He's missing out... I feel awful (vent)

So, my fiance was a VMI cadet when I got pregnant. Since I will assume most of you don't know anything about VMI, it's Virginia Military Institute. And to remain a cadet at VMI, you cannot be married or father a child. So, in order to claim Jasmine as his own, he voluntarily left. Which was wonderful of him, I wasn't going to ask him to because I knew how much he loved VMI. I would have lied for him and said I didn't know who the baby's father was, just so he could have stayed.

Fast forward... his class just got their rings... Rings are a HUGE deal for cadets. From the time they breakout from the ratline, it's all they talk about. He and I have only talked about it once since he left, he was talking about how much he was going to miss about VMI.Missing the life, the camraderie, the honor, the pride. Missing Ring Figure and the Midwinter Formals and everything that he wanted to share with me, and how if he had gotten his class ring he would have given me the extra one to keep with me, blah blah blah.

I get on facebook and keep seeing all these pictures of our friends with their rings, and it makes me sick at my stomach. He hasn't once mentioned it. I know it hurts him, and I can't help but feel it's in a small way my fault. I know it's not all my fault, but... Still. I know how much it meant to him... He tells me our daughter is worth the tradeoff, which I completely agree with, but still. *sigh*

aw I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.. I would feel bad too  

My brother graduated from VMI.

You know,he could have let you lie for him..I think it's really stupid that cadets can't have wives or children.
I'm sorry he missed out on the rings and the school experience,but in the long run,.he didn't ask you to lie about him being the father and that is honorable.
And vmi is big on honor.

Aww, that's too bad. That's a tough one. But, it sounds like you have a great guy who has his priorities right!  

Quoting hellogoodbye:“ My brother graduated from VMI.”

Rah Virginia Mil  

Well I definitely dont know what to say to help make him feel better, that is a really tough situation. But you must have found a really great guy that would sacrifice something so important to him for you and your daughter.

OT - I obviously dont know anything about this VMI so it might be a silly question, but Why can't they be married or father children? That is an insane rule, IMO. It's kind of like becoming a nun for a guy.  

Quoting Jinger:“ Rah Virginia Mil  ”

 

Quoting MommaOfAngels~MJL:“ Well I definitely dont know what to say to help make him feel better, that is a really tough situation. ... [snip!] ... but Why can't they be married or father children? That is an insane rule, IMO. It's kind of like becoming a nun for a guy.  ”

Just one of those rules. *sigh* It didn't make sense to me either, but it's been that way since the school was founded. And to make it worse, it only ever happens like every 5-6 years that someone has to leave because of that. So he's known through the school and to the next several years as the dude who got the W&L chick pregnant. Wonderful. That makes me feel sooo much better.