re: Abuse and Depression Support

Quoting In love!!!:“ I've been meaning to write in thisthread for a while already but just decided to do so. My name is ... [snip!] ... it. He started threatening that he felt like killing everyone in the house. I am terrified and I don't know what I should do.”

Thats horrible. You shouldnt live in fear. It took me a long time to leave my babies father but i did because i was so afraid that my son would be his next target and because i couldnt take the abuse. You should truly find your inner strength and leave him. and if its hard for you on your own family support deffinitly helps. goodluck.

I didn't know this thread existed, I'm always on this site, so I guess it's time to let it out....  

I got with my boyfriend when I was 16. On March 21st, 2008. Everything was SOOO good, we had a lot in common, but still he wasn't like anyone I have ever met. He made me smile, made my heart flutter and I hadn't had a REAL boyfriend ever, I considered him my first. We dated a few months, before we started having sex. And in August I got pregnant.   Things changed, I moved in with him and I was extremely moody and he would leave me at his house by myself, which was awkward and it upset me. So we'd argue all the time. And we argued so much that the arguements turned physical!! While I was pregnant. I started to pack my things and try to leave, but he just kept punching me and and I started to bleed from my ear!! I was about to pass out as I walked down the street with my bags looking for help and he chased me!! Yelling at me and calling me a whore and what not, hitting me in the side of my head. His brother finally came to stop him and took me back to his house to treat me. My finger had been injured during the fight and I went to the hospital...and lied about what happened. :/ And went back to him. He said it would never happen again, but he lied. It did. A few more times. Finally our child is born and I think all is well, he won't hit me in front of my own child will he? But he recenty has. About 2 weeks ago. My lip was swollen, I had a huge bump on my head and my baby girl was crying at the top of her lungs. I told him I was staying, but I lied. I'm currently trying to get my daughters birth certificate so that I can move out of the state with a family member. I'm really tired of being his punching bag. He treated me like shit throughout my pregnancy. I'm tired of faking a smile and pretending everything is ok. I'm 17, with a child, but I do NOT deserve this. No woman does. He just doesn't understand.

My ex husband abused me mentally,pysically and emotionally.He dragged me through hell,i met him when i was 16,he was 19,we found out i was pregnant at 17 when he hid my pills and i was young not thinking i would get pregnant.we got married at 18 and we had our daughter.he was too busy spending time at work,gym,or out with friends and was never really ther for us.After two years of being together he first hit me,i had no idea at the time that he was taking cocaine and that I would be his punchbag for his moodswings.He chased me around my area where I used to live for four hours one xmas morning,kicking me too the ground he gave me broken ribs,black eyes,burst ear drums,my finger nails were bleeding where I had attemted to scratch him in the face as defence,i gave up and litrilly played dead,coverd in mud in a field,he took my fone and smashed it so i couldnt call anyone,some guys drove past and didnt help,no one helped and so many people turned a blind eye,i managed to run to my mums where she found me in tears,with no energy slumped on her doorstep,we rang the police and proceedings began.stupidly because i was at the stage where most girls/women are where you dont think its ''that bad'' and ''you still love them'' ect i took him back and after that it was when our daughter was conceived.he didnt hit me again for a while,just emotionally controlled me,making me think i was a nut case,controlling my money and slagging of my friends so ild hate them and lose contact with them.I became distant from family also,having no one to turn too.the charges against him were dropped,i really thought he would change.During my pregnancy he flaunted himself to other women while i was just 17 and alone,pregnant but working full time.I found txts of other women on his phone ect and I slowly started to wise up to what he was really like.I over heard his friends bragging about what they got up to on nights out taking drugs ect and I started to understand why he wa slike the way he was.He pushed me and hit me once whilst i was pregnant ,then he stormed out the house like i was in the wrong...i actually believed it was me.I sufferd massive knocks to my confidence and had regular panick attacks which bought on my asthma.he would be nice tell me not to cry ect act like he cared and then it would turn again and he would be nasty.I had my own wages which i was saving for when the baby was born and at the time i was living with my dad where my now ex was welcome.after my daughter was born he treated me like s***.he loved the fact i had lost contact with alot of people i once knew and was ''stuck'' in a new house,new neighbourhood with little money and a new baby that took up all my time.I wasnt working as i was bringing up my child (he loved this) he never payed bills and bought baby things,it was all me on my own.he put me through 4 years of hell in that relationship.he beat me infront of my daughter which 5 years later she stil remembers,he locked me in my room nailing the door shut,cuttin my phone line,smashing up my mobile and snapping in half my bank cards,he even kidnapped my daughter a number of times.Enough was enough,i was so drained,lost so much weight and had so much love for my baby,I woke up one morning and LUCKILY something clicked.I didnt need him,im not happy and i can be happy.so i rang my mum telling her everything,she came round straight away and helped me pack his things to take to his parents house.I rang him and said iv had enough,dont come home,go to your dads,your not welcome and were not together anymore!! I was terrified knowing things would ger worse before they get better...will he kick my door in....will he hunt me down...will he hurt us again? luckily i had a massive support from family,i rang friends and told them why i havnt been in touch and they understood and were all ther to support me.He did for another four years still put me through hell,it came apparnt to me that hes mentally messed up and i couldnt believe i had put up with so much.my baby at the time i split up with him was one year old.since we split up he climed through my window when i was napping and kidnapped my daughter whilst she was having her nap,police where involved and were around my house several times a day.he kicked my door in,tried to kill me,threatend my whole family,stalked and harrased me and my friends.i managed to beg the courts for a life time restraining order and i went through a harrasment case where he was given 6 months in prison..he still didnt give up,he got out of prison and came straight to my house,police were called and he was once again arrested for breaking the restraining order..given...another 6 months in prison.he planted drugs in my house and my house was raided,he told police i was dealing drugs and social services were involved but wernt stupid ,i am a decent person with a beautifull child and a lovly home.thers so much more he did but its too much to write,iv already written a small essay lol hope you havnt all fell asleep reading this! i just wanted to show those who are going through this that ther is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel you just have to stay positive.I was tempted to kill myself but my child gave me strengh and now shes 5 years old Iv been with my NICE partner for four years ,were getting married and are expecting my 2nd (his 1st ) baby and im SO happy,we got a new house together so my ex couldnt find us and hes bought up my daughter,she knows she dosnt see her daddy because he wasnt nice to mummy,i dont slag him of to her or talk about him unless she brings it up,kids arnt stupid,they remember evrything,she stil has nightmares of the things she witnessed him doing to me but now shes a happy bouncy little girl expecting her brother or sister with a wonderful step daddy.I dont fear mt ex anymore and hes actually stayed away but i think thats only bcuz i moved house and he cant find me.Please ladies if your going through this the 1st thing you must do is admit its happening,its now happening to my sister and she cant see it and keeps saying the same things i did like 'he hasnt hit me yet so its ok'' but its NOT, abuse can happen in many ways not just by someone raping or hitting you,get help asap! and stay safe! sorry this is long,just wanted to share my story,if your not happy in a relationship you should get out of it,thers more to life and you deserve to be happy and ther ARE nice men out ther.My mum once said.''its a shame that you have to kiss a few toads before you finally meet your prince'' its so true   xx

