re: Breastfeeding (the toddler years)

Please Help! My daughter is 26 months and still breastfeeding. My milk supply is very low and I'm pretty sure she's just pacifying because she only nurses to fall asleep at naptime and bedtime. We do cosleep. I am ready to wean. I'm getting to the point of it being frustrating and I'm not enjoying it anymore. She's starting to hurt me and pinching the other nipple. I need help on weaning techniques! I will not allow her to cry it out and I don't want to traumatized her but how do I even start? I know it can take months! I already tell her she's a big girl and doesn't need it anymore! She never took a paci and I've tried giving her a bottle instead! Nothing's worked! TIA!

Quoting Efrrnbbf:" Please Help! My daughter is 26 months and still breastfeeding. My milk supply is very low and I'm pretty ... [snip!] ... big girl and doesn't need it anymore! She never took a paci and I've tried giving her a bottle instead! Nothing's worked! TIA!"

I have a book called the "no cry sleep solution" which I think could help you since it sounds like you're mostly nursing her down to sleep. Just PM me and tell me your email address and I'll send it to you.

I used it to night wean my son. He still nurses during the day (I don't have a problem with it), but I needed to night wean him while I was pg. He used to nurse down to sleep for a LONG time, like 30 plus minutes, so I started by saying that we would just nurse "a little bit" and then "the milky goes bye bye at night". I timed it for 5 minutes and then said "I'm going to count to 10 and then we're all done". Sometimes, in the beginning, I would have to do that again a minute later. Then he could hold my hand or rub my arm or cuddle until he went to sleep.

Then I cut that down to 4 minutes, then 3 minutes, then eventually just the 10 seconds and then just holding my hand, etc. I also had one week where I was in the hospital (giving birth) when DH put him to sleep and then one month where I slept on the couch bed with the baby and DH put him to sleep. Now (the baby is 8m .. oldest is 34m), he holds my hand to go to sleep.

Quoting Lady Blumensh9:" Glad to see that there is a breastfeeding group for toddlers, though I'm not sure if I qualify just yet. ... [snip!] ... has already started with nursing Acrobatics. ;) Here's a picture of my nursling. Brookelynn Grace (This was December 28th) "

gorgeous little chunky monkey

Quoting Efrrnbbf:" Please Help! My daughter is 26 months and still breastfeeding. My milk supply is very low and I'm pretty ... [snip!] ... big girl and doesn't need it anymore! She never took a paci and I've tried giving her a bottle instead! Nothing's worked! TIA!"

something that helped with my son(until he tried peeling it off) was putting band aids on my nipples and telling him that momma's milk is all done and it's nigh night time. I would tell him that after night night, he could nurse again in the morning. (i don't know why italics came on and I don't know how to turn it off, haha!!)

I saw that on YouTube. She's so stubborn she will just rip them off and throw a tantrum. Mentally she is really like 3!she way to smart!

Quoting dream:" I have a book called the "no cry sleep solution" which I think could help you since it sounds like you're ... [snip!] ... on the couch bed with the baby and DH put him to sleep. Now (the baby is 8m .. oldest is 34m), he holds my hand to go to sleep."

I didn't do any of that, just let DS do things when he was ready and at the same age he went to sleep on his own or me tickling/stroking his back. Sometimes i think if you just wait till the child is ready you don't have to do any tricks or drawn out methods, it ends up happened at the same time anyway except without all the stress and effort (and sometimes upset). It's just something i see a lot of when a child is 2 and naturally nurses a lot due to all the cognitive spurts and they cut it out naturally the year after. I know every child is different though, and it's impossible to predict what would've happened if you did it another way  

Quoting Efrrnbbf:" I saw that on YouTube. She's so stubborn she will just rip them off and throw a tantrum. Mentally she is really like 3!she way to smart!"

Can you just tell her the truth, that nipple pinching hurts and there isn't much milk left. Then give her something else to play with in her hand, or hold her hand, and tell her when it's starting to hurt and you need to stop. I tell my son when there isn't enough milk left and that he can have some later when it's back again. Good nutrition and drinking plenty of water can help you with your milk aswel, it shouldn't be running out if she's still suckling. So if it's pain free for you it might not bother you anymore?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama*AtoZ:</b>" I didn't do any of that, just let DS do things when he was ready and at the same age he went to sleep ... [snip!] ... I know every child is different though, and it's impossible to predict what would've happened if you did it another way  "</blockquote>




This is our approach to most things... "deep breath, this too shall pass". Eventually they outgrow the need to be held, the need to nurse to sleep, the need to sleep near... We embrace it. and hubby & I remind each other of why we made the choices we made when it gets tough  

Quoting Efrrnbbf:" Please Help! My daughter is 26 months and still breastfeeding. My milk supply is very low and I'm pretty ... [snip!] ... big girl and doesn't need it anymore! She never took a paci and I've tried giving her a bottle instead! Nothing's worked! TIA!"

