In law troubles

Ok I know that I cannot be the only one in this situation, but I need to vent. My in laws are causing huge amounts of trouble on facts they totally made up. First off I had no idea that when a baby shower was thrown both side Mom's were supposed to attend, I'm not the one throwing the baby shower so it's not upto me to do the inviations but NOOOOOO now all of a sudden because she wasn't invited I don't like her. Second they refuse to come visit ever and then make comments around never seeing the baby, if they would just be willing to visit us and not expect an 8 month pregnant woman to want to travel 3 hours each way they would see more of us. Our baby is due in December and they refuse, literally refuse to let me have Christmas here this year, they expect us to take our young young newborn out in that bad weather. I am so frustrated, and now my husband is all upset, am I being totally unreasonable because I feel like it should be a two way street on these things, argh argh argh is all I have to say

All I can say hun, is NOPE..you're not the only one!!!
In-laws can be a bitch!

I feel that you're right on this one. They're just making up excuses to be angry about, it's common for older people. They're already naturally bitter, so they desperately look for excuses so they don't feel guilty about it, lol. Their expectations for you are a bit high but don't fret, it's very common to have issues with in-laws.

Quoting Wk34-MyAzaleaJane:“ I feel that you're right on this one. They're just making up excuses to be angry about, it's common for ... [snip!] ... guilty about it, lol. Their expectations for you are a bit high but don't fret, it's very common to have issues with in-laws.”

Thanks it's always nice to know you're not the crazy one!

My mom and MIL are both throwing baby showers. My mom is throwing my baby shower on thanksgiving weekend and I invited my PIL to come out there. My hubby and I live with his parents in Utah so my MIL is throwing another shower here for her friends and because she wants to have a part in my pregnancy. That is fine by me and the more baby stuff the better. My SIL has turners syndrome and cannot have children so its my MIL only chance to take action and do what my mom is doing for me. I think it is unfair for you MIL to freak out about the baby shower invitation mix up. I would have lied to her and said oh they must have wrote the address  wrong or it got lost. That she is invited. As for her telling you what to do as far as christmas plans she needs to chill out. having a baby and taking care of a new baby is hard work and you get no sleep. I think its is absurd that she expects you guys to go to their house for christmas. Just tell her what is up and hopefully she is mature enough to understand where you are coming from. 

Quoting Marley's Mama:“ My mom and MIL are both throwing baby showers. My mom is throwing my baby shower on thanksgiving weekend ... [snip!] ... house for christmas. Just tell her what is up and hopefully she is mature enough to understand where you are coming from.”

I didn't even know both sides were supposed to go to everything. I thought each side had their own. As for Christmas, I tried the mature thing as did my husband to explain our logic etc etc, however no go so I said we'd be down sometime later as Christmas would now be our family thing and we would visit when the baby was strong enough, all in all I'm doing what I can just surprised that some people seem to grow old but not up and here I thought I was supposed to be the irrational one

Quoting FullofQuestions:“ I didn't even know both sides were supposed to go to everything. I thought each side had their own. As ... [snip!] ... I can just surprised that some people seem to grow old but not up and here I thought I was supposed to be the irrational one”

I am so untraditional and my MIL is very traditional so we jokingly argue about stuff but make compromises. I have no idea what the rules are for baby showers or weddings or godparents. My husband really wants his sister to be our babies godmother because she missed our wedding while away in Africa. She hates me so I am having a hard time with her being the babies godmother. I said yes because my mom told me who cares its not like we were big with the whole godparent thing. My mom also told me that I should be careful around my SIL when she gets back because she cannot have babies and just let her be the godmother. I have more of an issue with my SIL than my PIL so I am praying she does not start shit with me because I will make her look like a huge asshole. I think you should totally stick you ground and not give into your MIL ways. She is being a huge brat and needs to grow up and deal with the fact that she cannot control her sons every move anymore. 

Quoting Marley's Mama:“ I am so untraditional and my MIL is very traditional so we jokingly argue about stuff but make compromises. ... [snip!] ... She is being a huge brat and needs to grow up and deal with the fact that she cannot control her sons every move anymore.”

Thank you, thank you, thank you, my husband sometimes manages to make me feel like it's me being the brat so it's nice to have someone agree with me. As for your sister in law good luck with her, with her not being able to have kids I hope she doesn't spend all her time trying to be surrogate mother to yours, do you live close? Hopefully youll have enough distance between you too to make it manageable!

Quoting FullofQuestions:“ Thank you, thank you, thank you, my husband sometimes manages to make me feel like it's me being the ... [snip!] ... to be surrogate mother to yours, do you live close? Hopefully youll have enough distance between you too to make it manageable!”

