Since no one cared 10 minutes ago...

I'm just going to post this again because I could use some advice.

Okay, my SO and I have been married for over a year now. He joined the Army last April. He deploys in Early February, before Valentine's day to go to Babel. I know I'm definitely not the first go go through it, and not the last either.

Our son will be 8 months old when my husband leaves so of course it will be hard knowing that he will be missing out on a lot of bonding time and a lot of major milestones in Ayden's life. I go through my days trying not to think about it, because it scares me shitless knowing that there's a chance that when my husband leaves, that I'll never see him again, or he'll come back a different person. I know the war has eased up a lot, but I can't help but panic about it when it comes to my mind.

What will be even harder on me is knowing that my dad will have a grudge with me the whole year that I will be staying mith my in-laws in Dallas. My family wants me to stay with them...bottom line. Problem is, my parents struggle with money and paying the bills constantly. My mother is a homemaker and has too many health issues to have a job, and my dad is the only one who works.

They're in debt up to their eyeballs and my father still tries to pressure me to live with them during the deployment, but I just can't do that to my son. Now, I've explained that reason to my mother and she understands why I choose to stay with the in-laws, who can afford to let me live with them. She already watches my 2 year old niece at night and it's be too hard for a woman as frail as her to take care of two babies while I'm working full time...which I would have to do if staying with them. I can't let my son go without a mother half the time, he will already go a year without bonding with his daddy.

My father, on the other hand, is still too blind to see why I've made this decision. He tries to make me feel guilty because I live in Northern NY and he can't bond with his grandson, and with me living in Dallas, I he'll still never get to see the grandbaby. I've tried to explain that I will have a car and will only live 8 hours away, rather than be 20 hours away here in NY...I could visit them once a month or whatever. I can't get him to undersand that I don't want to struggle even more while my husband is away.

Anyone else been in my place? What do I do in this situation, and how do I get this shit through my dad's thick skull so he could understand like my mother does?

your avi scares me 

I don't know what to tell you but to do what is right for you and the baby

I have a backwards situation.  My inlaws moved to Vegas and wanted us to go with them.  We live in PA.  We told them no and they just whined and complained about how they won't see Nathan growing up and stuff.

All you can really do is just explain it to them enough and hope they get it eventually.

Quoting *Proud~Mommy*:“ your avi scares me ”

Okay...good. But that doesn't help my need for advice.

Quoting Kousei[NObama/Anti-McCain:“ I'm just going to post this again because I could use some advice. Okay, my SO and I have been married ... [snip!] ... do I do in this situation, and how do I get this shit through my dad's thick skull so he could understand like my mother does?”

Simply tell him that your going to your inlaws for your sons benefit and he can't see that then he's just being completely selfish. And if that doesn't work then do it anyways (meaning go to your in-laws) because it's what you want and if that makes you happy he'll eventually see that and if not then his lost. Like I said he's being selfish!

Quoting Kousei[NObama/Anti-McCain:“ Okay...good. But that doesn't help my need for advice.”

just chill out.......the only advice any military wife can give you is just to take it one day at a time.....your father may not understand but he will get over it.

Quoting Christina714:“ just chill out.......the only advice any military wife can give you is just to take it one day at a time.....your father may not understand but he will get over it.”

Oh, I'm chill.

I just didn't ask anyone if my avatar scares them.

People like you annoy (sp?) Me. Nobody wrote anything in ten min so iam gonna cry about it!!

P.S I have no advice for you

Gawd I feel bitchy

seriously???!!!

Quoting Pearly's mama:“ People like you annoy (sp?) Me. Nobody wrote anything in ten min so iam gonna cry about it!! P.S I have no advice for you Gawd I feel bitchy”

LOL...I just wanted advice...no one gave it before.

How does it annoy...to need advice at 2 o'clock in the morning when I can't sleep, and no one else is online to help me? Just curious.

Quoting Kousei[NObama/Anti-McCain:“ Oh, I'm chill. I just didn't ask anyone if my avatar scares them.”

you have to expect it though. its ridiculous.

Quoting anthonys mommy:“ you have to expect it though. its ridiculous.”

Ummm...yay?

Quoting Kousei[NObama/Anti-McCain:“ Ummm...yay?”

All i'm saying is a lot of people comment on your avi.

Quoting anthonys mommy:“ All i'm saying is a lot of people comment on your avi.”

I should change it to something even more ridiculous, eh?