re: Inside The Abortion Clinic

I'm about to be a mother of 2. My first and only abortion was in Nov. of 2006, and it was the worst experience of my life. I've been pregnant all the three times by the same man, who is now my husband. We now have a beautiful family and love each other very much, but things were different back then. The abortion was his idea, he made me go with his dad to the clinic, since his dad was paying for it. Either way, I was alone. There are so many things that they don't tell you. I kept the ultrasound picture that they gave me a copy of for a long time, but after several moves, it got lost. I never wanted to go through with the procedure, but I knew at the time that there were too many problems in my life that could forever effect the baby. I was on hard drugs, no job, no place to live, no money, no vehicle, basicly living on the streets. He promised me that after the procedure he would be there for me. But he wasn't. I spent the holidays by myself, crying myself to sleep at night, staying at a friends house. He came around twice. Then got back with his ex. I hated myself and him. We didn't speak for almost two years. When we finally started talking again, it was hard at first. I tried to commit suicide by laying on the train tracks, he saved my life by seconds. I think that night was finally what made hime realize what I had been going through. I was empty and didn't care about anything but drugs and alcohol. To this day, it is hard for him to talk about the choices that were made in 2006. He will break down and cry. I have forgiven myself and him, but I still have the regret, in the back of my mind and in my heart. There are so many things that I would have done differently. This forum actually made my break down and cry. But life is wonderful now, with my second little girl on the way. I know that because of the choice we made then, I'm a better person, mother and wife than I ever could have been.

Wow everything you said was exactly the same thing that I went through, except for the vacuum part. They started the procedure by giving me 5 shots down there for numbing. That part was the only pain I felt. They proceeded to use a turkey baster looking tool to suck the baby out. I could feel the baby leaving my stomach and they threw it in the trash right in front of me  I was traumatized. In the recovery room I promised myself I would never do that again. My only reasoning for going was because I was 16 and my bf at the time and I had agreed we couldn't take care of a baby. Ill always remember that day and I still have my sonogram. I do not treat it as birth control and have no respect for people who can go without any sense of guilt. That was my baby and I knew I couldn't provide a good life for it so I made a very difficult choice. Anyone willing to do this really needs to think about their decision first and why they are doing it.
I am now 15 weeks pregnant at 19. I know I'm young and it will be hard, but I'm keeping my promise to myself and keeping my baby.

Quoting uhleasha:" I am SO glad I came across this. I had an abortion in june of 2011. Long story short I was on the pill ... [snip!] ... with it other than asking my boyfriend for a baby every single day (which is impossible since my mom got me the Mirena) Thanks!"

I got pregnant on Mirena as well, so be careful.... it sucked because I then miscarried.

Thanks for sharing your story and so sorry for all you had to go through, its very tough.

Quoting Zoe Obregon:" Wow everything you said was exactly the same thing that I went through, except for the vacuum part. They ... [snip!] ... am now 15 weeks pregnant at 19. I know I'm young and it will be hard, but I'm keeping my promise to myself and keeping my baby."

Thanks for sharing your story and congrats on this current pregnancy! It is very hard being a young parent....but if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything! Good luck to you!

Quoting Misty West:" I'm about to be a mother of 2. My first and only abortion was in Nov. of 2006, and it was the worst experience ... [snip!] ... on the way. I know that because of the choice we made then, I'm a better person, mother and wife than I ever could have been."

Thanks for sharing your story as well! I can relate with you in many ways....and abortion is never easy and it stays in our minds and hearts forever. I am glad that things are going good for you now and hope it all stays that way! Congrats on everything!  

Quoting ♔Elise™:" Edited to Add on 11-30-09:**This is one of the most read threads inside the "Abortion Survivors" thread. ... [snip!] ... me share my story, I hope this story will help other women to research what you decide to do, before you do it. I wish I had."

my story is quite similar to yours. basically to a T. i was also alert through mine...the most horrible experience of my life, and the most painful. when it was over, i almost passed out and threw up. i would NEVER consider this option again, i guess before you go in to have it done, you kind of block your emotions, dont let yourself feel sad, or sorry, because you know that this is something you HAVE to do. for me, i did it because i couldnt handle another child, being a single mom to two children, my daughter was only 1 1/2, and i was struggling with problems of my own, but if i could have seen what i went through, through someone elses eyes, i wouldnt have thought twice about not having it done, i'd never do it. i think about it ALL the time, they don't "inform" you of the things you go through when its over, the feelings and emotions, oh, but they hand you a card with a number on it "just in case"...bullsmurf! i honestly think you should have to go through some type of couseling to even be able to do the procedure.. anyways, thank you for sharing.. something like this could really help people when it comes to making these decisions.

