How to choose a baby name

There's no obvious method for choosing the perfect name for your child, so we've reserved this space so that everyone can submit their own list of the most essential pointers to help in the fun-yet-frustrating process of deciding just what name is right for your little bundle(s) of wonderful.

So here are some tips that Mara originally wrote:

Waiting is only a GOOD thing...
In our fast-food, high-speed, cable on demand world, you might feel pressured to answer those pushy folks asking you: "So whattya going to name your baby?" Remember this: it's is your child and this decision will affect them for the rest of their life-it will be an integral part of their identity.

So just take your sweet time-there's no rush. There's also no harm in waiting until after you've held your child in your arms and looked into their eyes. There might just be that moment where the name you've chosen suddenly doesn't make any sense at all. So keep a few "back-up" favorite names on the back burner for the off-chance you don't like the name you chose prior to the first time you hold your child in your arms.

Think about your life-philosophy a bit
Everyone already knows that every family is different. The name of your child is inevitably going to reflect an aspect of its family's philosophy. Are you deeply connected and interested in you or your partner's family history? If so start combining both of your family trees for interesting characters and names that might offer a little something to your child when you tell them about the source of their name.

On the other hand, family names offer a limited amount of creativity and won't necessarily reflect your personal views of life, which may be the things you'd rather bestow on your child. There's a plethora of beautiful and zany names being invented and re-invented every year.

Think about what your child would want to deal with

- Avoid bad acronyms when you put the name together: e.g. Cathy Olivia Wiggum or Portia Ingrid Grisham. Some are cute though, Frieda Uma Niger

- Rhyming is NOT so cute (e.g. Randal Crandal)

- New Derivations on old words aren't fun either: (e.g. Walter Mellon)

- Inventing new spellings of old standards isn't necessarily that cool for your child. (Aymee will have to explain that she isn't Amy-over and over again).

- Is it a flexible name with possibilities in any line of work? (think doctor vs artist)

- Rhythm as opposed to rhyme is good thing: long first names go well with short last names and vice versa.

Got some good tips? Then post them here!

I agree with all those they're right on! One thing I'd like to add:

* giving your little girl a boy's name is a horrible thing to do.

I went to middle school with a girl named Jordann. And at the age of 13 she was flat as can be. Most girls developed something sometime in grade six or seven. But she was flat until sometime in high school, and was modestly endowed, which goes without saying. Anyway for at least two years everyone used to make fun of her and say "Gee, what's HE doing in here." When she came into the gym locker room. Not to mention other forms of teasing to do with her name and her body.
And also if they're larger boned too. A girl named Kendra, Ken for short, who was tall, muscular, and heavy. Used to get called "Ken my Man" needless to say she didn't really like it.

So think about it all you parents to be who think Addison (means Son of Adam) or Jackson (Son of Jack) are just the cutest names for your girls... You're wrong.
And icky made up names like Davilyn are just as bad UCK! Those types of names tell me the parents were so sure the baby was going to be a boy they started to write David on the birth certificate and then realised OMG no penis! Davi- ... ummm .... ummm what do we do now...? -lyn

Also not trying to make anyone too upset but a lot of those "African American" names are really out there. A rule of thumb is if you don't have to explain the spelling when you type it to an educated, litterate member of your family over the age of thirty-five you're good. But, there has been a study that these types of names make it harder for them to get a job latter in life. I guess I'm reinforcing the aformentioned "Is it a flexible name with possibilities in any line of work?" DeLaTonka Raya-Rae (huge exageration meant to be comical) might be a great model but most people probably wouldn't trust her alone in/cleaning their house or while they're on the operating table.

Spellings.... UGH spell it right!!! If later in elementary or middle school your child wants to spell their name different, let THEM. Don't do it for them from birth. It might not be their style. Not to mention it's a poor model for the English language and could cause some confusion. Ethnic spellings are okay if you're of THAT ethnicity. Say people of Eastern European decent could call their daughter Viktoria. Or Japanese may call their daughter Kimi,(really a Japanese name) instead of Kimberly. There's nothing worse than a misleading name. Or one that makes them sound like a moron ei: JezziKah for Jessica.

Pleasant, thoughtful, naming,

---------- Ash

how does ryelei sound for a lil girls name? too much?

what about kelton for a lil boy?

