Pregnant after preemie

I haven't seen any other posts for women who are pregnant after having a preemie. I thought it might be good to get one going, for those considering TTC again or who are currently pregnant.

As the ol' timers know i've had 3 premature births, resulting in one live birth of my beautiful baby boy in 07. He was 1 lb 14 oz and 14 inches, we spent 2 months in one hosp and then 6 months in NICU here before 'step down' and moving on to the wards for long term care. His twin sister passed in utero several weeks before the birth.

Getting (or being) pregnant after a prior premature birth is a big decision and a scary experience, whether or not the premature birth had an identifiable cause. It's a unique but very tough situation; you are delighted to have another baby, but also at times consumed by worry incase 'it all goes wrong again'.

A premature birth robs a mother of so many things, the birth itself is usually unplanned and unexpected, you don't get to hold or bond or feed your baby as you normally would. You don't get to hold your baby, sometimes for weeks or months. You leave hospital with empty arms, not only after the birth, but day after day as you have to go to hospital just to visit your own newborn. Then there is NICU time - probably one of the most traumatic things a mother could ever go through. You watch helplessly as your child fights the biggest of battles...

When planning another baby you so desperately want to get all those things you missed out on, and more than anything you want to be able to safely carry your baby until they are ready to be born. Sometimes that involves surgery or bedrest - and i think this would be a good place to discuss this and get motivation and strength from each other..

Although women first come to PWP overwhelmed with their preemies and having another baby is the last thing on their mind... when the time comes to add to your family we should have a place to share and get support when embarking on a new pregnancy. The girls in PWP are incredibly caring and supportive and i think this thread will be useful and well placed in here so hopefully we can make this a sticky...


HOPE - we can make it full term  

Mummycharmzy; 1st baby = 31 weeks, 2nd = 35 weeks, 3rd = 38 weeks, 4th= 37 weeks.
Whitney; 1st baby = 24 weeks, 2nd = 38 weeks
Shmyer; 1st baby = 27 weeks, 2nd = 34 weeks, 3rd= 38 weeks
Canadianmomma; 1st baby = 31 weeks, 2nd = 39 weeks
Lexi&Skysmama; 1st baby = 29 weeks, 2nd = 37 weeks
Blissful: 1st baby = 29 weeks, 2nd = 39 weeks
Ahmirsmommy; 1st baby = 34 weeks, 2nd = 35 weeks, 3rd = 38 weeks

Lots of term babies after preemies!

This is really great post. I had my baby at 32 weeks due to severe pre-e. It was super traumatic....after I had Dylan people kept asking me if I wanted another one and I would say NO right away cuz it was really tough. BUt now that he is 7 months and my SO and I are in a better place financially we are seriously talking about trying for a girl....and I am very nervous that I will encounter all the same issues again. I long to have a "normal" pregnancy and labor experience....but I'm not sure if it's possible~

Wow. He was only barely 2 lbs. I don't know what I would do. I'm 24 weeks today and the baby only weighs about 2 pounds. It must have been pretty hard on you, I could never imagine what you went through.

I think this is a wonderful topic.
I am a little nervous with this one.
I had premature twins at 25 weeks.
I keep thinking with this one that I am 13 weeks, only 12 weeks until I went into labor last time.. and have been counting the weeks since I found out. Its a little nerve wracking, espically when the only explination I got for why I had premature rupture of membrains (sp?) is because I was carring twins?
Up until I found out I was pregnant I told everyone I didn't want to have another because of what had happened. Its a little scarring.
Hopefully I will be a little smarter with this one and take care of myself alittle more.
Anyways, I hope that there are other ladies in here than can relate and have hopefully had positive expierenceswith their second time around and such.
Good luck to everyone.

I had my son at 24 weeks and he was in the NICU for 4mos... he came home nearly a month after his due date. You're right - it has to be the hardest thing a mother can go through... I know it was tough for me. My son is 5 now and doing great. Im pregnant w/ my 2nd baby and she's coming on the 28th - i'll be 38 weeks and 3 days (thank God) I dont know what went wrong the 1st time but i feel blessed this time around. Awesome post by the way  

Yes very great topic. I had my last dd at 34 wks and I am scared everyday that it will be the same thing with this baby which I am 30 wks now. The NICU scared the shit out of me even though she was only there 16 days it was one of the worst times in my life. My oldest dd I also went into preterm labor actually on April 9th but luckily they stopped it and she went to 40 wks. I think all the preemie mamas are like superwomen that have babies in the NICUespecially if they are there for wks or months!!

