Ok, so me and my BD were having a conversation this morning on our way to work about how after the baby is born, I would have to be watching his son (4 years) andour daughter (newborn) when he goes back to school...I don't have a problem with that, it's just that his baby's mother doesn't work and never wants to keep her son for more than a day...Like now, by me being 35 weeks, I don't think it is fair that I have to watch his son on my off day while his mom is out doing God knows what when I could be getting some sleep and getting things done that I need to have done...I asked him what about his mom, what is she gonna be doing? And he's like she's not shit, I can't depend on her...You wanted to have this baby, so when I'm at school you're gonna be having Justin and the baby...He's like when you got with me, you have to deal with me and my son...I understand all of that, I just feel like I shouldn't be obligated to take care of your son when he has a mom that is capable of doing so...This is my 1st child and sometimes his son can be a handful, not alone take care of a newborn as well....
I hope this makes sense and would like your input on this matter....Because sometimes he makes it seem like I'll be doing this on my own, which I have no problem with...I can just get my own place and take care of my own child

not to sound like im bitching at you. but wouldnt it be the same as if you guys had 2 kids??? i mean I had my son and my 3 year old by myself the day i came home from the hospital.

hmm.. i can see your point, it's a little rediculous for him to try to put a 4 year old on your shoulders while you are trying to care for not only a newborn, but your first child. he should be willing to help out and not be such an asshole and let his son go stay with his mom for alittle while,especially when the baby first comes because i'm sure it'll be ruff.

I would defenetely be mad, I would tell him "look I know what I got myself into when I got with you but that doens't make me a babysitter in anyway, I love your son but I just can't deal with it right now, specially since he has a mother that is able to take care of him......and if you don't like it there is the door"


well you don't have to say there is the door but you get the idea

I would love it if my stepson lived with us all the time, his mom is a bitch and doesn't let him come over (convinces him he doesn't want to come over). We haven't seen him for over a month, and aren't even sure if we are going to see him at all over the holidays.

Quoting Karen Zuniga♥:“ I would defenetely be mad, I would tell him "look I know what I got myself into when I got with you but ... [snip!] ... of him......and if you don't like it there is the door" well you don't have to say there is the door but you get the idea”

LOL...yeah..
Thanks...I'm glad some people see it my way, cuz I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just being realistic

well ive been in that position before...and truthfully, i ended up loving my ex's little girls so much, that i would rather them be with me, someone who wants them, then with the mother because she didnt really seem like she wanted them anyways...she was always dropping them off with us to go to the club or hang out with friends...and i didnt want the girls to feel like they werent wanted, so i took care of them all the time....now its not fair that ur about to have a newborn and thats hard enough, but it'll work itself out...

Quoting call me Reese:“ Ok, so me and my BD were having a conversation this morning on our way to work about how after the baby ... [snip!] ... like I'll be doing this on my own, which I have no problem with...I can just get my own place and take care of my own child”

wait wait wait, hes missing the point.... its not that youre not willing to help him when its HIS time to have Justin, its that you dont want to do HER share!!! he needs to understand the difference.... youre willing to help him, not her, and thats fair. yes, you knew she was worthless initially and you were willing to pick up some slack, but right now, you shouldnt be carrying the majority of the burden (im not calling Justin a burden, just the responsibility of a young child when youre SO pregnant). he should pick it up for now, and you jsut know once your little one is a few weeks, youre going to be mommy to both......
if that doesnt work, well, then, go and be on your own if its better for you and baby!!!

Does he have pretty much full custody of his son?

Sounds like he has total responsibility of him, so therefore you knew this going in to the relationship. He just needs to help you out with him more since you are getting ready to have your baby. It's like you took on two (your boyfriend and his child) when you took on this relationship. His child is not going anywhere it seems like so if you stay in this relationship you have to get use to his son too. I know it seems like a lot, but it will work out.

well sweetie...your man and his kid are a package deal. My husband's ex is the same way...my step son lives with us and if she takes him on HER weekend it's a damn miracle! Kids should not be looked at as a burden and if you're gonna stay with this guy then you are commiting to be this child's mother as well...if you can't then you shouldn't be with this guy. That poor kid needs you if his mom is worthless and you're sounding selfish by not wanting to take care of him....he is only a child and he needs you...this is motherhood there are no breaks! sorry to be the bearer of bad news...

Quoting BRITT + baby girl:“ hmm.. i can see your point, it's a little rediculous for him to try to put a 4 year old on your shoulders ... [snip!] ... and let his son go stay with his mom for alittle while,especially when the baby first comes because i'm sure it'll be ruff.”

Yeah, I just wish that he would put his foot down sometimes and not let her walk all over him

Quoting Alysa:“ well ive been in that position before...and truthfully, i ended up loving my ex's little girls so much, ... [snip!] ... of them all the time....now its not fair that ur about to have a newborn and thats hard enough, but it'll work itself out...”

Thanks...

Quoting Expecting Harlow Skye:“ well sweetie...your man and his kid are a package deal. My husband's ex is the same way...my step son ... [snip!] ... of him....he is only a child and he needs you...this is motherhood there are no breaks! sorry to be the bearer of bad news...”

 

Quoting having a GEMINI baby!!:“ wait wait wait, hes missing the point.... its not that youre not willing to help him when its HIS ... [snip!] ... going to be mommy to both...... if that doesnt work, well, then, go and be on your own if its better for you and baby!!!”

Exactly....That's exactly what I'm trying to say to him...