Teaching your child about the dangers of the world

I am having trouble with this issue.

When I was younger I went to school in Staten Island, NY where the schools and teachers were very progressive. They had several lessons about strangers and how to handle a dangerous "stranger" situation. For example, if a stranger were to pull you toward their car to take you away, you were to scream at the top of your lungs. Never answer the door if your parent is in the shower, because a bad person could sweep you away. Never tell a stranger on the phone if you're alone in the house. Never eat anything (like candy) that a stranger offers you.

You get the idea. Anyway, all of this stranger talk is very useful and good info to have, but it SCARED the living crap out of me as a kid. I wanted to know why a stranger would want to steal me, what might they do, etc. I asked a lot of questions and my teachers and parents were pretty honest about it.

Talk about nightmares.

Now I'm wondering if all the stranger talk was really necessary. I haven't pushed it on my children. I don't want them to develop unsafe feelings about the world yet, even though the world can be a dangerous place. They know basic safety rules...look both ways before you cross the street (while holding mom's hand,) don't ever walk away where mom or dad cannot see you b/c you could get lost, etc.

But as far as predators, I haven't addressed this yet OTHER than to stress to them that their body is their own and if someone were to ever try to touch them in a way that feels wrong, they are to scream "no."

I'm unsure how to proceed with this. I don't want them to be unprepared for a dangerous situation, but at the same time, I don't want to introduce ugly morbid scary thoughts into their minds, kwim?

How do you/will you approach this topic with your children?

I wouldn't want to make my child paranoid. But I will probably just tell him about strangers and let him learn everything else for himself.

Quoting EmmaGrace:“ I am having trouble with this issue. When I was younger I went to school in Staten Island, NY where ... [snip!] ... to introduce ugly morbid scary thoughts into their minds, kwim? How do you/will you approach this topic with your children?”

To be honest, I have thought about this in great detail. I want to role play with them...without them knowing it isn't real.
Set them up basically to see what they'll do. Of course this will be years from now.
Then, discuss in detail what they did right or wrong & why we are so adament about their reaction.

I've had the talk with my son and he has even taught him how to defend himself from someone trying to take or hurt him. He's not paranoid about it, he's still a child. I just want to make sure he is safe and things like that save a childs life.

I would tell them the ones that are applicable now, and as time progresses, elaborate more.

Like, right now you don't have to tell them about not telling strangers that they're alone in the house, because right now, they're never left alone.

Give as little information as possible. Too much, and they won't retain the knowledge. Do tell them why though. About the candy, say it's not the same candy that Mommy, Daddy, family, and friends of the family give, and itwillmake them sick.

I use tv programs or specials. When something comes up on tv we talk about it. Every show has some kind of episode about kidnapping or abuse. Even Full House.
As far as stranger danger I took my kids outside and taught them how to yell and kick. I made them scream I dont know you your not my mommy/daddy. I made them scream and kick. They thought it was funny. Watch your facial expressions. Make it about empowering them and not scaring them. I use lots of what ifs. What if a policemen said I need you to come with me your mommy got hurt? What if? I use a lot of high fives too. My youngest is 7 and we have been doing this for years. It can be weird at first but my kids got into it pretty quick.

Well do they watch TV, I mean it scared the crap outta me too. Haha. Not going to lie when i was really little i didn't like leaving the house with out my mommy. Lol. butI mean its something you grow up knowing about. You see it in movies and TV shows maby next time it comes up in a show or on the news ask them "Do you know that to do if that happens?" See what they say.

I dont push the "Stranger Danger" issue on the kids unless the opportunity presents itself. For example, I was watching Dateline NBC's To Catch a Preditor.....and my two oldest boys came in the room to see what I was doing and we talked about it a bit.

Another time in the grocery store, I turned around and my 6 yr old daughter was gone out of sight and I found her looking at something away from me......thats when I took the time to explain strangers/dangers etc with her.....but I dont push it much past that.

The only thing I have told my son is that if someone is trying to take you to scream , fight do everything you can. Last year locally there was a man that tried to take a little boy. And the only thing that stopped him was the boy kicking, screaming, and struggling. It brought attention to him and the man ran off. There are too many sickos out there

Quoting lovemysailor:“ I use tv programs or specials. When something comes up on tv we talk about it. Every show has some kind ... [snip!] ... too. My youngest is 7 and we have been doing this for years. It can be weird at first but my kids got into it pretty quick.”

Had to comment on the what if some on tells you they need you to come with them. Haha.If someone ever said that tell your child a pasword like Tiki Bird or something irrelevant and if some one approaches you child have your child ask whats the code word.That way they'd know if something really did happened to mommy or daddy the person would know the pasword. and if not then they should run to a police offecer or a chashire at a store. and that they're not there to help..My parents did it with me and my brothers.

Im not sure yet. But I think the paranoid thing is kind of a good thing in a sense. Unless, someone gets really scared Im not sure they will learn. Thats just what worked with me, im not sure if I will do it with Trace.

You can tell me something 100 times and I wont really learn until it happens to me or until I get really scared, or something strikes a nerve - then I remember.

Im still scared. I live in base housing and still always lock doors and never take my hand off Trace or his carseat when we are out. I never even turn my back away from him. It is a shitty world - yeah there is a lot of good but there is a lot of shitty too. Especially when they warned us here in the hospital to be careful because people kidnap babies and take them across the border.  

Quoting ~*~Mummy2Be~*~:“ Had to comment on the what if some on tells you they need you to come with them. Haha.If someone ever ... [snip!] ... to a police offecer or a chashire at a store. and that they're not there to help..My parents did it with me and my brothers.”

we did that too. our "password" was little bear. ahaha

Quoting EmmaGrace:“ I am having trouble with this issue. When I was younger I went to school in Staten Island, NY where ... [snip!] ... to introduce ugly morbid scary thoughts into their minds, kwim? How do you/will you approach this topic with your children?”

I didn't have the same reaction to stranger danger that you did. My parents, school, and television would always mention this. I didn't know what strangers would do but that they were bad and I wouldn't see my family again. Maybe just explain it that way. You don't have to tell them about murder and molesting. It became very real and I understood though when Amber Haggerman was abducted and murdered that happened just a few blocks from where I grew up and she was in Girl Scouts with a bunch of girls I went to school with.

While out with my cousin, and her 4 year old yesterday, a bum approached her daughter, and traded her milk, for a candy bar. Now, obviously, we freaked out, after the bum went away, and threw away the candy bar, but her daughter had an absolute shit fit about not getting to eat her candy. My cousin is constantly talking to her about "stranger danger" only problem is she introduces herself to everyone, so they are no longer strangers in her mind. There was something online that I had read about this show that you sign up for to see how well your kids know about stranger saftey, like they approach your house while your in the shower, ask if they can come in, if mommy or daddy is home,ect..
times are dangerous sadly, you never know who to trust..
Our next door neighbors sadly are both deaf lol, so if anything where to happen, and I screamed till my lungs exploded, it would do no good lol

Quoting ~*~Mummy2Be~*~:“ Had to comment on the what if some on tells you they need you to come with them. Haha.If someone ever ... [snip!] ... to a police offecer or a chashire at a store. and that they're not there to help..My parents did it with me and my brothers.”

Yeah thats what we have done too. I think giving kids knowledge gives them power.