Our wedding. I need input.

I'm still not sure if I want to get married. If we were to get married, there would be no getting a divorce because I don't believe in it. Also, my grandmother wouldn't be there to see me on my special day. A seat up in Heaven is just not good enough for me.

I've been thinking about it a lot and I've decided that if I were to get married, there would be a stand with pictures of my Grandma right next to where we get married, the alter. I'd also have the Preacher say a prayer that God is holding on to her and taking care of her. After we were to get married, the stand would go to the reception and I'd have the DJ or whatever play a special song I have picked out for her. Everyone would remain silent until the song is over.

Would that be over-doing it or taking away from the wedding? I just want everyone to take the time to respect her because when she died in the hospital, there was a lot of hostility and fighting. It wasn't fair to my Grandma and she didn't deserve that.

I've also picked out our first song to dance to, but I wont release it to anyone until that day, if it comes. We've picked out where we would like to get married and that's at a Conservatory at our Zoo. It's extremely beautiful and it's really not that expensive.

I've been looking at dresses lately and I found a lot of pretty dresses. I just don't want a plain white one. I found a white one with red sash and it's gorgeous, but it's not something I would wear. I want something that will make people's jaws drop or something no one has ever seen before.

We have all that covered but we need to look into catering, I have no idea how that works or how much it'll cost us. We also need to look into decorations, ugh. I'd probably make my own! Weddings cost way too damn much.

I guess we'll see. The time wouldn't come for awhile anyways. I just need your input on the whole Grandma thing. What I would like to do at our wedding for her.

i would just do the dj thing and say its for your grandma and maybe u guys could dance to it....but the alter thing seems like a lil to much she knows how much you care already....so just dancing for her would be great in my opinion

IMO it is your wedding and the only input that really matters should be from you and your hubby-2-be !

Quoting Jessica_Michelle:“ I'm still not sure if I want to get married. If we were to get married, there would be no getting a divorce ... [snip!] ... come for awhile anyways. I just need your input on the whole Grandma thing. What I would like to do at our wedding for her.”

i say do it! It sounds like she meant alot to you. It's your and you man's day, you should have it the way you want. I think it sounds lovely. Does you SO agree?

Was there a funeral for her, like a mass or anything?

I really don't think you wanna turn your wedding into a sad day, it's supposed to be the happiest day of your life! Try to celebrate her, not mourn her by praying for her & having a huge portrait of her everywhere you go.. I'm not trying to be mean, but it just sounds like you're mixing a wedding & a funeral together.. and I'm sure that's not what your Grandmother would want for you! She'd wanna see you happy & rejoicing in your marriage to the one you love! She wouldn't wanna see you crying all about her all day hun...

Put a rose in an empty seat/pew where she would be sitting on that special day, and the song at the reception isn't a bad idea.. but I wouldn't place a huge memorial (the picture) of her in the church or the reception.. Light a candle for her at the wedding if you chose to also..

My MIL was not alive when my hubby and I got married and we had planned to have a moment of silence before the ceremony started, in her honor and also for other family memembers and friends that have passed.
I think your idea during the ceremony is great..but having an aditional song during thereception might be a little much..you wouldn't be leaving your gma out or not remembering her by not having the song..

Best advice dont bother dealing with caterer's on your own save up some money wait a few years and go with a nice reception hall...Trust me I thought the best thing in the world was to hurry up and get married..but you find out that if you truely love someone it doesnt matter if your married or not...so just take your time..and save up for the wedding of your dreams

It's your wedding. But I think doing all those things is a little much. 

I had a candle lit with a small picture of my Grandmother at my wedding. 

You're wedding is a special day about you and you SO...  so be careful not to make it  into a memorial service. 

Quoting mamamimi:“ i say do it! It sounds like she meant alot to you. It's your and you man's day, you should have it the way you want. I think it sounds lovely. Does you SO agree?”

Yes, he agrees. He understands how much I miss her. She passed away 12 years ago and I still cannot find closure. He said that it would be a great idea but I don't want to over-do it, you know?

Quoting =_*Jocelyn's Mommy*_=:“ Was there a funeral for her, like a mass or anything? I really don't think you wanna turn your wedding ... [snip!] ... memorial (the picture) of her in the church or the reception.. Light a candle for her at the wedding if you chose to also..”

 

I think thats a great idea. It will give you a way of having your grandmother there even tho she isn't with you anymore. My cousin had a picture of his dad up at the front of the place where they got married. He died when my cousin was 8 or something. It was beautiful.

Quoting =_*Jocelyn's Mommy*_=:“ Was there a funeral for her, like a mass or anything? I really don't think you wanna turn your wedding ... [snip!] ... memorial (the picture) of her in the church or the reception.. Light a candle for her at the wedding if you chose to also..”

I like that idea with the rose where she would be seated. Great idea! Thank you.

Quoting OGPillowpants Chronic MOD:“ I think thats a great idea. It will give you a way of having your grandmother there even tho she isn't ... [snip!] ... of his dad up at the front of the place where they got married. He died when my cousin was 8 or something. It was beautiful.”

Yeah, I wouldn't cry during the song. It would actually make me smile knowing that I was making her happy and knowing that I was thinking of her. It's kind of like a wake-up call to my family also. To show them that I still care and that they need to also.

I think its up to you two. Its is your day. When my grandmother passed away in 2001 i wasnt able to be there to say good bye. So when my dad got married that summer my dad played a special song for her before him and my step-mom danced to their song. There wasnt a dry eye in the place. I was happy to see that people resected the whole this song is for my mom, she died earlier this year and this is for her. No one danced and no one talked. I think she smiled that day knowing we loved her very much.

I might put a picture somewhere in the chapel but not in the very front where you are getting married. My cousin's husband's mother passed when he was younger and there was a little mention of thank you for joining us in front of god and all of those who were watching in heaven or something like that. There was a mention of her as well in one of the speechs. I really think it would be going a bit overboard and may make your guest uncomfortable if they had to sit silently during a song dedicated to your grandmother. As somebody else posted maybe dance during it so they have something to watch if that is your plan.

Quoting Monica♥sMcKenzie:“ I might put a picture somewhere in the chapel but not in the very front where you are getting married. ... [snip!] ... to your grandmother. As somebody else posted maybe dance during it so they have something to watch if that is your plan.”

I agree and you said it much better than I could have.