my babyboo & to this day I wish I dragged edwin in the room with me so he could see all the pain I went through .. the wait by myself was rediculous .. I couldn't stop crying my eyes out & apologizing to my stomach.
I cried myself to sleep EVERY night after that .. I wanted to kill myself on the due date ..
edwin saw how much pain I went through & he promised me that I would NEVER have to go through anything like that again .. he wouldn't allow it !
time passed & I was on the nuva ring .. works wonders by the way .. I really liked it !
my prescription ran out & I was going to the same clinic for my OB GYN .. I had to switch, it was so depressing there ..
as I was switching I missed a month & was waiting for my period so I can get the ring on time .. but guess what ?
birthday sex *snap* birthday sex *snap*
the double stacked obamas didn't help much either  
oh, when I wasn't on birth control we always used the pull-out method .. & we thought "hey! for old times' sake .. let's use a condom !"
fuckin' NYC condoms ..
although I'm still young, 17 turning 18 in august I see this as a second chance.
now even though we don't have everything, we atleast have jobs now so there's a little bit of hope. I am going to school in the fall full-time to be an RN & going right through the summer so I can give my child hope ..

I know what pain you went through & I hope when the time comes everything works out ! good luck with trying !  

Abortion is very painful- I had one at the age of 15 but had enough common sense to use the proper methods to make SURE i was NEVER put in that situation again!!!!! IMO you are using it as birth control and that is just way wrong!!

Quoting ever joy:“ you're right .. everyone's Love is unique & can be found at any age .. but anyways .. I met the ... [snip!] ... hope .. I know what pain you went through & I hope when the time comes everything works out ! good luck with trying !  ”

Thanks! I felt the same way when the due date came. It would have been born on (or close to) December 27, 2007. Right around Christmas time, and I felt so shitty. I was inconsolable. You clearly have a positive outlook on life - I think that is what makes a great parent. There are ways of making things work out for your kid, even if you don't make a ton of money (though nurses do pretty well). Your story made me smile!   Glad to hear you have a great relationship!

Quoting happy baby's mom:“ Abortion is very painful- I had one at the age of 15 but had enough common sense to use the proper methods ... [snip!] ... to make SURE i was NEVER put in that situation again!!!!! IMO you are using it as birth control and that is just way wrong!!”

Abortion is a last resort - that is and has always been my view. I would never want to go through that agony every month, or every year, or really ever again. So to say I was using it as birth controlis a bit extreme.I don't like to hear people use that expression, because I can'timagine why anyone wouldlet themselves get pregnant over and over again, only to keep getting abortions. I put great effort into avoiding pregnancy. Bothtimes were complete accidents andI have not hadany problems since the second time it happened. But I don't view it as a "problem" any longer. If it happens, it happens and I will live with the consequences.

I sympathize with anyone who has endured this unpleasant experience, though.No one wantsan abortion.

Quoting Loving my girl!! *OHT*:“ I guess I'll be the bitch of the thread, I'm sorry you had a tough choice, but you are a homewrecker and that isn't cool!”

So is Angelina Jolie and everyone seems to think very highly of her.

Seriously, though, the circumstances were pretty bad. It was not a happy marriage and his friends always (to this day) tell me how cruel she was to him. She'd make fun of himin front of them and criticize his family members. She didn't trust him and she talked down tohim all the time. They fought constantly. He couldn't take it any longer and it had nothing to do with me and him. I told him it had better not have anything to do with me if they divorced. And it didn't. It was all her. The marriage was bad from the start - but it was only the second relationship he'd ever been in his whole life so of course he didn't know what to expect from a wife.

Quoting humideyes:“ Abortion is a last resort - that is and has always been my view. I would never want to go through ... [snip!] ... with the consequences. I sympathize with anyone who has endured this unpleasant experience, though.No one wantsan abortion.”

if you didn't want a second abortion you shuold have used REAL birth control!!! pulling out is NOT BC!! That is how I got pregnant the first time. You should have used the pill, IUD, depo, condoms or something to beSURE you would not get pregnant again so you would not NEED another abortion. or kill another child- sorry just myopinion. IT is a very difficult thng to go through -that is hwy I made DAMN sure I wouldn't have to do it again! common sense!!