Quoting Loving Life!:“ So this morning I had a strange number call me, it was an area code from my home state so I let it go ... [snip!] ... not have a grand for a plane ticket. What do i do? The nurse said she has blood on her brain, a fractured arm and broken leg. ”

  you need to keep on at the police who are dealing with it.In the UK we have groups and organisations that would help with moving costs when ther violance and someone needs to move house ect so just try everything,ther must be something! get a restraining order on his so he cant go anywere near your mum,if he takes no notice of it then he will be arrested.also spread the word and tell her neighbours if you can,get the word out that if hes seen hanging around,the police need to be called.hope your mums ok,stay strong x

Quoting jessimaye:“ sometimes i wish my babys daddy had more respect for me .. he reminds me a lot of my father when i was ... [snip!] ... around someone who is going to constantly put women down ... money, disrespect, and myspace seems to be our problems...”

huni your worth so much more then this! your so beautifull! hes so mean, putting you down like this is a type of emotional abuse.take no notice of it,its not right and you shouldnt have to put up with itthe fact he reminds you of your dad (iv had th esame problem where my ex was so like my dad) makes you feel like its ''normal'' bcuz thats what your used to. try and get some money together and talk to your friends and family ,tell them your plans and get ther support and then just leave or if the house is in your name,make him leave! call the police and explain your plans and situation,you shouldnt have to live in fear like this,its awful.I really hope everything gos ok for you huni,iv been in your situation and belive me they just get worse,i gave my ex sooooo many chances and it nearly landed me in my own grave.dont be like me who lets it get that far
xx

Quoting Mawmuh c::“ My boyfriend nearly pushed me to the ground a twice times about a month ago. I provoked him, but I didn't ... [snip!] ... hit by him though, but it's gotten close. Can't say I haven't tried to slap him in the face. Hands and fists have been raised.”

im glad you can see what hes doing is wrong bcuz most women dont see it as a problem and it takes time to hit home.however,you shouldnt have to be treated like this,if hes a short fuse he wont change,im speaking from experience.Any man that shows you this behaviour,should be your warning signs to get out of this relationship.He treated you so bad already.just be prepared and start saving for a rainy day,i cant imagin he will keep up this walking away to cool down ect and think of whats best for baby x

Quoting BGL-4-Life:“ I know hun. Work things out with you first and when you are ready then step up and take charge. Get ... [snip!] ... Get him back. Whats you have to do is focus on getting yourself better. You have to be better before your home can be perfect.”

