When is it the right time?

It's been 4 months since we lost our little girl (she lived 33 days). I'm torn...are we ready yet? There is no pressure from my husband or families, but when do you know your ready. Everyone says.....you will know when your ready? Will I ever truly be ready????? I so badly want to hold our baby, I cry everyday, missing her! Is it to soon, am i still grieving....if so i don't ever think I will fully stop grieving for her (I know it gets easier with time, so I hear). But my heart still aches, maybe if we had another baby it might be easier. Plus, I would never want a future child to feel we only had them to fill the void and ache of our heart. What do you think?

After our miscarriage at 12weeks, I swore off having kids for a year atleast, the thought of going through that pain again was just not worth it.

well, 2 and a half months later and we found out we were PG again, after only having sex twice since the miscarriage, my husband was so excited but the first 3 days after the first test I cried and cried and felt guilty! I was so afraid to lose this baby that I tried to ignore that I was pregnant like it wasn't real!

we're in our 26th week now and I can not begin to tell you how happy we are, we still think and pray over our first angel but feeling our daughter and getting ready for her has helped me grieve 10x's better and to be honest, helped me get closure a lot faster then I probably would have allowed myself if we hadn't gotten pregnant so soon.

Take your time, talk with your hubby and seriously, you will know when your ready.

i just read your story in your profile and I am now crying. I am so sorry for your loss, but you seem like an incredibably strong woman...I know you probably want something more exact but I really think that when you are ready, you will know. And if you don't know right now, you're just not ready yet... idk, I will keep you in my prayers and I wish you all the luck in the world when you get pregnant again!!

just out of curiousity, where in SC are you? I'm in florence! lol =)

Awww mama...I wish I could give you a hug right now.
You have an angel now, shes watching over you... and I think that God will bless you with another little one ~ you will never let go of her memory but there may come a time when you are healed enough to bring another baby into your life, and when it comes I wish you nothing but luck and a healthy happy pregnancy. Having never been in your shoes I can't say when is when... But I do believe God will be there, with your angel, and he'll let you know when is when. ((Sorry if that sounded cheesy))

I'm sorry for your loss! But I dont think your child would ever think that. You want another baby to love and care for. They weould just be glad that you gave them life! Take time to grieve, it will happen again when you feel it should!

Quoting Allie [Ailey's Mommy]:“ i just read your story in your profile and I am now crying. I am so sorry for your loss, but you seem ... [snip!] ... all the luck in the world when you get pregnant again!! just out of curiousity, where in SC are you? I'm in florence! lol =)”

I'm in Clover/Lake Wylie area. Thank you for all your thoughts.

Quoting Mrs.Hartfield:“ After our miscarriage at 12weeks, I swore off having kids for a year atleast, the thought of going through ... [snip!] ... if we hadn't gotten pregnant so soon. Take your time, talk with your hubby and seriously, you will know when your ready.”

Thank you so much, I think I would be the same way...cry that we are pregnant again, but also be happy because of what is about to happen.

Thank you girls for all the good advise. I'm leaving it in God's hands. He granted us 33 days with Lauren and if he thinks we are ready he will give us another gift, one of his children to love and raise.

Quoting RIP "JuneBug" 2008:“ It's been 4 months since we lost our little girl (she lived 33 days). I'm torn...are we ready yet? There ... [snip!] ... Plus, I would never want a future child to feel we only had them to fill the void and ache of our heart. What do you think?”

I just sent you a PM with a "story" I posted a while ago as a topic. From a friend that miscarried/gave birth to her little boy at about 14 weeks. It makes me cry every time I read it. But I felt like I should share it with you. It has a special impact on those that have been in that type of situation.

I don't think you will ever really be "ready", unfortunately...

But one good way to tell is to honestly be able to say that you will be able to enjoy the pregnancy without 'resenting' (and I don't mean that quite the way it sounds) the fact that it is a different baby...
Remember, you can't grieve and enjoy a pregnancy at the same time... I would say if you are still crying regularly, then you aren't quite ready... I know the ache to hold a baby is just awful, but you want to make sure you are in a good place...

Good luck Mama.. And I promise you that it will get easier, ok??
Sending you lots of hugs,
- Jess