You can't be negative about abortion at all inside the AS forum or you'll be modded.

Reading these stories brings me to tears. I've never had an abortion, and personally am pro-life, but I don't condemn anyone for having one. From these stories, it seems like the act itself is enough guilt for a regular person, which is why I don't believe the protestors should be outside or people should be looked down upon. Honestly, with my first pregnancy I went to an abortion clinic. I had just turned 19, was in my parents' house (my dad is a preacher!), and was in school. I would cry and cry while I debated over the decision, and would call the clinic and hang up. I had to listen to "friends'" pep talks just to work up enough courage. I just knew I couldn't be another statistic, a teen pregnancy, especially in my dad's house, and yet I felt so ashamed because I felt like the baby could know and feel what I was thinking. I always pictured the baby saying "why mommy?" like those pictures people always show on the internet and crap, and that would send me into a crying fit. I finally worked up the nerve to go, had my play "brother" take me, and paid them the intial 80 or 120 or whatever it was (the total cost was like 305). All the nurses were nice and since it wasn't an actual abortion day no one was outside (or in) the clinic. (it also serves as a women's clinic on the days they dont do the procedures). I had my mind and my money set to do it, but while she gave me an ultrasound something (I'd like to think it was God) told me to look. I asked to see the screen and although she looked at me REAL crazy she let me see, and in that second I fell in love. I continued with the appt and made arrangements for my next one, but in my heart I knew I wasn't going to go through with it and from that day on I never thought about it again.
A short time later I ended up losing my daughter and in my depressed time I used to think it would've been easier to just "get rid" of her then with no emotions attached and not even a picture for my memory. But now, after counseling and being in my right mind, I wouldn't give up those 5 months with my daughter for anything. I don't regret one bit going to the clinic, or paying them my money because it was what I needed. I don't know about other places but the one I went to doesn't show you the baby, and sometimes I wonder if maybe they did, how many lives they'd save. I have a couple friends who had late LATE abortions, but for the most part, I don't know too many others who can look right at their child, something they made and go through with it.
So thank you ladies for sharing your stories, and I hope they'll make some people think. If not make them change their mind altogether, at least cause them to consider what they're doing from another perspective...

Quoting Kelsey Green:" Reading these stories brings me to tears. I've never had an abortion, and personally am pro-life, but ... [snip!] ... If not make them change their mind altogether, at least cause them to consider what they're doing from another perspective... "

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. It must have been really difficult.

congrats on your current pregnancy though. Hope all goes well.

Quoting dream:" I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. It must have been really difficult. congrats on your current pregnancy though. Hope all goes well."

Thanks a lot  

Quoting dream:" I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. It must have been really difficult. congrats on your current pregnancy though. Hope all goes well."

and congrats to you as well! You're due pretty soon! It's May today! Does the five mean you have 5 babies??? Or am I reading it wrong..

Quoting Kelsey Green:" and congrats to you as well! You're due pretty soon! It's May today! Does the five mean you have 5 babies??? Or am I reading it wrong.."

yes, it means 5 babies, but it's just an inside joke and I never changed it back. I'm just having one.   My Csec is in 6 days!

Quoting dream:" yes, it means 5 babies, but it's just an inside joke and I never changed it back. I'm just having one.   My Csec is in 6 days!"

Oh okay because I was going to pray extra hard for you tonight!! lol With 5 babies at once plus one, you'd need to win the lottery or something. Are you excited? Have you had a c-section before?

Quoting Kelsey Green:" Oh okay because I was going to pray extra hard for you tonight!! lol With 5 babies at once plus one, you'd need to win the lottery or something. Are you excited? Have you had a c-section before?"

yes, my first was a Csec because he was breech. i requested another Csec this time. yes, I'm excited to get this baby out! =D