re: A Good Teen Mother is....

Quoting The Cookie Jar ;D:“ I have been getting into alot of "confrontations" this past week over what constitutes a good teen mom. ... [snip!] ... her and the childs well being. A good teen mother finds time to balance being a parent and a teenager ^like that.....”

keep on keepin on mama!!!!! *Muah*!

The reality of the situation is that YES teen mothers are held to a higher standard then other mothers. Becuase we are young we are expected not to do well, to drop out, to be neglectful,or to do generally stupid things with our kids. I dont see the point in not calling it what it is, im a TEEN mother. No one else in the world is going to say oh honey your just a mother it doesnt matter if you are young....realistically thats just not going to happen too often. thats why i even asked this question... Because people have been telling me lately that to be a good teen parent u have to have certain things. if i was 26 or 36 or 46 i wouldnt be expected to get married if i got pregnant. or to keep quiet about things like PPD. Apparently "Im to young to have PPD".... things like that make me wonder, what exactly should a teen parent be? what should they do? what will make us GOOD ENOUGH to just be called a MOTHER?

I didn't read this whole thread but here are my two cents.

I'm 23 and a good mother, I work two jobs and though I have my own place, at the moment I'm living with my mom because I'm going through hard times and need her love and support. Living with your folks doesnt make you a bad mom.

If you take responsability of your child then you are fine. You have to think of your future and not just live for today when you are a parent.

I don't think any mother should go out every weekend! I think that once you are a mother you kinda stop being a teenager (except on occasion) or a young adult. For example, I plan on hiring a babysitter (I'll pay my mother) to watch Novali for Halloween so I can go out. Novali is too young for Halloween parties yet and there isn't any trick-or-treating here. But if you want to go get smashed on weekends, that's not being a great mommy IMO.

To make it short:
If you keep your baby healthy and show your baby how much you love him/her, you are being a good mommy.

Quoting The Cookie Jar ;D:“ The reality of the situation is that YES teen mothers are held to a higher standard then other mothers. ... [snip!] ... me wonder, what exactly should a teen parent be? what should they do? what will make us GOOD ENOUGH to just be called a MOTHER?”

When we stop putting the label on ourselves. Yeah, we're in our teens, that doesn't need to precede everything we tell someone. It's not like other women are walking around saying "I'm a 20 something Mom" "I'm a 30 something mom" etc. Like all of the "proud teen mom" icons and whatever, who cares if you're a teen?!?! You're a mom. Being a teen has nothing to do with it. Should I be a proud brown haired mom too? Or a proud hazel eyed mom? Or a proud short mom? It just doesn't make any sense to me...Idk.

Quoting Beth [Tegan's Mommy]:“ When we stop putting the label on ourselves. Yeah, we're in our teens, that doesn't need to precede everything ... [snip!] ... I be a proud brown haired mom too? Or a proud hazel eyed mom? Or a proud short mom? It just doesn't make any sense to me...Idk.”

Well said.

Quoting LESBIAN MOMMY:“ it ridiculous is she is just handing her baby off to whoever but if its her mom or her sister i see no problem with it.. if they are offering and its only for a couple of hours i dont see why not”

Its the whole day and she expects it.

Quoting The Cookie Jar ;D:“ The reality of the situation is that YES teen mothers are held to a higher standard then other mothers. ... [snip!] ... me wonder, what exactly should a teen parent be? what should they do? what will make us GOOD ENOUGH to just be called a MOTHER?”

I've never heard someone was too young to have PPD.

Quoting The Cookie Jar ;D:“ I have been getting into alot of "confrontations" this past week over what constitutes a good teen mom. ... [snip!] ... her and the childs well being. A good teen mother finds time to balance being a parent and a teenager ^like that.....”

I'm 17, will be 18 in November, and have a 4 week old little girl.

I live at home, but have plenty of savings to move out- my fiance and I (yes, I'm engaged to the father of my child and the love of my life) want to save up so we can purchase something instead of renting. While pregnant, I nearly completed nightschool, I have one semester left and will finish in the spring. I plan on getting a 2 and/or 4 year degree and teaching.

I think being a good mom is so much more than being financially independant and having your own place to live- although this helps in many ways. I live with my mom for a couple different reasons, but if Imoved out, it would be a hardship to her, as well- I help out immensely with her other children, household stuff, etc.

I've struggled a lot with the "teen mom" stereotype in my own mind- I'm almost 18 and don't consider it that young to have a child, especially with my mindset, dedication, and commitment- but I still am judged for my age and possibly my unmarried status.

But honestly- at the end of the day I know how much I love my daughter- I'd do and will do anything for her. I don't think- like ssomeone else said- any mom should be going out partying all the time. I haven't left her yet and don't intend to for a while- when I want to go out to dinner or visit a friend with my fiance, we take her with us, although both his and my mom have offered to take her, I dno't feel comfortable and that's my choice as a mom.

I feel just as fit as any other mom- no, I don't pay for the roof over my head but I do contribute to the roof over my head, and besides that, I do everything any other mom does.

Just my (garbled) two cence ... baby is waking up.

I think I'm going to be an awesome mother. I'm working my ass off right now to get things ready for her arrival.... also, I will give her all the love in the world. I haven't even met her yet and I'm already in love with her, cheesy as that sounds. I'll do whatever I can to make sure she lives a good life.

Quoting The Cookie Jar ;D:“ I have been getting into alot of "confrontations" this past week over what constitutes a good teen mom. ... [snip!] ... her and the childs well being. A good teen mother finds time to balance being a parent and a teenager ^like that.....”

A good teen mother is the same as any good mother - she does what she thinks is in the best interest for her child(ren), she loves them, takes care of them, doesn't neglect or abuse them.

That's the only thing that's important.

C.