re: Single moms and moms to be Group BOSM

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" That makes no sense to me. I know it's not what you wanted, but that seems inconvenient for him also. ... [snip!] ... in at one specific place. That's just a crappy situation and doesn't seem like he's got the kids' best interest in mind at all."

I spent $15K fighting it. Small town, his mom works dispatcher at the local jail... no winning against that.

and.. I work nights.. so when I ahve the kids, they are often with a sitter anyway. Trying to convince him to switch to every other weekend... where I have them thursday through monday.... then all summer with him having them every other weekend.

problem is.. he works 12 hour shifts... 2 on, 2 off, 3 on, 2 off etc... so he has the kids on all his days off.. so he pays no daycare, doesn't have to worry about sitters etc. He has it made.. and wont budge.

Quoting I can see you:" I spent $15K fighting it. Small town, his mom works dispatcher at the local jail... no winning against ... [snip!] ... the kids on all his days off.. so he pays no daycare, doesn't have to worry about sitters etc. He has it made.. and wont budge."

Jeez. I'm at a loss for words on that one.

My BD has a meeting with child support services in the morning, so I'm gonna go to that and make sure that all of my DD's expenses are documented so he doesn't wiggle out of anything. He actually told me that he wasn't going to pay a bunch of money for a kid he never sees (even though he never asks to see her) and that he wasn't going to live on $50 a month so that I could go out and splurge with my money. Except that he's got me backed so far against the wall that ALL of my money goes to daycare and diapers and NONE of it goes to my car payment or storage unit payment or car insurance payment or any other bill I have for that matter.  

well BD started texting me last night havent heard from him in a month and he wants me to drive out to his place so he can see DD yea not gona happen he hasnt been here for her since she was born and only ocasionaly wants to see her when his marriage isnt going well but i asked him for 150$ to help pay a couple bills and he agreed to give it o me onthe 8th and im really hoping he doesnt back out

I know I probably shouldn't get too upset about this, but it irritates me when I look at BD's Facebook, and I'm bombarded with pictures and videos of his other daughter.
And nothing about ours.

Like, I watched a video he posted the other day of him playing with his other daughter, and he was like, "Awww.. I love you! You're so cute! Do you love daddy? Because Daddy loves you soooooo much!!!" I mean, it's cute... but he never talks to our daughter like that.
Plus, everybody comments/likes all the pictures/vids/status updates about her. But when he says something about Melody (our daughter) nobody really says anything.

And I feel stupid for getting upset about this  

Quoting Kahleesi:" I know I probably shouldn't get too upset about this, but it irritates me when I look at BD's Facebook, ... [snip!] ... he says something about Melody (our daughter) nobody really says anything. And I feel stupid for getting upset about this  "

id get upset thats pretty crap i love my daughter and expect her dad to love her the same

So, I drove an hour and a half down to the Child Support office in the middle of Crack Town. Not even joking. Our county is so screwed up that on one end, you have million dollar homes and on the other end, you have people literally walking up to your car trying to sell you crack. And for some reason, the child support office is in crack town.   Anyway, back to my story.

So I drive an hour and a half down to the CS office this morning only to find out that my idiot ex was offered a DNA test and instead of saying, "No thank you, I know she's my daughter." the smurf accepted the DNA test. So they halted ALL procedures right then and took his blood. And then they tell me that they'll be calling me down to bring my daughter down for a DNA test. So now she's gotta be stuck with a needle because of his stupid ass?! How is THAT fair? AND they won't even see us back to discuss his child support payments until JANUARY. So there smurfing goes ANY chance of buying my kids Christmas presents this year.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" So, I drove an hour and a half down to the Child Support office in the middle of Crack Town. Not even ... [snip!] ... his child support payments until JANUARY. So there smurfing goes ANY chance of buying my kids Christmas presents this year."

wow thats crappy! why cant they do an oral DNA test?? and why will it take that long for them to get a court date??????????????????????????

Quoting Jillian Lindsey:" wow thats crappy! why cant they do an oral DNA test?? and why will it take that long for them to get a court date??????????????????????????"

I don't know! But he said he was waiting for a phlebotomist, so I assume they'd take blood from her if they took blood from him?? Maybe not though. I'm not sure how that all works. And I have NOOOO idea why it takes so long to get results back and schedule a return appointment.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" I don't know! But he said he was waiting for a phlebotomist, so I assume they'd take blood from her ... [snip!] ... not sure how that all works. And I have NOOOO idea why it takes so long to get results back and schedule a return appointment. "

we went aug 1 for a DNA and the court date was set for the 8th of next month i was like hello? i need the money now if i didnt need it i wouldnt of asked for it! but i do so i did!

I'm due in January with my first (a boy!), and will be a single mom. Sperm donor won't be involved in any way, won't even be on the birth certificate. We are definitely better off without him around.  

Quoting I can see you:" I spent $15K fighting it. Small town, his mom works dispatcher at the local jail... no winning against ... [snip!] ... the kids on all his days off.. so he pays no daycare, doesn't have to worry about sitters etc. He has it made.. and wont budge."

That's gotta be so frustrating! I will never understand how some guys get off leaving the Moms like that...

Quoting Lilly Manuel:" I'm due in January with my first (a boy!), and will be a single mom. Sperm donor won't be involved in ... [snip!] ... donor won't be involved in any way, won't even be on the birth certificate. We are definitely better off without him around.  "

Please dont write him off just yet. Let him have a chance with your child.

So I am going to start being the bitch. My son is not going to be spending the night with his father nor is his father going to get any other day than what it says in our agreement. He refuses to sign the effing paperwork for the therapist for our son because he doesnt want to be any more finacally responsible for him. So I need to find a way to get sole custody of him. His father isnt doing Smurf for him. Except paying every week for him pisses me off.

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" Please dont write him off just yet. Let him have a chance with your child. "

He told me from the beginning that he wanted nothing to do with me or my child. He is no good for us, and I don't want my child exposed to his family. His mother is an abusive, racist, alcoholic. My son deserves better. One day, he will have that.

Quoting Lilly Manuel:" He told me from the beginning that he wanted nothing to do with me or my child. He is no good for us, ... [snip!] ... child exposed to his family. His mother is an abusive, racist, alcoholic. My son deserves better. One day, he will have that."

Hugs sweetheart! I'm really sorry that you don't have a support system in his family, or in him for that matter.

At the very least, right now I'm thankful for the support I have from his side of the family. I can't imagine not having it...