Quoting humideyes:“ So is Angelina Jolie and everyone seems to think very highly of her. Seriously, though, the circumstances ... [snip!] ... it was only the second relationship he'd ever been in his whole life so of course he didn't know what to expect from a wife.”

1. I don't think highly of her OR YOU!
2. I don't care how bad his marriage is, you shouldn't have been having sex with someone who had a wife. You should have waited until they were divorced to get with him or bette yet, go after A SINGLE MAN! Regardless of what his marriage was you are a homewrecker and I have no respect for that!You have no idea if they would have tried to work it out if you weren't there.

Quoting Loving my girl!! *OHT*:“ 1. I don't think highly of her OR YOU! 2. I don't care how bad his marriage is, you shouldn't have ... [snip!] ... are a homewrecker and I have no respect for that!You have no idea if they would have tried to work it out if you weren't there.”

exactly- she wouldnt have had 2 abortions if she wasnt having sex with a married man in the first place!!!! that is just stupid IMO.

In all honesty, as much as I love kids and babies and pregnancy, people do not deserve to judge others for their choices unless you are completely perfect. Telling somebody why they did something is wrong, even if you think you did everything right.

I grew up in the foster care system and as of the end of 2008, there were 31,000 kids in that system in TEXAS ALONE, not counting the wards of the state who were waiting for a home or to age out of mental hospitals and residential system. Kids older than 8 do not normally find homes- go look at the adoption hopefuls on various websites, at their eyes and desperation. Children with disabilities (mental/emotional/physical) generally do not find homes either. Think about going up in a facility, no parents, no real constant connections, people shuttled in and out of your life, left by your parents.

I believe that it is completely wrong to bring unwanted babies into the world, or babies that cannot be taken care of due to any reason. Sure, you can find a brand new baby a home without much difficulty. But that could have been a home for another older child who is established. However, I am not going to tell a struggling single mom- or dad- that she/he is wrong if she/he is trying to make it work.

The fact that abortion exists, the fact that the foster system/ward of the state system exists, and the fact that older kids are thrown to the world without any real world training is terrible. None of these things should HAVE to exist. Nobody should HAVE to decide whether or not to keep their child or have to let go. But it does, just as somebody else said, pro-choice goes both ways, so I will never judge somebody for bringing a child into the world as long as they are willing to try.

My own mother had to abort 2 children- one to completely escape a crazy man who would have killed her and the second to appease my step-father, who would have killed her. Does that make her completely wrong? What kind of life would my half-siblings had if they had been carried to term to live their lives in fear constantly? Luckily, my sisters missed the bullet. My mom has told me that she wishes everything could have been completely different and that she would have had all five of her children with her, here. I am PROUD of my mom for sparing my would-have-been siblings. She eventually managed to even escape my abusive step-father, try to make amends with us girls, and get her life back on track. She made the right choice for her, and that's the only person she should have to answer to.

OP and all of the ladies who have had to make such a decision, I hope that time will grant you peace. You are NOT bad people and you DO NOT deserve to be strung up for your personal choices- nobody can walk the same mile in the same way that you can. Instead of judging other women who have had to make the same difficult choice, maybe you could all band together and support each other.

The common link in your posts is that this was the hardest thing you ever had to do and it was the worst emotional pain you had ever felt. Turn to one another or support groups to find comfort. Nobody should be forced to feel alone.

I am sorry for the long post, I just don't believe that people can... decide who is in the right or the wrong. Make your choices for YOU and accept that people have their own reasons. It makes me so angry when people have this double standard- it's okay for ME to do this but not YOU. I HAD REASONS, you had none. Who are you to criticize?

I hope you all find peace, really I do.