re: Breastfeeding (the toddler years)

I want to clarify, I don't mind day nursing at all, it really doesn't bother me at all., never has. it's his night nursing that makes me insane! all i want is for him to night wean and sleep for about 6hrs straight every night, that's it! That would be enough for me. not 8hrs, not 9hrs, just 6hrs! At this point he only sleeps 2 maybe 3 hrs before waking throughout the night.

Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" I know exactly how you feel....

I have to say I am most impressed with your son's tenacity! He knows a good thing when he sees it. It's such a hard position to be in, and I am sorry that he won't just give you a break. So in the meantime just know that your son will most likely get anything he wants out of life and that you probably won't have to worry much about him when he's older since you're putting in so much time and affection with him now.

Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" I know exactly how you feel, I have been trying to night wean my son for nearly 10 months now and everywhere ... [snip!] ... in his nursing habits, it's making me crazy! I would give my left foot for him to just night wean himself and slee through!!"

I don't know what other people say, but I started the process of night weaning at about 18 months or so but it took until about 2 for it to happen & when it did work, it was rapid...as in feeling like we made very little progress to a few weeks later him sleeping 12 hrs. It may not work out for you because each child is different but I had to cut out naps with my 2nd at around 18-20 months old. I figured it out on accident on one day he didn't nap. It wasn't just night nursing, ti was also his WHOLE sleep routine - but just eliminating the day nap instantly transformed him to not waking at all for 12-14 hrs. If he napped it was an all night nightmare. I tried repeatedly to go back to naps & NO nap system ever worked & the only thing that worked was keeping him up, which in itself wasn't easy - but if he napped all was lost & he would be up a million times, only sleep for 5 hrs for the night & then declare it was "morning" no matter how much I tried to explain that 4am isn't morning, want to go back to sleep at 8am when my other child was getting up, then would refuse to wake & sleep for a few hours & try to nap on & off all day. You get the idea.

It is hard to nurse when you are feeling like you hate it. I would not suggest you try to nurse him for an hour - ever. It is too hard when you are feeling like this & it will only increase your aversion. Instead, make a true decision to set limits & boundaries & stick with it - so tell him as best you can that momma has owie boobies & you can only do say 15 mins & then you have to stop. Warn him when there is 2 minutes left, then 1 minute, then 30 seconds & then countdown to zero & unlatch him when you get there - even if that means pulling the corner of his mouth back to break seal & forcing a finger in there. These things will make it MUCH easier to tolerate & make it that much more likely that you don't push yoruself to the point of being totally done with it. Don't feel bad either - because what you are doing is trying to preserve the nursing relationship by making it doable for you. Take deep breaths & remind yourself that it won't always be this way momma. AND quit reading what happens ot other people like that. I know people say they nursed & their kids slept through by 4 montsh blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I've never known a breastfed baby that did that IRL. I am happy for the mommas who get that, but it's quite normal & typical to still be waking this often at his age. You can work on it for sure, but it's not terribly unusual. That is why I slept with my kids. If they woke it barely woke me & I could cope quite well with it..

Quoting justanothamotha:" I don't know what other people say, but I started the process of night weaning at about 18 months or ... [snip!] ... not terribly unusual. That is why I slept with my kids. If they woke it barely woke me & I could cope quite well with it.."

yeah he has been sleeping in our bed since day one, but at this point I am getting uncomfortable with it. Being stuck in one position so he can be latched on all night just leaves me sore and tired. Not to mention he kicks hubby in the head and back and well, it just isn't working the way it used to. Plus as my belly grows with this pregnancy I will definitely need more space. We have a king bed, but it just isn't enough space.
Well the nap thing seems iffy to me. On the one hand, yesterday he had an earlier nap than usual and fell asleep within 20mins at 7:45pm, (he usually is asleep around 10) so that was pretty good, but then he woke up 2hrs later and didn't go to be until 2hrs after that! So, the earlier nap did help him fall asleep quicker, but he fell asleep too early and it was almost like a second really late nap. My husband suggested cutting out naps yesterday, and I thought the na[p timing was the issue, but I see now that is not the case. I think you may be right with cutting his out naps. I just worry that he will become overtired and then it will take even longer to put him to sleep. We wake up around 7:30-8am, I guess a 12-14hr day of no naps could work.... I will try it today. We have no major plans. It will be hard to keep him awake, he will be fussy and what not, but I think I can do it and I want to see if it helps at all. He is very close to his 2nd birthday, so I really hope something changes around that time. I am also wondering if he is getting 2yr molars. Thank you for the suggestion, I will definitely try the no nap thing today.

Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" yeah he has been sleeping in our bed since day one, but at this point I am getting uncomfortable with ... [snip!] ... I am also wondering if he is getting 2yr molars. Thank you for the suggestion, I will definitely try the no nap thing today. "

around 13 weeks I dried up and DD nursed way less. Many kids wean during pregnancy he might be more into limits being set. Some moms start to restrict nursing to shorter amounts during pregnancy, maybe 5 minutes at a time, the length of a song, or even the ABC's for some. Or just start boundaries to get them ready for the newborn. They can't sit with it in their mouth all night with a newborn around. I started limiting my daughters nursing and night weaned her around 18 weeks. It was easier because i was all dried up also.

