What is happening to us?

This may seem long, but I think I should put some background info..

Well there is a girl we used to be somewhat friends with about 3-4 years ago. Well actually I was more friends with her then hubby. It never became more because were were pretty different *she does lot of drugs like pills and sells*..

Last weekend my husband told me he was going to his friend dans house. After a few hours I tried calling him with no answer I repeated.. When he answered I asked where he was. He told me he was at the track with his friend dan that girl and her boyfriend. I already was a little annoyed thinking to myself why he would even chill with them. So he came home and I was with my daughter when he came out and said the girl and her boyfriend were stopping by to bring there dog over and meet my daughter *who is 21 months* I was pretty annoyed at that point, because there is no need to even see these people im not friends with.

During there visit I realized that Dan did not go to the track.. it was just the 3 of them.. so why did he lie about Dan going? I asked him and he said he never said that.. then I asked why he was even with Karen and he got a little defensive and said who cares they are friends.. I snapped back with my "Shut up your not friends you never were dont lie" but I dropped it.. (i trust or trusted him a lot).

So a week goes by... and I wake up one morning at 3:45am to him reaching over to grab my phone (I assume he was going to look through it) but when i woke he dropped it and pretneded to sleep.. WTF! I thought he trusted me.. so I freaked thinking WTF is he up at that time! So I got very suspisious..

The next day I decided to check our online cell records. *You can check texts... well just when they were sent, who sent, and time and date* And realized he has been talking to this girl a lot in an entire month! So I freaked ..

I totally don't think he would cheat on me.. ecspecially with her because she has been with her boyfriend for a long time.. so my first thought was OMG he is doing drugs or selling something!

Later that day I decided to confront him.. but I didnt want him to know I knew about that texts I wanted to see if he would be honest with me.. I asked him to swear on me his daughter n his dead brother if he is doing drugs or selling he sroew he was not. Then I asked him if he talked to this girl at allll before the day of the track of after and he lied to my face and told me he has not! We got into a little fight I was pretty mean.. *but he still didnt know I know the truth*.

So the next day I decided i'll give him another chance to be honest. I apoplogized to him for freaking out and fibbed a liitle saying I just got suspisious and a little jealous and what not. He told me again he hasn't been doing any drugs or seeling and has no need to even talk to that girl..

Soooo now I am at the point where I don't know what is going on, but I know something was and he is a freaking liar! So I acted really nice like I dont know anything and said you know" I really dont want you talking to this girl she is bad news and we dont need someone like that in our lives." He agreed and said he wasnt going to talk to her.. I also said if I find out he goes behind my back about anything there will be a huge problem.

My plan now is... if he stops talking to her like I asked.. then ok I will forgive buttt I will not forget and now I have no trust and must keep on top of him... but if he continues to talk to her I will show him how I know and basically tell him hes a POS for lying to my face.. I tried to give him a second chance but I will not be made a fool! I wll pack my shit and leave in a heartbeat!

Then last night around midnight he was sleeping and his phone got a text. I def. didnt want to check it so I woke him up and said someone texted him. I asked who it was and he said it was a guy friend. I said why is he texting you so late.. he said "he texts me all day" Funny part is this the guy he said it is.. is my bestfreind! So I went to bed thinking ill just ask my friend in the morning.. So I asked him today and he said he definatly did not text him that late! The fu*k lied to me! I am so mad I was to scream! But he has not talked to that girl since friday night... I have to wait until tonight to see who actually texted him but I am so mad and just needed to vent!

Any opinions on my situation? I think I am handling this so well cause normally id freak and be crazy but I think I am handling it so smart, calm and classy!

Girl, you need to figure this out. IMO and personal experiences, people don't hang out with people who do drugs unless they do drugs too.
Good luck - and can't you do your online thing to find out who text him?

Sorry but it sounds like something sneaky and underhanded is going on and it might be him cheating on you.  