I had fun with extended nighttime nursing too, what helped me was to first transition my LO who was a little past 2 yrs into his own bed on the floor next to mine and then once he got used to that I moved him to his big brother's room. This helped reduce the frequency of nighttime nursing, it took quite a while before he stopped sneaking into my bed every night, but he took it at his own pace so it was more peaceful. I also started wearing t-shirts to bed so that he'd be more likely to give up on trying to nurse and just fall asleep next to me, unless of course he was actually hungry, lol, then even an iron bra wouldn't have stopped him, lol. Both my kids were extremely picky and difficult eaters thus it took a long time to night wean as they'd simply not eaten enough before bed. It was soo frustrating. My youngest took the longest to night wean and to wean, as he's still a brat when it comes to eating his dinner, but I love him and I scream into my pillow to vent my frustration in his nearly automatic refusals to eat.
One other thing I felt helpful was to wince and say ow in an exaggerated way when he would be less than gentle, this helped communicate my needs to him as he didn't seem to understand when I tried to talk to him. He is not a strong communicator like his brother was so it's more challenging to get him to understand verbal communication, actions speak louder for him, perhaps this will work for you?

<blockquote><b>Quoting motherofboys:</b>" I had fun with extended nighttime nursing too, what helped me was to first transition my LO who was ... [snip!] ... more challenging to get him to understand verbal communication, actions speak louder for him, perhaps this will work for you?"</blockquote>




His advice seems like its going to be very helpful for my situation. Did your younger son wean during the daytime before night weaning or the other way around? Inwould like my dd who just turned 2 to night wean and be in her own bed by the time the baby arrives bcauee i just dont think i can handle nursing two at night, but I would like her to still nurse during the day.

Quoting MommaSav2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting motherofboys:</b>" I had fun with extended nighttime nursing ... [snip!] ... baby arrives bcauee i just dont think i can handle nursing two at night, but I would like her to still nurse during the day."

He night weaned first, He was a few months past 3 1/2 years when he finally weaned completely. In fact he would probably still go back to nursing now if I let him, lol, he really loves nursing. I'm glad he weaned though, I was starting to resent our nursing sessions towards the end, my oldest weaned at 2 1/2 and I never felt that way. It was weird that I actually fell out of love with our nursing relationship, I guess it was natures way of telling me it was time to stop, lol.

<blockquote><b>Quoting motherofboys:</b>" He night weaned first, He was a few months past 3 1/2 years when he finally weaned completely. In fact ... [snip!] ... I actually fell out of love with our nursing relationship, I guess it was natures way of telling me it was time to stop, lol."</blockquote>

Hmm I was hoping we could keep it up a bit longer but the only brainy she really does right now, if any, is at night.

Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" something that helped with my son(until he tried peeling it off) was putting band aids on my nipples ... [snip!] ... night, he could nurse again in the morning. (i don't know why italics came on and I don't know how to turn it off, haha!!)"

"Ctrl i" will turn italics on and off

Quoting MommaSav2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting motherofboys:</b>" He night weaned first, He was a few months ... [snip!] ... Hmm I was hoping we could keep it up a bit longer but the only brainy she really does right now, if any, is at night."

If she wants to keep going, let her, if she doesn't, you can't force it. I thought I'd never feel the way I did, so it surprised me just how strongly I didn't want to nurse him anymore. It rather reminded me of when my cat started to nip at her last kitten (who was the only one we still had) because she was done nursing. Her kitten was over 3 months old at the time, so plenty able to survive without her mothers milk. So I figured my feelings were simply instinct that it was time to stop, I didn't force the issue though. I did become less receptive and was more prone to having him wait until I was mentally prepared to sit through what had become extremely irritating for me. It was so weird, because I always loved our nursing relationship, and lovingly nursed both my children. I still find it hard to believe just how much I wanted to stop. Those feelings didn't start until after his third birthday though, until that point I was still gung ho and happy about the whole thing.

Quoting Mama*AtoZ:" I didn't do any of that, just let DS do things when he was ready and at the same age he went to sleep ... [snip!] ... I know every child is different though, and it's impossible to predict what would've happened if you did it another way  "

I was pg and not getting any sleep. he was nursing every 30-60 minutes with a dwindling milk supply, so it was also painful and I wasn't going to be nursing 2 at night, so that's what was best for us at the time. If I wasn't pg and only had him, I wouldn't have had a problem with him nursing longer at night, etc.