Specs06 wrote: I agree with all those they're right on! One thing I'd like to add:

* giving your little girl a boy's name is a horrible thing to do.

I went to middle school with a girl named Jordann. And at the age of 13 she was flat as can be. Most girls developed something sometime in grade six or seven. But she was flat until sometime in high school, and was modestly endowed, which goes without saying. Anyway for at least two years everyone used to make fun of her and say "Gee, what's HE doing in here." When she came into the gym locker room. Not to mention other forms of teasing to do with her name and her body.
And also if they're larger boned too. A girl named Kendra, Ken for short, who was tall, muscular, and heavy. Used to get called "Ken my Man" needless to say she didn't really like it.

So think about it all you parents to be who think Addison (means Son of Adam) or Jackson (Son of Jack) are just the cutest names for your girls... You're wrong.
And icky made up names like Davilyn are just as bad UCK! Those types of names tell me the parents were so sure the baby was going to be a boy they started to write David on the birth certificate and then realised OMG no penis! Davi- ... ummm .... ummm what do we do now...? -lyn

Also not trying to make anyone too upset but a lot of those "African American" names are really out there. A rule of thumb is if you don't have to explain the spelling when you type it to an educated, litterate member of your family over the age of thirty-five you're good. But, there has been a study that these types of names make it harder for them to get a job latter in life. I guess I'm reinforcing the aformentioned "Is it a flexible name with possibilities in any line of work?" DeLaTonka Raya-Rae (huge exageration meant to be comical) might be a great model but most people probably wouldn't trust her alone in/cleaning their house or while they're on the operating table.

Spellings.... UGH spell it right!!! If later in elementary or middle school your child wants to spell their name different, let THEM. Don't do it for them from birth. It might not be their style. Not to mention it's a poor model for the English language and could cause some confusion. Ethnic spellings are okay if you're of THAT ethnicity. Say people of Eastern European decent could call their daughter Viktoria. Or Japanese may call their daughter Kimi,(really a Japanese name) instead of Kimberly. There's nothing worse than a misleading name. Or one that makes them sound like a moron ei: JezziKah for Jessica.

Pleasant, thoughtful, naming,

---------- Ash

I have to DISAGREE!!!
Frankly I have to say this is only my opinion as much as what you said was only your opinion and people should see it ONLY as that.

So what your saying is... any femine name that can be shortened into a derivitive of a boys name like Samantha (sam), Kendall ( ken), Nicole (nic), Josphine (joey), AND unisex names like Aaron, Adrian, Alex, Bailey, Cameron, and Shawn
Just shouldn't be used because some kids at your school growing up got teased?
*NEWS FLASH*
Kids can be cruel even if your name is as simple as ann, amber, or even John.

People that name there kids unique names or find different ways to spell old ones. Are people being creative and different, which I was taught are important qualitys to have. If everything in this world was red and everyones name was Elizabeth and James what a boring world this would be!

As for African American names that is an ethnic thing and there own tradition of naming there children. WHO ARE YOU TOO JUDGE?!? Just because they dont name what you ancestors named there slaves its not ok. NO SORRY, YOUR NOT OK!

Your views on nameing children are one sided and arogant. I bet this is your first child. If you had already had a child and one in contact with other children you would know, It doesn't matter what your parents name you, kids will always find something to tease them about. I find that children with different name's make them stand out and do make them different but, we live in 2006 not 1906! It's important to be different, creative, imaginative, and anything else that makes you special, makes you who you are.

You sound like a fool! I pray you dont choose to instill such ignorance and judgemental falues in your child. For it will be the one that suffers in the end not, someone with a different name!

OHHH AND BY THE WAY......

ASH if ASHLEY IS YOUR NAME ( WHICH I'M GUESSING IT IS )
ASHLEY STARTED AS A BOY'S NAME BEFORE IT WAS EVER A GIRLS!!!!!!!

ryelei_sheilds012407 wrote: how does ryelei sound for a lil girls name? too much?

what about kelton for a lil boy?

I like Rylei for a girl, its Irish for courageous, deffinitly not too much. There are many ways too spell it, I have never seen it spelled Ryelei. Rylei but, never with the added e.

Just MY opinion.... Rye reminds me of the bread. It's your choose in the end how you spell it. I can offer my opinion and own ideas and you can do with it what you want.

