idk... vent...

Well, my moms helping me pay for a lawyer. and now me and the ex are in a custody battle. i never wanted this for my daughter... i was hoping shed have a better life than me with a father. me and my mom were talking, and she wants to adopt my daughter and i really dont want her to i love my daughter but im not stable and i dont have a job or my own appartment and they can give her the life i never had all i want is the best for her and i dont know what to do. they can give her stability and a safe home. i dont have any of that at this time. my mom said she will always let me be in her life and she will know im her mother. but idk. its so hard.

What about temp. custody and her taking till you can get on your feet?

Quoting Maggie Maes MaMa:“ Well, my moms helping me pay for a lawyer. and now me and the ex are in a custody battle. i never wanted ... [snip!] ... of that at this time. my mom said she will always let me be in her life and she will know im her mother. but idk. its so hard.”

Your mother would not be able to adopt your child if the father does not sign away his rights... and since you are in a custody battle it doesn't sound like he would. I don't see why your mom can't support you and your daughter without adopting her?

Quoting whitney.:“ What about temp. custody and her taking till you can get on your feet?”

idk thats what we are talking about she wants adoption though echk.

Quoting Chelsea *Team Blue*:“ Your mother would not be able to adopt your child if the father does not sign away his rights... and ... [snip!] ... battle it doesn't sound like he would. I don't see why your mom can't support you and your daughter without adopting her?”

yea but it wont be hard to do that. hes well... well im not going to bash him here its unneeded but hes not a very good person.

is she offering this as an option to avoid the custody battle? Im just wondering about the laws where you live regarding adoption only because the childs father might try and say that since you are planning on adopting out that he wants to parent his child .... know what i mean? I had thought of that as an option while pregnant once and was told that here where i live if i were to place my child for adoption the father of the baby could challange my proceedings and file for custody.... and that wasnt what i wanted ... but i think before you go through with that I would discuss the legalities with a lawyer . Good luck with everything

I wouldn't choose adoption if you are still wanting to be in your daughters life. I would go with temporary custody. Adoption is so permanent. 3 years from now you could be completely stable, on your feet and making a decent income. You could even possibly find a wonderful man in the future who loves you and wants to be there for you and your daughter. Once you choose adoption you can't undo it...

Quoting Chelsea *Team Blue*:“ I wouldn't choose adoption if you are still wanting to be in your daughters life. I would go with temporary ... [snip!] ... man in the future who loves you and wants to be there for you and your daughter. Once you choose adoption you can't undo it...”

thats true. im so scared of everything. i cant function anymore. i dont want her dad to take her. hes less stable then me and maybe i should do temporary custody. but i havent talkeed to the lawyer myself so i should probably do that. i just want whats best for her. and honestly at this point i dont know what that is.

Quoting Maggie Maes MaMa:“ thats true. im so scared of everything. i cant function anymore. i dont want her dad to take her. hes ... [snip!] ... myself so i should probably do that. i just want whats best for her. and honestly at this point i dont know what that is.”

My best advice would be to go talk to lawyer and see what your options are. Then write down the pros and cons of your different choices and make the decision that you can live with and be happy with. You will know what is best for you and your daughter when the time comes.

Quoting mommyluvbug *Wazhushk*:“ is she offering this as an option to avoid the custody battle? Im just wondering about the laws where ... [snip!] ... wanted ... but i think before you go through with that I would discuss the legalities with a lawyer . Good luck with everything”

i think he can challenge it and it scares me to death . i am just so frightned. ugh. i knew having a kid would be hard and time consuming but i never expected having to live in fear of her father everyday. i just want a family and stability. but doesnt everyone. echk. im so stuck . lol

Quoting Chelsea *Team Blue*:“ My best advice would be to go talk to lawyer and see what your options are. Then write down the pros ... [snip!] ... decision that you can live with and be happy with. You will know what is best for you and your daughter when the time comes.”

thank you so much for the advice i think thats exactly what i will do.
your an angel seriously ive been stuck for months. my brains been in such a fog.

Quoting Maggie Maes MaMa:“ thank you so much for the advice i think thats exactly what i will do. your an angel seriously ive been stuck for months. my brains been in such a fog.”

I have found that when you take a step back and look at everything you can see things more clearly. Sometimes having someone else give you new ideas will give you a different perspective on the situation. Best of luck to you and your little girl  

Quoting Chelsea *Team Blue*:“ I have found that when you take a step back and look at everything you can see things more clearly. ... [snip!] ... else give you new ideas will give you a different perspective on the situation. Best of luck to you and your little girl  ”

thank you so much really
you dont know how much its helped.

Quoting Maggie Maes MaMa:“ i think he can challenge it and it scares me to death . i am just so frightned. ugh. i knew having a ... [snip!] ... having to live in fear of her father everyday. i just want a family and stability. but doesnt everyone. echk. im so stuck . lol”

what i would do is get your options on paper and talk with the lawyer .... and do it without your mom present .... it sorta sounds like she may manipulate the situation and its better that you make this decision based on the options and not what your mom thinks is best .... that may cause you to regret your choice later on. And just wondering but you are fearful of your ex .. what did he do to make you feel this way? Is it possible to add that to the custody proceedings.... Like is he a drug addict or something? Has he got a history of violence? etc

Quoting mommyluvbug *Wazhushk*:“ what i would do is get your options on paper and talk with the lawyer .... and do it without your ... [snip!] ... to add that to the custody proceedings.... Like is he a drug addict or something? Has he got a history of violence? etc”

he almost broke my neck. and yea he does drugs and drinks all the time.
he beat me severly when we were together. but theres no proof because i always covered it up. i know i sound like an idiot but i..... idk i thought he loved me.
echk i just dont know me and my mom talked the adoption thing out.so we have that all worked out and im not doing it we are looking more into temporary custody so i can get my GED and work on college.