Nope I live with my PIL and my SIL still lives at home. In fact our bedroom has a jack n jill bathroom to her room. So its gonna be crazy but I have no problem telling people to back off if they invade my personal space or area. She is so not aloud in the delivery room let alone the hospital. My mom, hubby and MIL are the only ones allowed. I do not want visitors in the hospital everyone can come see baby and me when we are at home where I am comfy and able to deal with people too.  Like I said if she starts shit I will just walk away and vent about it to my mom. then she will be the bad guy and wont have shit on me son LOL. You are so welcome, I swear that when I feel crazy and then someone tells me to chill out that I right or just tripping. 

Quoting Marley's Mama:“ Nope I live with my PIL and my SIL still lives at home. In fact our bedroom has a jack n jill bathroom ... [snip!] ... LOL. You are so welcome, I swear that when I feel crazy and then someone tells me to chill out that I right or just tripping.”

Man do I wish I had your guts, tell her where to shove her stupidness except I want to keep the peace with the Dad because my husband really loves his Dad so I keep quiet, but man oh man so I wish I was like you just tell em like it is, I love that!

Quoting FullofQuestions:“ Ok I know that I cannot be the only one in this situation, but I need to vent. My in laws are causing ... [snip!] ... totally unreasonable because I feel like it should be a two way street on these things, argh argh argh is all I have to say”

Hell no. my older sister did my baby shower and she didn't invite my mother in law. Thats not my fault. And I had the same problem with my MIL wanting me to take the baby to go see her once she is born. I told her she can come see the baby but I wasn't going up there. I wouldn't want my baby to get sick in the cold weather because of bad judgement on my part. She should respect you being a good mother and not taking the baby out. Not get mad at you. I finally talked to my husband and he told his mom we weren't taking her up there until she was a little older and the winter months were over, but that she was welcome to come down here and see her anytime she wanted.Things have been better since my hubby talked to his mom.

Quoting expectingagirl:“ Hell no. my older sister did my baby shower and she didn't invite my mother in law. Thats not my fault. ... [snip!] ... that she was welcome to come down here and see her anytime she wanted.Things have been better since my hubby talked to his mom.”

I'll try to get him to talk to her but he also tries to keep things from being stirred but yes I agree with you, I dont' want to put my baby at risk especially so new born and in those wintery dangerous driving months,, I'm so glad I'm not the only one and that other people have been through this, thank you so much, I feel so better knowing you guys have bene through this too!

Quoting FullofQuestions:“ I'll try to get him to talk to her but he also tries to keep things from being stirred but yes I agree ... [snip!] ... and that other people have been through this, thank you so much, I feel so better knowing you guys have bene through this too!”

lol after baby is born everyone wants a piece. lol but I won't risk it. My hubby likes to keep peace to thats why I had him tell his mom cuz he can make her see our point better than I can. lol she just automatically takes it as I have it in for her. but she wouldn't with him

Quoting FullofQuestions:“ Man do I wish I had your guts, tell her where to shove her stupidness except I want to keep the peace ... [snip!] ... my husband really loves his Dad so I keep quiet, but man oh man so I wish I was like you just tell em like it is, I love that!”

I keep peace where it needs to be kept but the moment someone steps over my boundaries I tell them. if they do it again I go off. Trust me it took years and shrink to help me tell people what is up. I use to let people walk all over me even friends so i fixed that and get and give respect. I told an asian lady and disney land to chill out because she was yelling at worker and she freaked out on me in front of my lil sister. i told her that disney land it the happiest place on earth and that she should leave because she is a grumpy gills and the people behind us were like "yeah" my little sister told her to stop yelling at me with her hands on hips like i do it was hilarious. If i wasnt at disney land I would have really gone off. I just do not care what people think of me after I give them a piece of my mind. I hate when people belittle other people in front of their kids that really grinds my gears. 

Quoting expectingagirl:“ lol after baby is born everyone wants a piece. lol but I won't risk it. My hubby likes to keep peace ... [snip!] ... her see our point better than I can. lol she just automatically takes it as I have it in for her. but she wouldn't with him”

Yes well no mater what m husband tells my MIL it's my fault, even if I have nothing to do with it, so really in the end I am nothing but the bad guy guess I should really stop caring eh since I can't make it right now matter what I do!
Oh I forgot to mention she also wants to go whitewater rafting in the springtime, baby will be 4 months old and can't understnad why I wouldn't want to go, she's like he'll be old enough to leave for the weekend then, aye