I have to agree with this. i am going through a huge break up with a young man that has mentally and emotionally abused me for a year. Now i have to turn my life around to find me and then i can work on us or with someone else when i am ready. but it has been a tough road.

im gonna post something bc i been really depressed latley, the last 3 days, its been bad with my relationship with joe, all we do is fight, we want 2 different lives and i dont know what to do! i havnt eaten, i havnt moved much, yesterday i did drive around for 2 hours into like nothing! but im really hurt, that he doesnt wanna have sex with me again until we are married, im trying to make it work but i dont think i want to live this way, now hes out with his uncle and his uncle hates me so i know they are talking shit about me! yesterday he told me that he thought he wasnt stable enough for a relationship but then he was he doesnt even know what hes talking about! now i feel like im walking on glass everyday with him...im just thinking any day now!

Ok, so im thinking about going back to counseling. I think I need it. Recently I've been feeling down and the small things are really getting to me. I feel like I cant do anything right. I'm not working at the moment, Im having issues getting financial aid for school, Im having issues getting ahold of the unemployment office (so im having money issues), Im having issues with my family, etc. I am to a point where I dont know what to do. Almost every morning when I wake up, I wish I didn't. I wish I could go to sleep one night and not wake up the next morning. However, I have not had good experiences with counselling and on top of that I am thinking that I may actually need to go on anti-depressants but the last couple times I've been on them, they make me feel emotionally numb, so I'm afraid to go on them again. Anyone had good experiences with anti-depressants or counselling?

Quoting Can't Handle this Anymore:“ Ok, so im thinking about going back to counseling. I think I need it. Recently I've been feeling down ... [snip!] ... me feel emotionally numb, so I'm afraid to go on them again. Anyone had good experiences with anti-depressants or counselling?”

I've been doing both AND karate. It's been helping me TONS! I hope it all works out for you and you start feeling better really soon!

okay so we broke up a week and a half ago because I m tired of supporting him. Im all for helping with his bills and all but when he is jobless for 6 months of my pregnancy and I pay fr everything I get sorta pissed. I thought when Riley was born it would all get better that she would motivate him. but no. and when we would argue he would say horrible things like that he was gonna go sleep with some one else. and I told him that next time he said it he had to leave and he did ofcourse. so I broke up with him and kicked him out hoping he would get the picture. well he kept riley the other night and wanted to again butI couldnt go another night without her so I said he could stay downstairs with her for the night. Well we had an agreement that if we had started talking to anyone else that we would tell eachother so it wouldnt come as a shock or anything. well at 4 am I went to look for riley's bottles to see if any where down there and I saw he had new msgs. and I had sent him a mean one that I wanted to delete b4 he saw it. well when I looked there were txts from a girl telling her that his dick was really hard and shit like that. so i hate being used and lied to so i told him to leave. he got violent. shoved me across the kitchen and twisted my arms. I went and woke up my brother who made him leave right away because obviously I wasnt getting anywhere with him! Ugh I dont know what to do. I know I cant keep riley from him and dont want to go to court with him. Hell since I was 16 I have never been jobless. I have only had 2 jobs. I work fulltime at a bank and could totally support myself and riley. No drugs. minimum drinking but Its only when he watched her. so now there will be none of that. in 2 years he has had 6 jobs. works 2 days a week now. and does drink and do drugs. he wont have much luck in court but i still dont wanna do it to him me or ecspecially riley. but I dont want her around him alone beacuse of his temper. any advice? i just need someone to talk to!

Sorry its so long and not very puncuated. Venting a bit much!

Quoting D Marie.:“ I didn't know this thread existed, I'm always on this site, so I guess it's time to let it out....   ... [snip!] ... and pretending everything is ok. I'm 17, with a child, but I do NOT deserve this. No woman does. He just doesn't understand.”

mine hit me to when I was pregnant. I know he loves his daughter and i dont think he would ever hurt her like he has me but when he gets mad there is just no stopping him :[ def. dont let him find out what you are planning. you dont need that to happen to you again right before you get out of it! good luck momma!

Quoting Casey (OSB):“ I could really use some support right now. A couple of weeks ago I got into an altercation with my ... [snip!] ... He has no remorse, no feelings about it, nothing. I am so hurt and angry and don't know where to turn from here, ”

do your best to take further action about what he did. carefully tho so that it doesnt happen again. and if it doesnt seem to get better then your best bet it to get out of that relationship. once it starts it really doesnt stop :[ even if its months or years later. it will happen unfortunatly

Quoting Mawmuh c::“ My boyfriend nearly pushed me to the ground a twice times about a month ago. I provoked him, but I didn't ... [snip!] ... hit by him though, but it's gotten close. Can't say I haven't tried to slap him in the face. Hands and fists have been raised.”

I hope that it does get better for you and that he continues to walk away when he is mad. My ex went to a lil bit of anger management and it helped while he went but then got worse. he hadnt done anything in months and when I was pregnant it happened again. and since then i have been too scared to leave him. it used to be just yelling and squeezing me, then shoving, then hitting. they usually get worse. just be cautious and never underestimate him. good luck momma

Quoting Juicy Jones:“ First off I was upset at the time. I wrote my story of being molested and no one could even reply to ... [snip!] ... could even reply to what I had said it was here for 3days or 4. So yeah if this is what the thread is for....................”

im sorry dear. I couldnt find what you posted or I would talk to you about it. I just found this a few mins ago after me and my ex got into it :[