My daughter's sleepover

Help! My daughter is having a sleepover on Friday night. She's invited 4 friends. I asked the parents to reply by tomorrow so I know for sure how many are coming. Everyone has replied already, and they're all coming. Great! Well, the last parent to call wanted to know what they'd be doing, eating, etc....which I totally understand. I told her Nikki has some movies planned and she's planning on dressing up, doing make up, you know, girl stuff. Her mother forbids the make up part, and the dressing up. She doesn't want her daughter changing infront of the other girls. Then she asked what time they would go to bed, and absolutely no talking. I told her I would likely send them upstairs around 11 or 12 (they're only 11 years old) and asked when she would like them to go to bed. She said 9pm!!! Also, her daughter's not allowed on the computer (which is fine by me), not allowed to watch tv, not allowed pop and chips.......*sigh*
How can I go about un-inviting her daughter so my daughter and her friends can have fun? Should I change MY rules to suit HER daughter? I don't think I should, but I don't want to be rude and not invite her after she's already replied.
What about if Nikki has another sleepover sometime and only invites this girl...then I could follow her mother's rules. Do you think that would work??
I just don't know. Please help, lol!

You do have to go by that mother's rules. But it does seem a little silly for this one child to have to follow a different set of rules than the rest.

Wow that would be hard to have other girls there trying to have fun when this other girl cant do any thing

LOL OMG!!!!!!! what is wrong with her???? what r they suppose to do then?? sit and eat carrots???? she is boring i would say its cancelled just so she wont come but the rest will show up (mean lol) if she cant watch tv or play dress up what is for her daughter to do??? she shouldnt let her daughter come then. its not like she gonna become a lesbian by undressing in front of her friends gosh !! what is she 90??

Just try and work around her "rules".Play board games and anything that is not tv or dress up lol

I understand over protective parents but that's just ridiculous. Even if you followed that moms rules it's so unfair to that girl to miss out on the fun.

I think it is the girl's responsibility to follow her mother's rules.She is 11 not 6-there is a big difference.I have a 14 year old and I had one mother a few years back call with all her rules. It was when Lauren was in 6th grade. I basically told her that it would be up to Stephanie to do what she felt was right. I told the mother I simply did not feel comfortable singling her daughter out like that. She had a no pop rule as well,so I made sure there was lemonade at the party.
I think this woman needs to lighten up. Maybe she would be more comfortable with her daughter not spending the night and just coming over.

she has too many damn rules..
i think her daughter might be in training to be a nun..

Thanx. I can understand the pop and computer rules, but it's not like they're gonna plaster on the make up, dress in mini skirts, and have a wild night out on the town!!! I know I have to follow her mom's rules, but to have 4 other girls here that are allowed to have fun, I just feel awkward leaving one girl out. Plus, if they did sneak on some make up or something, then I would be held responsible for it.
I think I'll just be a meanie and say it's cancelled...and then invite just her over some other time. Then I can follow her rules without being a "drag" to the other girls. I have no problem with rules, but when there's 4 girls who can do things and one who can't, it makes it difficult. I think I could handle all of the rules, except how do you get 5 11 year old girls to bed with NO talking at 9pm on a Friday night??
Thanks for your input!

Quoting ducky:“ Thanx. I can understand the pop and computer rules, but it's not like they're gonna plaster on the make ... [snip!] ... the rules, except how do you get 5 11 year old girls to bed with NO talking at 9pm on a Friday night?? Thanks for your input!”

Like I said I would in no way feel comfortable being the enforcer of her mother's rules. Poor kid  

I would call back her Mom and just simply say, "Look I am really between a rock and a hard place, could we maybe comprimise with the rules a tad so the others don't get let down and your daughter won't be centered out.Or would you rather me just have hHow does your daughter feel about this anyways?er over another day and we will totally stick by her rules".You may be helping this poor little girl with future social situations.If the mother is unwilling to budge with say the bedtime and dress-up time I'd simply say, maybe you should tell your daughter that this party isn't going to be her cup of tea.How does your daughter feel about this anyways?

My daughter really wants her here, and I've explained that her friend will feel embarassed, likely, because she will have to go to bed earlier, she won't get to join in the fun, etc.
According to my daughter, this girl never watches tv, listens to music, goes to any parties or sleepovers, she has a 7pm bedtime, no sugar whatsoever, cannot have friends over, can't go on school trips, is not allowed to play with her little brother....and on and on. She says her friend is embarassed by her mother and sneaks behind her back to do things. That's the exact reason why I've lightened up a bit on my kids...I don't want them to feel they have to sneak around. But, she's not my kid, she has to follow her mother's rules. I'm going to call her mom back and discuss bending the rules a wee bit, so her daughter doesn't feel awkward. If she says absolutely not, then we'll just invite her some other time when we can accomodate her.

Quoting ducky:“ My daughter really wants her here, and I've explained that her friend will feel embarassed, likely, because ... [snip!] ... doesn't feel awkward. If she says absolutely not, then we'll just invite her some other time when we can accomodate her.”

awwww, i feel so bad for that kid!!! my 6 month old has more fun than her. seriously though, that mother has too many rules, when that kid hits high school she's gonna go crazy, drugs, sex and parttttyyy.

I would call this mother up again, and ask if the rules could be bent a litle like instead of regular pop, why not sugar free or caffeine free pop? or I mean with the dress up thing why don't you make sure she undress's in a private place, and with the 9pm bedtime, how about all the girls get into their sleeping bags or whatever and fall asleep watching movies, if other mom still finds this unacceptable than I would just tell her some other time, so that the accomodations can be made, Good luck!

Poor Kid.

Honestly, the mother should feel that her rules are being followed when the daughter goes elsewhere, esp being that she DID speak to you, so you are aware of how she feels.

I think you should let the girls have a good time, and try not to let the differences in parenting seem too big. Maybe you could give fruit punch instead of soda... and the girls could change in the bathroom or closets for "dress-up". You could have "bedtime" at nine, or nine-ish... where the girls have to be in the room that they are going to be sleeping in (bedroom, or livingroom or whatever) and have lights out, but they could watch a movie at THAT time, or something similar... because you cant FORCE her kid to sleep at "bedtime", it won't be your fault if she didn't sleep at that moment. Also, unless you are planning on hovering over them in the room, you don't know if they are talking!

I think this woman needs to get a grip...  

Quoting SMFantastic:“ Poor Kid. Honestly, the mother should feel that her rules are being followed when the daughter goes ... [snip!] ... on hovering over them in the room, you don't know if they are talking! I think this woman needs to get a grip...  ”

I agree 100%. This poor girl. My daughter has a couple of friends whose parents are very overprotective and it is does play a part in who we invite to do things.