If you spelled it Ry-Lei it would mean Little heavenly child
Ry is a short form of Ryan meaning Little for a girl
and Little king for a boy
Rye is typically male meaning powerful ruler
Lei is Feminine Hawaiian meaning heavenly child (which you could pronounce Lee)

But then you could spell it....
Rylee, Rilea, Rileah, Rilee, Rilei, Rileigh, Riley, Rili, Rilie, Rylea, Rylei, Ryly
(All are Irish for courageous) So I dont see why you shouldn't name her Ryelei

Kelton is diffferent, cant say I have ever heard it. Not sure how your pronouncing it but, It's different I Like It.

Just remember It doesn't matter what people say. It's your baby name it what you like. Names always seem to fit children no matter what they are.

I agree you should have backup names, because you may change your mind as you hold your baby for the first time.

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Air wrote:

Specs06 wrote: I agree with all those they're right on! One thing I'd like to add:

* giving your little girl a boy's name is a horrible thing to do.

I went to middle school with a girl named Jordann. And at the age of 13 she was flat as can be. Most girls developed something sometime in grade six or seven. But she was flat until sometime in high school, and was modestly endowed, which goes without saying. Anyway for at least two years everyone used to make fun of her and say "Gee, what's HE doing in here." When she came into the gym locker room. Not to mention other forms of teasing to do with her name and her body.
And also if they're larger boned too. A girl named Kendra, Ken for short, who was tall, muscular, and heavy. Used to get called "Ken my Man" needless to say she didn't really like it.

So think about it all you parents to be who think Addison (means Son of Adam) or Jackson (Son of Jack) are just the cutest names for your girls... You're wrong.
And icky made up names like Davilyn are just as bad UCK! Those types of names tell me the parents were so sure the baby was going to be a boy they started to write David on the birth certificate and then realised OMG no penis! Davi- ... ummm .... ummm what do we do now...? -lyn

Also not trying to make anyone too upset but a lot of those "African American" names are really out there. A rule of thumb is if you don't have to explain the spelling when you type it to an educated, litterate member of your family over the age of thirty-five you're good. But, there has been a study that these types of names make it harder for them to get a job latter in life. I guess I'm reinforcing the aformentioned "Is it a flexible name with possibilities in any line of work?" DeLaTonka Raya-Rae (huge exageration meant to be comical) might be a great model but most people probably wouldn't trust her alone in/cleaning their house or while they're on the operating table.

Spellings.... UGH spell it right!!! If later in elementary or middle school your child wants to spell their name different, let THEM. Don't do it for them from birth. It might not be their style. Not to mention it's a poor model for the English language and could cause some confusion. Ethnic spellings are okay if you're of THAT ethnicity. Say people of Eastern European decent could call their daughter Viktoria. Or Japanese may call their daughter Kimi,(really a Japanese name) instead of Kimberly. There's nothing worse than a misleading name. Or one that makes them sound like a moron ei: JezziKah for Jessica.

Pleasant, thoughtful, naming,

---------- Ash

I have to DISAGREE!!!
Frankly I have to say this is only my opinion as much as what you said was only your opinion and people should see it ONLY as that.

So what your saying is... any femine name that can be shortened into a derivitive of a boys name like Samantha (sam), Kendall ( ken), Nicole (nic), Josphine (joey), AND unisex names like Aaron, Adrian, Alex, Bailey, Cameron, and Shawn
Just shouldn't be used because some kids at your school growing up got teased?
*NEWS FLASH*
Kids can be cruel even if your name is as simple as ann, amber, or even John.

People that name there kids unique names or find different ways to spell old ones. Are people being creative and different, which I was taught are important qualitys to have. If everything in this world was red and everyones name was Elizabeth and James what a boring world this would be!

As for African American names that is an ethnic thing and there own tradition of naming there children. WHO ARE YOU TOO JUDGE?!? Just because they dont name what you ancestors named there slaves its not ok. NO SORRY, YOUR NOT OK!

Your views on nameing children are one sided and arogant. I bet this is your first child. If you had already had a child and one in contact with other children you would know, It doesn't matter what your parents name you, kids will always find something to tease them about. I find that children with different name's make them stand out and do make them different but, we live in 2006 not 1906! It's important to be different, creative, imaginative, and anything else that makes you special, makes you who you are.

