disgusted **long ass vent**

I'm not the kind to look through mens phones,emails etc, but this morning I looked thru my husbands phone and found a text message from an ex from his last base....
something in me MADE me text her, and like find out what the deal is....we ended up talking to 5 hours....

she had no clue that he was married...or the fact that im 9 months pregnant.... she forwarded me all the emails they sent, text messages...and im truely disgusted that i married this man. She also told me about how they dated for about 6-7 months and he really hurt her, she ended up contacting his ex wife to kinda figure things out, (i did that today as well...) his ex wife was extremely nice and told me straight up "it isnt you, its him, hes messed up from his dad dying..." his ex wife had a miscarriage and he didnt even like care...

the girl who i was texting had told me that he calls her at like 9pm (on his way home from work) and then suddenly have to go "im hitting traffic" there is no traffic at 9pm here, hes pulling into the drive way... shes always like "call me back" and he tells her 'i have to be at work early.." really he just cant, im there... also she told me in the past 3 months hed call her and have like long talks with her and they even had phone sex a few times... (while i visiting my family!)

I havent confronted him yet, I really dont care for his excuses, i dont want to hear his arguement....and the sad thing is, is that I want to work on my marriage, I want things to work out...and i feel extremely guilty for bringing an innocent baby into this huge mess of a marriage....he doesnt deserve this shit...

Any advice? this has made me PHYSICALLY sick today...not only emotionally and mentally...

On a lovely girl like you? What an ass.  

sorry hon!!!!! dont have any advice for ya but i hope things get better....

seriously, we've only been married for 6-7 months...how the hell can he totally disregard our vows....and act like a fucking caveman?

Quoting jnazmom:“ On a lovely girl like you? What an ass.  ”

I agree.

Quoting prego && FIERCE:“ I'm not the kind to look through mens phones,emails etc, but this morning I looked thru my husbands phone ... [snip!] ... doesnt deserve this shit... Any advice? this has made me PHYSICALLY sick today...not only emotionally and mentally...”

No one can take shit because you want to work on your marriage. But he has to want to work on it too. If he's not going to do right by you, you may just have to be ready to let it go. For your own sake and the sake of your baby.

I will PM you with my phone number. You can call me anytime you need to talk. I went through something similiar when I was pregnant with my son with my ex husband and it was so hard so I feel for you and understand totally.

Men can be so stupid. THey cheat on the good ones- risk everything for what?

No advice- but sending virtual hugs your way. So sorry you're dealing with this.

he's an ass. hunny!you shouldn't take this.. he is not worth it.. you should fix this issue before it get worse. dont stress your self out.. you are in no positon to deal with this..

Quoting prego && FIERCE:“ seriously, we've only been married for 6-7 months...how the hell can he totally disregard our vows....and act like a fucking caveman?”

well i can tell you this just from experience.... i have been married for 9 years and things only get harder, if he is direspecting you this early into your marriage than i would definitely be cautious about him..........i know thats not what you want to hear about the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.....if i were you i would definitley have a long serious conversation with him...

Quoting prego && FIERCE:“ seriously, we've only been married for 6-7 months...how the hell can he totally disregard our vows....and act like a fucking caveman?”

Unfortunately hun, some men are just like that. And his ex wife was right - it's HIM. This has nothing to do with you.

i'm so sorry.. the only advise i have for you is "once a cheater always a cheater". it sounds like its happend to at least 2 other girls he was with. you need to confront him but dont let him just make up any excuse. Good Luck! you will have your baby soon enough and that will be all the love you will need.

Quoting momof2beautifulgirls:“ well i can tell you this just from experience.... i have been married for 9 years and things only get ... [snip!] ... wanted to spend the rest of your life with.....if i were you i would definitley have a long serious conversation with him...”

So true. I've been married for six years and at times it's hard and takes work.

wow.
im sorry you have to go through this.

i think you should confront him before you decide what you want to do.
you dont know how things will be after. i mean.. it CAN work... if he is willing.. but you dont know how he will react when he is confronted.

you say it isn't fair to bring an innocent baby into that... so you want to make it work.. but it isn't fair to bring a baby into a relationship w/ no trust. w/ no trust, IMO, you dont have much. it can turn into an obsession w/ trying to catch him doing something again.. that is how it was in my case that is. i became obesessed w/ catching him cheating on me again.. and that alone ruined any chances of our relationship ever surviving..

good luck hun. i hope things turn out for the better for you.

It seems like he was never really there when you said your vows. I don't think that this jerk respects you, his ex girlfriend, or his ex wife. If he's already acting like this now, then it just seems like he'd keep doing it and do more later on. The only advice that I can give you is to contact a lawyer and see what your options are.

Like the other mommies said, I don't see why he's doing this to you.

=( I'm really sorry that is happening in your life right now, you don't need do be dealing with bullshit like that. Nobody should have to deal with bullshit like that.

Have you talked to him yet? Although please avoid getting into a heated argument...ugh,I just want to kick his ass for you. You're 9 monthspregnant for christs sake!