He is an ass for lying to you and maybe he hasn't cheated, but it could be an emotional connection to this girl. I went through the same thing last year. I found out my hubby was talking to several different girls through text and online. I asked him about it and he lied. So oneday I asked him for his phone to take a picture, and he handed it over without thinking. Low and behold there were texts from these girls. He swears he didn't cheat, just "talked". We got in a huge fight and we seperated for about 2 months. I have no proof that he cheated so we got back together. Things are better now and I think he learned his lesson. If you have no sure proof that he cheated, I would tread very lightly because it could cause the end of your relationship. Make sure he knows that you will not tolerate lying or cheating. If he still feels the need to do it, then leave.

wow that is crazy, and i wouldnt be handling that situation as well as u r, i def applaud u for that. i would have confronted my DH with all the proof i had bitching and screaming lol.

i guess now all u can do is let it play out and see wat happens, the truth of it all eventually gets to u.

Quoting MiddayHavoc:“ He is an ass for lying to you and maybe he hasn't cheated, but it could be an emotional connection to ... [snip!] ... relationship. Make sure he knows that you will not tolerate lying or cheating. If he still feels the need to do it, then leave.”

Thats what my mom said too.. maybe I dont give him enough attention and what not.. but we also discussed our ralationship we both agreed that we basically are still together for our daughter but he also said he would change anything and do anything for us to be happy and work. Listen I am not idiot. I am not a dumb girl who would let a guy hit me or cheat or lie and stay with someone. We have been together for 4 years and if I find out he still talking to her I will leave immediatly.. no seperation and getting back together .. I am sorry but I am not going to be a fool! Ughhh I sure hope not cheating!!

first off if he has the balls to lie to your face, he's hiding something. you dont just lie if there's no reason to hide it..i would be HIGHLY suspicious that something is going on. i would definitely confront him soon, and tell him you know who and when he's talking to. and that you know he lied to you, and to your face. which is soo disrespectful.

you dont need that.

that sucks mama....... sorry you gotta deal with a pos

My SO claims he lied because he knew that I would be mad that he was talking to female friends. Which isn't true. I don't care if he has female friends as long as it's strictly platonic. But lying is lying, and thats a HUGE no no.

Hope all works out for you in the end OP.

Quoting MiddayHavoc:“ My SO claims he lied because he knew that I would be mad that he was talking to female friends. Which ... [snip!] ... as long as it's strictly platonic. But lying is lying, and thats a HUGE no no. Hope all works out for you in the end OP.”

DITTO!! my SO did the SAME!! i was like i wouldn't be as mad as i am now BECAUSE instead of being HONEST you lied. which is worse than telling me the truth. UGH MEN!!!! they'll NEVER get it!!!

Quoting ~*bella madre*~:“ wow that is crazy, and i wouldnt be handling that situation as well as u r, i def applaud u for that. ... [snip!] ... screaming lol. i guess now all u can do is let it play out and see wat happens, the truth of it all eventually gets to u.”

Well normally I am like that.. but my relationship at this point revolves around my daughter. I don't want to do anything or make any mistakes handling this.. Because anything that happens will affect her. Plus... if he knows I know how to check his phone records... he'll probably use his work phone and I have no access to that lol.. so im technically being very sneaky and smart.. i thin atleast

Quoting MiddayHavoc:“ My SO claims he lied because he knew that I would be mad that he was talking to female friends. Which ... [snip!] ... as long as it's strictly platonic. But lying is lying, and thats a HUGE no no. Hope all works out for you in the end OP.”

Well its so un called for because I tell him when I talk to my ex or this guy I used to hook up with who lives in another state.. and I know he will get pissed but I'd rather me tell him.. and i've said to him in the past that I tell him things and im brutally honest because id rather he find out from me and not through the grape vine.. ughh FML right now!

i think he is definatly being sneaky..

& if he lied to your face then there is defiantly
something going on.. whether its drug or cheating..

good luck! let us know what happens!