I'm glad this is of use to people   I'm almost 18 weeks pregnant now after 11 months TTC. One of the reasons we tried so soon after is because i was still very much consumed by NICU and i knew that if i waited much longer then i would probably look back on the whole experience and be far too terrified to ever be pregnant again! At that point i also had no idea how long we would end up in hospital or what our LO would endure, so i'm glad we got the ball rolling on the whole TTC effort before i was too scared to even try!

I had the usual worries about early m/c during the first trimester, but over the last 2 weeks (since baby has been moving around so much probably!) i've been getting increasingly anxious and nervous of another preterm birth as these next 2 months are when we had/lost our LOs. My first hurdle is the anomaly scan, which we're leaving till 22 weeks to better check babys heart (our son was born with multiple cardiac defects). After that i just can't wait to get into the third trimester. I'm hoping that if baby is healthy and growing well, then at 28 weeks i will finally be able to relax a little!

So i find too that i'm counting down the weeks, and with each week that passes (because of our births from 18-27 weeks) i know exactly what our baby's growth and development is like and what he looks like etc, so i've got all these milestones and 'safe points' that i can't wait to pass!

Finding out that this pregnancy wasn't twins again was a huge relief to me in some ways as our last delivery was due to it being a multiple pregnancy. I'm also trying to take better care of myself this time and really stick to the bedrest as much as possible. I've been feeling a lot of pressure down low and that really scares me, but then baby likes to hang out really low so i'm hoping i'm just very sensitive to feelingeverythingand it's not a bad sign or anything!

I've been pretty traumatised by everything we've been through, part of that is having no control or ability to protect your baby and all they have to endure. Being pregnant again reminds me that i still don't have much control over what happens (other than taking good care of me and bump), and i also find myself panicking about 'what if' it happens again - i remember all the horrible little experiences we've had in hospital and just pray that it doesn't happen again.

Congrats *waiting for Trinity* for getting to 38 weeks   And *big mama* you are getting on there too, although i know with these dates it must be a nervewracking time for you. I really hope we all get to enjoy our pregnancies without too much worry, and that we get the births and 'newborn experience' that we missed out on last time.

Quoting BGsince07 *17 weeks*:“part of that is having no control or ability to protect your baby and all they have to endure. Being pregnant again reminds me that i still don't have much control over what happens (other than taking good care of me and bump), and i also find myself panicking about 'what if' it happens again -”

This is definately the hardest part. I lost my son at 18 weeks, a week after we found out he was a boy and named him.   There was no explaination as to the cause, just that I got an infection in my womb for unknown reasons and had PROM. When I got pregnant with Paige, I was so happy but also scared out of my mind. I took every precaution known to man and then some, but since the doctors really couldn't tell me what went wrong the first time, I was "flying blind." They told me that the chances of the same thing happening again were slim. I had a million prenatal tests and screens. Still, I counted down the days till 18 weeks, then till 24 weeks (the age of viability). After 24 weeks, I figured every day was a blessing, but I couldn't really "enjoy" being pregnant because I felt like I was walking on eggshells... like the littlest thing might cause everything to go wrong again.

Anyways, Paige made her appearance in week 27... although terrified because she was so early, I also knew that unlike my son, she had a chance for survival. Because of this I was able to cope pretty well after she was born. My husband, on the other hand, is literally scarred for life from the experience of Paige's birth. He still can't talk about it without breaking into a cold sweat and his heart racing. Poor hubby.  

I had a baby at 25 weeks. He was 1 lb 12 oz and 12 inches long. He spent 6 months and a week in the NICU. He has cerebral palsy and lung issues and has been hospitalized numerous times. At first we didn't think we would want another baby because it was too hard but then we decided we were ready. I had 3 miscarriages and started rethink our decision to have another baby. Last year my son (who is now 4) almost died during one of his hospital stays. I sat in the family room while they worked on him and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Then all I could think about was that he never got his brother or sister. I always said he would make the best big brother. Well in November we had another boy who was born at 35 weeks. He had no problems and came home with me 2 days after being born. I was somewhat nervous during this pregnancy but all I could think about was getting that brother or sister for my son. That thought would relax me. It was the best decision we made.

