re: Medical Termination

Quoting at0mica:“ I am 100% pro choice but these things just upset me. I have an illness, not half as bad as DS but I ... [snip!] ... this child before you found out she MAY be sick, what makes you not still want her? I dunno. Sorry if I'm coming off rude.”

So your OK with a mother aborting a baby because she just doesn't want children or want to keep partying or financial reasons or any of the multitude of other reason people abort but your not OK with a mother aborting because her child has an illness and she's not sure she can handle it financially or watch her child grow up different.

You can't be 100% pro choice and judge this womans choice. Doesn't work that way toots.

Quoting 3 little monsters:“ So your OK with a mother aborting a baby because she just doesn't want children or want to keep partying ... [snip!] ... or watch her child grow up different. You can't be 100% pro choice and judge this womans choice. Doesn't work that way toots.”

No, there's a difference. She wanted this baby before she found out she may be sick, I don't see why abort this far along on a chance. The baby could come out perfectly normal, and even if she didn't, I'm sure she wouldn't love her any less.

I'm not trying to be rude and I'm sure she is going through so much but to decide to abort on a test that may not even be 100% accurate makes me sad.

Quoting at0mica:“ No, there's a difference. She wanted this baby before she found out she may be sick, I don't see why ... [snip!] ... and I'm sure she is going through so much but to decide to abort on a test that may not even be 100% accurate makes me sad.”

What's the difference? Pro choice. Womans right to choose no matter the circumstances.

I'm pissed. I knew i shouldn't have come here and i did ( thanks GDS ladies )

I can say i agree with Aly, i dont see how you could abort a child simply based upon financial issues? Then you shouldn't have been having a baby in the first place, it's selfish to me to abort a child based on not having enough money, your special needs child may cost a bit more but there are a million resources out there, resources of all types esp. financial and honestly it's one of the only things in this economy that holds strong. Your child will require the same things a 'normal' baby would, clothes, food, LOVE. You said it yourself you love this child more than life itself, so then why would you not give it a life? I'm so pro-choice i find myself being upset about being upset, but i think it's a bad and hard decision let alone a tough one to make in a week (( hell it's a tough one to make in months.. )) Regardless of your daughters special needs she's your daughter, your creation, you named her already and to abort her because you don't want her to suffer or feel like she's missing out on things??

All children feel like they are missing out on something, someone else always has it better, someone's mom let them get the new skirt your child will want, someone's dad lets their kid go to a party that you don't.... quality of life is what you make it, special needs isn't a curse, it's not the end of the world and thousands if not millions of people deal with it. 

I didn't find out my son was special needs until after he was 1, he is different yes, but he is amazing he is so much like a typical child it amazes me and he's grown because of the loves, the work and support. 

You love support and im sure encourage your other child OP do that with this baby, there is no reason not to. There is no reason to give up on dreams or a career because you were thrown a curveball.. again yes you will cry, you will swear, you will be frustrated some days, others you will be joyous you will be the proudest mother out there and your child will feel no different to you. when my daughter was born we were told moments after she may have downs because she had 2 features, for 2 weeks i was up all night, crying constantly, staring at my baby asking what if she is different and it hit me all at once that it wouldn't matter, that i'd call ten million doctors, i'd work my ass off to have the money i needed to and it wouldn't make a difference because i loved her, i saw her and held her and loved her and nobody was making my child any less amazing than i felt she was.

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, cause a fight or cut you down, it's one hell of a decision to make but talk to parents of special needs children, meet a parent or two of a child with downs -- you are not alone, you are not the only one and there is no reason not to get yourself educated before making the decision of a lifetime. It's sad but true, this is a life or death situation you shouldn't base your answers off of BG you shouldn't rely on friends opinions you should search yourself and i pray you think long and hard on this.. talk to every doctor available to you and never stop asking questions. 

Quoting [[ MANDI ]] [GDS]:“ I'm pissed. I knew i shouldn't have come here and i did ( thanks GDS ladies ) I can say i agree with ... [snip!] ... yourself and i pray you think long and hard on this.. talk to every doctor available to you and never stop asking questions.”

Thank you. You put what I was feeling in better words.

Quoting 3 little monsters:“ What's the difference? Pro choice. Womans right to choose no matter the circumstances. ”

thats where i draw the line...once a fetus can live outside of the womb i don't think its the woman's choice...but i dont want to change the post rails  pro-choice with regulations i suppose

Quoting beandis ~ jess [GDS]:“ thats where i draw the line...once a fetus can live outside of the womb i don't think its the woman's choice...but i dont want to change the post rails  pro-choice with regulations i suppose”

I don't like it but I'm not the one that has to live with it.

I wasnt starting this thread to start drama, sorry if this has offened people. I wanted to hear from people in this situation. I know my descion is gonna make a lot of people mad and this thread will prolly go to drama but i know what im doing for her is best.

Quoting Helen Baggett:“ I wasnt starting this thread to start drama, sorry if this has offened people. I wanted to hear from ... [snip!] ... my descion is gonna make a lot of people mad and this thread will prolly go to drama but i know what im doing for her is best.”

So you've decided then?

yes me and my husband spoke with family and came to the final descion this morning.

Quoting Helen Baggett:“ yes me and my husband spoke with family and came to the final descion this morning.”

Good luck! I hope that this decision is the best one for everyone. I know it had to be a tough one.

Quoting Helen Baggett:“ yes me and my husband spoke with family and came to the final descion this morning.”

Well I wish you luck. I hope that you can live with whatever you decide. It was a hard decision I imagine. My best to you.

So now that you know you are a carrier, are you ever going to try to conceive again?

Quoting [GDS] Listerfiend:“ So now that you know you are a carrier, are you ever going to try to conceive again?”

i'd sure as hell hope not, i'd hope for this woman to have her tubes tied if she is decided to not have a child because she can't financial support it because it may be special needs. I'm ashamed that people like this exist and i'm pro-choice. 

would you kill your child if 10 months after it was born you were told your child had autism? no probably not. 

Good luck with the mental reproductions that come with a decision to abort. I hope your other daughter will forgive you, i can't imagine explaining how you didn't give her the little sister (( i'm sure she knows your pregnant by now )) because she would be different. 

i dont care if i'm a bitch, yes this is not support but i will not support ANYONE making the decision to kill off a child this far along because you feel it will burden you. Please never breed again.  Could you imagine holding a perfectly formed child and letting it die in your arms and being okay with that? there is no medical reason to not go through with this, this was not a medical termination to begin with this is a selfish termination based on monetary issues which again i repeat you shouldn't have been smurfing in the first place.

Quoting Helen Baggett:“ I wasnt starting this thread to start drama, sorry if this has offened people. I wanted to hear from ... [snip!] ... my descion is gonna make a lot of people mad and this thread will prolly go to drama but i know what im doing for her is best.”

What is best for her, yeah.

I wouldn't want a mom to have me either knowing she couldn't afford me, or handle me because I was special needs.


I'm glad you came to this decision.