re: Single moms and moms to be Group BOSM

Quoting Leigha Jai:" see i told him if he don't step up that wyatte wont have his last name, and he didnt step up at all, ... [snip!] ... he is born, my mom said she will make sure of that, but ....ugh its just all confusing. i just really dont know what to do"

Well you can't make him care. So just do your own thing. Take care of your son and let the chips fall where they may. You can hope for the best, but I'd expect the worst. I really don't see this dude stepping up to help. So give your son your last name and don't let the douche canoe around your kid alone. If he decides to step up later, then hooray you get child support and your kid gets a dad. But like I said either way, file for child support as soon as the baby is born. Your son deserves the best you can give him.

Hi everyone!
My name's vanessa..nessie for short   I am expecting my very first little one (a boy) & it's really nice to find a group of single moms to ask questions to.  

My name is Courtney, I'm 22.. I'm expecting a boy, Zackary Allen due April 12, 2013! I'm a single mommy (:

So my daughter's dad is like a post-whore on Facebook right now.. because, I'm guessing, he went to court with his other baby-mama, and won more rights to her. He keeps saying how he got lucky and his baby will finally know her dad.
And I'm glad for him. I mean, I know the trouble he went through to get here.

But the part that makes me kinda sad is.. more chances to see his other child, means less time he'll spend with ours.
He's already doing it. He "conveniently' plans his visits with the other, on the same days he's supposed to see ours. So, as far as I know, our daughter never sees him. I've been told he spends time with her on his weekend visits (when she goes to his place), but, IDK.. sometimes I feel like they're just telling me stories to make him look great. BUT, my daughter tells me when she gets back, "Papa gave me a bath, Daddy was at work." Or, "Nana Jo put me to bed, Daddy was at home."
Unfortunately, I can't confirm anything. I'm just suspicious.

Quoting Kahleesi:" So my daughter's dad is like a post-whore on Facebook right now.. because, I'm guessing, he went to court ... [snip!] ... was at work." Or, "Nana Jo put me to bed, Daddy was at home." Unfortunately, I can't confirm anything. I'm just suspicious."

So she goes to her grandparents house and he supposedly comes over and spends time with her?

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" So she goes to her grandparents house and he supposedly comes over and spends time with her?"

Yeah, she goes to her great-grandma's house, and her dad goes over to visit.
His house (that he shares with his dad) is completely disgusting. I wouldn't want him to take her there.

Quoting Kahleesi:" Yeah, she goes to her great-grandma's house, and her dad goes over to visit. His house (that he shares with his dad) is completely disgusting. I wouldn't want him to take her there."

Well thank God for his grandparents then.   And have you outright asked her after a weekend there, "Did you see daddy?" or "Did you play with daddy?" That might more directly answer your question.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Well thank God for his grandparents then.   And have you outright asked her after a weekend there, "Did you see daddy?" or "Did you play with daddy?" That might more directly answer your question."

Yeah, I just ask her what she did and if she had fun. And yeah, if she saw her dad at all.

Quoting Kahleesi:" Yeah, I just ask her what she did and if she had fun. And yeah, if she saw her dad at all."

And what does she say?

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" And what does she say?"

She tells me what she did.. eat, play, go to church.. the stuff I know she does. And usually her dad is there, it's just his dad and grandma take care of her.

Quoting Kahleesi:" She tells me what she did.. eat, play, go to church.. the stuff I know she does. And usually her dad is there, it's just his dad and grandma take care of her. "

I just don't get why men feel it's okay to not take care of their child and push it off on someone else.

My daughter's dad his visitations with both of his kids today (ours, and his with another woman)
Our kids... have been basically shoved together.
And nobody told me about this... until I was strapping her into his truck.
I'm mad, because nobody told me. And, I told him... I didn't want the girls to meet until they were both a bit older (like, I was hoping around 6-8yrs old, at least)
He told me not to worry, and I'm being too paranoid.

I'm also mad that the freaking courts are just letting his "'A' time" override his "Melody time." I want my daughter to have her time with her dad, all by herself. And not for him to be spending time with his other kid, when ours hadn't seen him in like... a month..?

Blah. I'm so mad.. I don't think I'm making sense.

Quoting Kahleesi:" My daughter's dad his visitations with both of his kids today (ours, and his with another woman) Our ... [snip!] ... time with his other kid, when ours hadn't seen him in like... a month..? Blah. I'm so mad.. I don't think I'm making sense."

No, that makes sense. And unfortunately, you can't control who he brings around your daughter unless it's someone dangerous who could potentially harm her. It sucks, but he could even bring a new girlfriend around her and you'd have no say in it whatsoever. I personally think that there should be clauses in custody agreements that say a person should be in the parent's life consistently for 6 months to a year AND have met the other parent before they're allowed to be introduced to the child. I don't think it's healthy to introduce kids to a bunch of people that they might get attached to or "siblings" that aren't in their lives constantly. It just confuses the child.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" No, that makes sense. And unfortunately, you can't control who he brings around your daughter unless ... [snip!] ... of people that they might get attached to or "siblings" that aren't in their lives constantly. It just confuses the child."

Like.. I have no objections to the girls meeting. I just wanted it to be their decision.
I might be crazy for thinking this... but I hoped my daughter was going to go to her dad one day and say, "Daddy... I want to meet 'A'" and the other girl would want to meet Melody.
And he would talk to both me & the other girl's mother about them meeting and if it was okay with the both of us.
And then, and only then, the girls would meet.

And like.. he didn't tell me 'til now. Like.. "Oh, by the way..."
Ughh. I know I can't control it. It just makes me mad, mostly because he just sprung this up on me last minute and didn't even ask me how I felt about it.

Quoting Kahleesi:" Like.. I have no objections to the girls meeting. I just wanted it to be their decision. I might be ... [snip!] ... it. It just makes me mad, mostly because he just sprung this up on me last minute and didn't even ask me how I felt about it."

Oh yeah I totally get where you're coming from.