You sound like a fool! I pray you dont choose to instill such ignorance and judgemental falues in your child. For it will be the one that suffers in the end not, someone with a different name!

OHHH AND BY THE WAY......

ASH if ASHLEY IS YOUR NAME ( WHICH I'M GUESSING IT IS )
ASHLEY STARTED AS A BOY'S NAME BEFORE IT WAS EVER A GIRLS!!!!!!!

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I have to agree with you because first of all a lot of girls name we know and love started off as boys names Ashely is one of them. One of my Fiance favorite movie is Evil Dead the main character is a man named Ashely but the whole movie he is called Ash. Plus some other girls names that were boys names are Stacy, Tracy, Jodi, Kimerlly, Renee (for a boy it's spelled Rene and I want that name for my son), and Kelly. I actually went to school with a guy named Stacy. Not to mention Jordan was orignally a unisex name, and so is Taylor, along with Payton, Hayden, Jayden, Tatum, and Baily (all have like 50 different spellings). There are also some common names for girls that are just slightly spelled different than a boys name. For examle: two of my good friends are Alan (a boy) and Alana ( a girl). Or Julie was actually a nickname for Julius. Francine is a girl version of Francis, and a lot of girls are now getting named Francis now too.
Then the spelling thing is yeah a little outlandish but I'm sorry at least it offers some variatey. For instanse one of the names I like for a girl is Jennafer, because my name is Jennifer, and we call me Jenni spelled with an I so I thought it would be cute to name my daughter with an A instead and call her Jenna for short.
I also love the name Rian for a girl, but I hate Ryan for a boy, and I want to name a girl after my grandfather Andy, because I've heard several girls named Andy before.
Yes, I agree some names should not be, and were bad ideas. I go to church with a family who named their youngest girl Dojetta after the two cars they had when she was born, and I had a great Uncle named Anguish. But also their is nothing wrong with being originall with the baby's names that way you know the entire class won't be John and Jane.

truthfully i dont kno if i agree or disagree with any of this. lol

my name is bobbie jo. i am a girl yess of course. what happen was the doctor told my mom all three times she was pregnant that she was havin a boy .. my father wanted a boy so bad but everytime it turned out the doctor was wrong she had three girls. the first was going to be named bradley elliot she changed it to courtney lynn. the second was suppose to be named steven michael she changed it to stephanie michelle .. well i was the last to come right .. they had the name robert joseph picked out for me. but at the last minute found out i was a girl so i was the last of the bunch my mother let my father name me bobbie jo [short for robert joseph] because it was easier to change robert joseph into bobbie jo and it was cute i guess. I hated my name growing up because people made fun of me. i got called all kinds of things like sloppy joe and things like that .. also substitutes always called my name in roll at school and then would be like where is he ? it made alot of confusion for me growing up. but i rather have the name bobbie jo because its unique and there arent many others with that name where i live and it just made the guys remember me as we grew up rather than just another ashley, amber, danielle, sarah, etc. so yes the child will grow up getting made fun of but in the end they will feel like they have their own identity.. also the spelling of names i think to an extent its cute. such as bailey [which i may use for both a girl or boy because I`m 16 weeks pregnant] i would rather spell it baylee just because it looks better. also my name has to do with this also. Bobbie Jo alot of people spelled it wrong. thats my biggest pet peeve is for someone to spell my name Bobby Joe. I hate that. but hey i understand.. but yeah thats just my thoughts on this whole discussion =) thanks. bye

--Bobbie Jo // Louisiana // 18yrs

i am naming my baby jordan lee, whether its a boy or a girl after my best friend. and its a unisex name, so i think thats okay. there is nothing wrong with being creative with spelling either, at least i dont think so. i have often wished my name was a little more unique.

i have a lot of possibilities for names picked out...i have no idea what we will use...but i am a HUGE fan of taking a 'normal' name and spelling it different to give my child his/her individuality....i even did that with my name, though never legally..my name is Erin...and i HATE it...i changed it to Arryn for about 5 years but got tired of explaining why i changed it..lol plus i have ALOT of deaf friends and it was harder for them to figure out how to pronounce it ARRYN...i still LOVE the spelling...just kind of grew out of wanting to be SO different...but i plan on giving my kids unique spellings...