ETA I also currently tamdem so she didnt wean, she is 4 and my little one is 3m

Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" yeah he has been sleeping in our bed since day one, but at this point I am getting uncomfortable with ... [snip!] ... I am also wondering if he is getting 2yr molars. Thank you for the suggestion, I will definitely try the no nap thing today. "

Just to forewarn you, when we went to no naps he had to be in bed by 6-6:30pm, which was far from ideal for us...as I didn't like trying to make it home by that time & Dh gets home about 6pm.   But it is what worked...if I tried to push it any later, it got all jacked up. So sometimes it isn't really convenient, but when you are tired & all of that, you can make sacrifices you never thought you'd make. LOL

Quoting justanothamotha:" Just to forewarn you, when we went to no naps he had to be in bed by 6-6:30pm, which was far from ideal ... [snip!] ... it isn't really convenient, but when you are tired & all of that, you can make sacrifices you never thought you'd make. LOL"

well we cut his nap down to one hour versus two, and he did fall asleep much earlier, but was still awake within 2-3hrs of sleeping! Today he has not had a nap yet, so we will see if that makes him sleep longer!  

Quoting TantricLemons:" around 13 weeks I dried up and DD nursed way less. Many kids wean during pregnancy he might be more into ... [snip!] ... It was easier because i was all dried up also. ETA I also currently tamdem so she didnt wean, she is 4 and my little one is 3m"

how does the timing thing work for night nursing? He pretty much nurses in his sleep, so singing the ABC's might not make a difference. And during the day his nursings are short and frequent, so they don't really bother me too much aside from the pain. I wouldn't mind tandem nursing at all during the day, but night nursing with him has to stop! That way I can get a little break between him and the next baby. And so he can get out of our bed. I know some moms have bedshared with a toddler and newborn, but with the way he kicks and rolls, I refuse to bedshare. I hate the way it sounds, but I gotta kick him out of our bed for the new baby. Luckily we have 8 months still for him to adjust, so I hope he gradually responds to the pregnancy and makes the changes somewhat willingly. I have been trying to night wean since he was 14-15months old and somehow he has never been ready, it is getting frustrating and I figure soon something has to give. He has to be ready at some point!

Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" how does the timing thing work for night nursing? He pretty much nurses in his sleep, so singing the ... [snip!] ... he has never been ready, it is getting frustrating and I figure soon something has to give. He has to be ready at some point!"

I bedshare with both of mine and we do great. But I also have a side car setup https://tantriclemons.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/our-family-bed/
I have pics of our room here. But my DD is 4 and more self aware than a 2 year old. You are probably going to have to night wean at some point during the pregnancy. The best way to do it is get lots of help from dad. Have you ever read the no-cry sleep solution? I wouldn't stress to much about it right now, wait to see if your milk drying up or drop on supply will make him slow, it might be easier to night wean at that point. Don't feel bad about needing your space. Maybe get him a super awesome big kid bed and put it in your room, get him used to sleeping right next to the bed for a couple of weeks, then slowly move the bed towards the door and then to his room. Maybe plan a "sleepover" in his room the first night. I bet him sleeping in his own bed next to yours cuts down on the nursing to because he can't smell you as well.

Quoting TantricLemons:" I bedshare with both of mine and we do great. But I also have a side car setup https://tantriclemons ... [snip!] ... first night. I bet him sleeping in his own bed next to yours cuts down on the nursing to because he can't smell you as well."

Yah we sidecarred too & dad slept next to him instead of me.

Quoting justanothamotha:" Yah we sidecarred too & dad slept next to him instead of me."

the sidecar is so nice ^__^

well he falls asleep in his own bed, in his own room, every night, but then within 2-3hrs he is up and walks to our room, he is that persistent! haha I just wish he would stay asleep! And our room is too small and our bed is too big for us to sidecar or put his toddler bed in with us.
The problem isn't getting him out of our bed, he sleeps in his own just fine, it's about getting him to stay asleep in his own bed! Only a handful of times has he actually stayed in bed and slept until 5am. So I know he can do it.

Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" well he falls asleep in his own bed, in his own room, every night, but then within 2-3hrs he is up and ... [snip!] ... stay asleep in his own bed! Only a handful of times has he actually stayed in bed and slept until 5am. So I know he can do it."

The no cry sleep solution has some great tips for extending sleep times.

Question for you ladies....how often does/did your 18 month old child nurse. My DD still nurses every 2 to 3 hours unless I'm at work. And she still wakes at night to nurse....some nights it's no so bad, other nights it's ridiculous! Is this the norm?

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Blissful Six:</b>" Question for you ladies....how often does/did your 18 month old child nurse. My DD still nurses every ... [snip!] ... at work. And she still wakes at night to nurse....some nights it's no so bad, other nights it's ridiculous! Is this the norm?"</blockquote>


My daughter was the same, actually never slept through the night een once, until I was about 12-15 weeks along with this pretnancy and my milk started to change, at that point she was about 22 months. As far as I can tell its normal because she's a happy healthy almost 2 year old, just loves the boobies.