Quoting usagi:“ This is definately the hardest part. I lost my son at 18 weeks, a week after we found out he was ... [snip!] ... of Paige's birth. He still can't talk about it without breaking into a cold sweat and his heart racing. Poor hubby.  ”

I'm so glad Paige stuck it out to 27 weeks, she's such a beautiful little girl. Although it's not exactly a walk in the park the odds are much better for healthy babies at that point, it's sort of a mid-way for me because of what happened last time, i just can't wait to get past that!!

I'm the same way in that each thing that went wrong with us were very individual anduncommon things... and yet it's still happened 3 times. We had the same problem with PROM and infection with our first, but i was too young and stupid to understand and was given poor care. We lost our second at the same time as your son, so being at that point right now is tough.

My DH really struggles with it, his main problem is getting attached. He's just too scared to bond at all during pregnancy. period. He doesn't even like touching my bump as he's scared the baby won't make it and he doesn't want that pain again. I tell him no matter what happens we have to give our babies all the love we can, but i guess we deal with things differently.

Hmmm, i wonder if you took any precautions that i haven't thought of yet?? no matter how random i'll take all i can get lol

Quoting bellejake2003:“ I had a baby at 25 weeks. He was 1 lb 12 oz and 12 inches long. He spent 6 months and a week in the NICU. ... [snip!] ... could think about was getting that brother or sister for my son. That thought would relax me. It was the best decision we made.”

That's pretty similar to us. After 6 months in NICU due to severe lung issues our son had to get a g-tube and tracheostomy so we never got to leave hospital after nicu, we just moved to respiratory and ward care. His ox requirements never dropped low enough for long enough to go home and his weight, medications and calorie intakerequire suchregular monitoring. He developed heart failure as a result of the combination of CLD/BPD and defects. The surgery for defects has a minimum weight limit, and because of his health he wouldn't gain much weight and it was a very slow process.

We too desperately wanted to give him a brother or sister, because 1) he lost his twin sister and i feel awful for that, and 2) i've never met such a contented and loving baby, i knew he'd be a great big brother. By the time he was 14lbs we were told he was terminally ill because of his heart failure, even if he made it to surgery his heart and lungs were already beyond repair. So then my focus was on getting pregnant before we lost him. I knew i'd need something to live for, as my boys are my world.

It is very hard having multiple m/c, when you try so hard and go through such pain and loss, it's difficult to know how much more you can cope with and what the best thing to do is. For me it's not just what i go through, but mainly the babies and DH. I felt like i couldn't give up on our dream as a family though, but it hasn't made me any less scared.

Congrats on your 'new' baby   I'm so glad the pregnancy went well and everything is good now. Stories like that really help me to stay strong and keep going  

My son was 29 weeks weighing two pounds 10 ounces. he spent 2 months in the NICU. Though I do want more children in the future,I couldn't imagine having as much love and gratefullness for another child as I do my son.

Quoting MISS Tommie:“ My son was 29 weeks weighing two pounds 10 ounces. he spent 2 months in the NICU. Though I do want more ... [snip!] ... do want more children in the future,I couldn't imagine having as much love and gratefullness for another child as I do my son.”

OMD i love this thread, you girls are all saying things that i've been feeling/thinking about all these weeks! It feels good to know it's not just me!

At 10 weeks i had a bit of a breakdown, because i was suddenly overwhelmed with the fear that i wouldn't be able to love another baby the same, or that i wouldn't enjoy things knowing that we never got to do them with our preemie prince. I'm not so worried about that now (probably because my hormones have calmed down   ), but i still don't know how hard it'll be when it's happening... i love this baby though, so whatever happens i'll just need to find a way to cope/deal with it.

Well it's not me now but I've been there! It's such a scary thing so I definitely feel for anyone going through it! Thinking about doing the NICU again was the most stressful for me. I was naive and stupid and honestly had a 'my baby won't die' attitude. Then it was a possibility and that sure sobered me up. I so hope for positive outcomes for all of you! And wow to those of you who have gone to term after a preemie!! I'm jealous!  

I hope i go OVERdue, hope you don't get too jelo lol