AIR, YOU SAID IT ALL IN YOUR REPLY TO "SPECS06" IGNORANT VIEWPOINT! WOW! I AM OFFENDED BY HER COMMENT ABOUT HER QUOTED "AFRICAN AMERICAN" NAMES AND HOW THEY ARE "REALLY OUT THERE". IT'S CALLED BEING UNIQUE. JUST BECAUSE ALL AFRICAN AMERICANS AREN'T NAMING THEIR KIDS, JENNIFER, JESSICA, SUE, WILLIAM AND JOSEPH, DOESN'T MEAN THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE NAMES THEY CHOOSE TO GIVE THEIR CHILDREN. SOME "CAUCASIANS" ALSO CHOOSE OUT OF THE ORDINARY NAMES FOR THEIR CHILDREN AND NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THAT EITHER, SO IT'S NOT JUST AN "AFRICAN AMERICAN" THING. AND IF WE CHOOSE TO REPRESENT OUR CULTURE BY GIVING OUR CHILDREN UNIQUE NAMES, SO BE IT, YOU DON'T LIKE IT, TOO BAD. YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE THE NAMES FOR YOUR KIDS, THEN.
I HOPE YOUR CHILD, LITTLE 'SALLY' OR WHATEVER, FARES WELL IN LIFE WITH HER NAME THAT 5 OTHER KIDS IN HER CLASS WILL HAVE.

OH, AND THE RACIST COMMENT ABOUT HOW YOU WOULDN'T TRUST "DELATONKA" IN YOUR HOUSE ALONE.....!!!!! COME ON! GO AHEAD AND TRUST SUZIE, SHE COULD CLEAN YOU OUT JUST AS EASILY AS THE NEXT PERSON. DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER....OR IT'S NAME!!!!

honestly to me i think its up to the parents on what they want to name their baby n im sure theres people out there that wouldnt agree with them because they think its ugly or maybe its a pet name or some otha reason but thats that who cares what others think im sure half the names that we use here in the united states others in different countries are probably thinkin why on earth would we name our kid that n no matter what name you choose for your baby im sure theres some nickname out there to make fun of the name..n i actually prefer havin names that arent common im namin my baby boy Aztec pronounced AS + STICK n im sure someone he meets inlife well call him for short Ass but who knows cause i have a friend Jose n no one i know calls him hoe so yeah...

*And also if they're larger boned too. A girl named Kendra, Ken for short, who was tall, muscular, and heavy. Used to get called "Ken my Man" needless to say she didn't really like it. *

My name is Kendra and growing up I never had anyone call me Ken or make fun of it being manly. I actually liked my name because there was only like 2 other Kendra's all through high school.

im naming my little girl


Scarling
Kittie
Farie

or Satana
SATANa

Lets Hijack my girlfriends login. Wow, I am actually reading through stuff, amazing. Let me add my 2 cents to this.

My name is Scott, and during school I was one of the most picked on kids till I hit the final 2 years. By then, being a head taller than everyone and able to beat most of them at sports quietened it down. But I have a fairly common name, and they managed to find a way make fun of me using that.

So when we started deciding on names my viewpoint is, no matter what name you have, if someone is going to bully you, they will find a way to do it no matter what. Its not a name that makes someone bully you, its just their attitude.

With this in mind it left me very open minded about names. And we settled very early on Tyran Scott for our first child. We pronounce it Tier-an. Never seen that used before. Then afterwards, we started to realise it was 1 letter off being Tyrant in 2 languages, both our native languages as it happened. This didn't bother us though, it actually sounded fun.

And for the second child which is coming soon we are currently stuck on 3 names. Riley, Logan, and Wulfe. Originally, if it was a girl, we were going to use Rico Yasmine. We are currently testing them out to see which feels better for us, and will wait till he is born before we make our final decision. But the first thing people say is:

"Logan makes me think of wolverine"

and

"If you use Wulfe he will get picked on at school"

I thought about that second comment, and thought, I would prefer people calling me Wolfie or Wolf rather than Scotty Neville (as they did with me).

A name is something that feels right. It doesnt matter what it is, or how its spelt, but you have to test it, see the child, write the name down a lot. If you dont like it after that, then dont use it. Find another and try that. Being creative is what lifes about.