re: Birth Mom Support Thread

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" It was very easy for me, because I was living in lala land. But I would say that putting your girls ... [snip!] ... If I had known what it would do to my son, I would have had another abortion. I regret my adoption more than my abortion. "

Probably because they are older and wouldn't understand huh... I'm actually thinking more about abortion at this point now.. because that is a VERY good point!

Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:" Probably because they are older and wouldn't understand huh... I'm actually thinking more about abortion at this point now.. because that is a VERY good point!"

yeah. Adrian was 4 when I got pregnant.. It was hard. Today he was talking about how he wanted a brother or sister. And I started crying. I am here for you if you want someone to talk to <3

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:</b>" Just found out I was pregnant, I don't think I'm going to be able to have this baby when I'm so stressed ... [snip!] ... how hard truly was it to give the baby away right after it was born? I think thats the scariest part for me to think about."</blockquote>




I had her in the hospital with me for five days then took her home for a night. It's a very open adoption so I didn't have to feel like I would never see her again. She also lives ten minutes away.

Choosing a couple you love and are comfortable with made it easier for me. By my own choice I see her two or three times a year.

I just knew I wanted her to have everything and that I couldn't do that for her.

Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:" Just found out I was pregnant, I don't think I'm going to be able to have this baby when I'm so stressed ... [snip!] ... how hard truly was it to give the baby away right after it was born? I think thats the scariest part for me to think about."

Christi  
I wouldn't have the baby. It's that Modesto tattoo guy's, right? The one you've been on and off and on and off with and who totaled your car and punched you, right?
Adoption is hard. It's really really hard. But it would be easier than trying to raise three children single in your situation. I feel like you're getting on your feet and making a name for yourself and having that guy's child would only hinder it.
If you're sure you can't do abortion, adoption would be the best bet. I don't know about your other girls though and how they would react. I didn't have other children when I placed Panda.

Quoting ♥`n my girls:" Yes, I did."

How old was your oldest? My oldest is 4, he'll be almost 5 when this ones born. It's only going to be his half sibling, but I just.. I don't know. I don't even know if he'll understand that I'm pregnant or understand what's going on. He's with his dad half the time anyways since that's all my ex will agree to. We have split 50/50 custody. So it's not like he'll even been around when this one is born.. He already has his little brother and they're really close. I just don't know if I'll be able to handle having a baby full time while not having my boys full time. Does that even make sense?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:</b>" Just found out I was pregnant, I don't think I'm going to be able to have this baby when I'm so stressed ... [snip!] ... how hard truly was it to give the baby away right after it was born? I think thats the scariest part for me to think about."</blockquote>




I have done both. ime abortion was easier to get over than adoption. adoption took way more out of me. on the other hand I'm open with my daughter about the adoption. hasn't been an issue.

Quoting MissAshley+3:" How old was your oldest? My oldest is 4, he'll be almost 5 when this ones born. It's only going to be ... [snip!] ... don't know if I'll be able to handle having a baby full time while not having my boys full time. Does that even make sense? "

He will understand. My oldest just turned 4 when I found out I was pregnant. It has really messed him up emotionally. He was 4 and a half when my youngest son was born.

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" Hey lady!!! How have you guys been?"

We've been good! I'm finally on winter break from school so we've been relaxing. We speak to Mary's parents about once a week now and they still send us pictures. She's so big now!

Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:" Probably because they are older and wouldn't understand huh... I'm actually thinking more about abortion at this point now.. because that is a VERY good point!"

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

And I'm sorry that many of you have had bad adoption experiences. They're not all like that. I haven't been on in a while, but I'm a long time member and my birthson is 14 yrs old. My adoption situation has been a dream. It's very open and we are all one big happy family.

Not all adoptive parents treat the birthparents poorly. I actually came back to the TTC/Adoption boards looking for advice on where to start with regards to adopting. I plan to be an amazing adoptive mother and be as open as my son's parents are with me.

If I can help in any way let me know.

Heather

Quoting ♥`n my girls:" We've been good! I'm finally on winter break from school so we've been relaxing. We speak to Mary's parents about once a week now and they still send us pictures. She's so big now!"

That is good!!!

Hello ladies.  I have a question; At what age do you think it's appropriate to explain to your child that they have an older sibling, and explain the adoption situation?

Quoting Incognito Ninja™:" Hello ladies.  I have a question; At what age do you think it's appropriate to explain to your child that they have an older sibling, and explain the adoption situation? "

I would think about 9 - 10... But I mean ultimately its up to you if you think she is strong enough mentally to handle it.

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" I would think about 9 - 10... But I mean ultimately its up to you if you think she is strong enough mentally to handle it. "

See I was thinking around that time too. The only thing is, by the time K is 10, Kathryn will be 21. I just don't want for her to find me or visa versa, without having some conversation with K by then. I guess I still have plenty of time to figure all that out lol.

Quoting Incognito Ninja™:" See I was thinking around that time too. The only thing is, by the time K is 10, Kathryn will be 21. ... [snip!] ... or visa versa, without having some conversation with K by then. I guess I still have plenty of time to figure all that out lol."

lol. Yeah.. I mean I know Adrian doesnt really fully understand what happened, but he was there. I wish I had more to help you. lol.

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" lol. Yeah.. I mean I know Adrian doesnt really fully understand what happened, but he was there. I wish I had more to help you. lol. "

Oh it's okay, no biggie. I had got to thinking earlier and was like, oh smurf, in 5 1/2 years, there's a chance that my daughter will come looking for me. o_O
K will only be seven by then, so I wasn't sure if that's too young.
Hell, I don't know what i'm going to do if/when I do meet her and she asks about her birth dad. He was murdered last year.
Pure craziness going on in my head right now.