Should I call my doctor or not?? Need support!!

I am 34 wks 4 days, and absolutely about ready to lose my mind!! This is my second pregnancy and I found out I was pregnant 7 weeks after my first baby (Madison) was born Dec. 15th. My drs. have told me that it is totally normal to be really sore with this pregnancy since I didn't fully recooperate after having Maddie. But, over the last week my body feels like it is starting to give out completely and I am terrified that I won't be able to move by the time I have this one. My husband works at Home Depot and his schedule is erratic. We just moved down to CA from Mont. after finding out I was pregnant again to live with his parents, so he is in a tough position at work. They are wanting to promote him, but worried he will have to take time off when I have the baby (which he will). It sucks for him, because he knows how difficult things are getting for me and wants to be here to help with Maddie. His parents both work m-f, so I am home alone most of the time.

To give you a little background: Some of this might be a little repetative; I posted about other issues a while back and gave a brief summary then too.

I had extreme complications with my first preg. I had hyper-emesis throughout the entire preg. followed by eclampsia 1 week post-partum which caused a seizure while I was in the shower and I nearly died. I have had a completely different experience this time, but not necessarily good things. I fell in Aug while at the beach which was nothing huge, but made the soreness factor worse. And then 1 week later I was walking downstairs with Maddie in my arms, and fell belly first down 7 stairs. I was able to save Maddie from injury but not myself. The baby I am carrying was fine also, but my entire body was one big bruise.

So, I am no longer allowed to go downstairs at all without someone helping me, and this house is set up where we are living upstairs but the kitchen is down, so if I need to eat anything my husband tries to bring me things to get me through the day. My husband has been so wonderful, and I don't know what I would do without him.

But, back to my problem....I can no longer carry Madison and walk at the same time. If I do, I either feel like my legs are going to give out or my stomach gets really tight and starts to hurt. I can barely roll over in bed. I have to have my husband help me reposition because the pain from my muscles is so bad. I feel completely incompetent and it is starting to mentally take it's toll on me. I saw my dr last Friday and the pain wasn't as bad then. But over the weekend, everyday has gotten so much worse. Should I call my dr. and let them know how I am feeling?? I know there isn't a lot they can do and it's pretty much a waiting game at this point, but just for peace of mind I kind of feel like I should tell them. If this pain continues like it is, I am afraid I won't be able to take care of my daughter at all or myself for that matter. I don't have anyone else to watch her, and I just don't know what to do. I am going crazy here. I am so tired of being pregnant, and I feel like I am literally starting to get post-partum depression before the baby is born. Any advice you can offer would be great. I feel so alone right now, and could use the support. Thank you for reading this extremely long post.

I know how you feel in many ways. I too had problems in pregnancy. I have been pregnant 11 times. I had 6 miscarriages and 5 babies. 3 of the five babies I gave to people who could not have their own babies. I now have a 9 year old and a 1 year old. I am due 6/11/07. The last baby nearly killed me. I spent much of the time in the hospital. I also had hyper-emisis and then I developed eclampsia. I can understand your frustration.

To help you out a little, I had two pregnancies pretty close together at one point and it can cause VERY bad pain. I had all over soreness but the pain in my pelvic region the worst. They said it was the bones actually separating! Not fun to say the least.

I would say to call the doctor. That is what they are there for. If I was in pain and it was getting worse I would contact them. You can never be too safe, right?

I would love to be your pregnancy buddy. I think we could help each other out alot. Let me know how you are feeling. I will worry.

Hope you can get some relief from the pain.  

Sincerely,

Dianna H.
Due 6/11/07

Okay......so, I can't take this pain anymore and I finally called the dr. I described how I was feeling to the nurse and started bawling halfway through it because I feel like an inadequate mother. I know my daughter is getting what she needs, but I feel like I am not up to par for her. My dr's nurse relayed all of my symptoms to him and called me back. Of course, they want to see me so I have an appointment on Thursday. She said she is really concerned about depression at this point and that I need to take it easy and get lots of rest. Easier said than done!!! I feel like it is impossible to take it easy and rest when I am almost constantly chasing my 9 month old around now that she is crawling and trying to walk. She's into everything!! How can I take it easy?? I am relieved that my situation is actually going to result in having to see the dr. instead of being told that it's just the way it is right now...deal with it. I now am supposed to write down every single little problem I am having so that I can sit down with him over his lunch break on Thurs. and tell him everything. I only have 5 weeks to go, but when you are in this much pain and discomfort, it feels like an eternity. Ugh!!  

Do not feel like you have to do it all! If your baby is being a pain or causing you to be in pain then put her in her crib or playpen for a while. It is not a problem if she cries. Just remember you need to get some rest and if that means she has to cry take note of what my doc said to me "no baby has ever died from crying!" It is true! She is going to have to learn to become more independent with the new baby coming. Use baby gates, plypens, the crib or any other measure you can to ensure that baby can not get into anything so you can get some rest!

Also, as a little addition to hollidaysbug's comments....Eventually your children HAVE to learn to self-entertain (for your sanity if nothing else...but really, it's good for them to be able to entertain themselves...) so even if you don't leave her in her playpen for LONG periods of time...consider this the beginning of teaching her to entertain herself....Once you've got that new baby she's not going to get as much attention anyway...It'll be good for her if she can play by herself for a little while...as long as she's behaving...heh...Good luck. I hope everything starts getting better for you. Let us know how you're doctors appt. goes!

I do let her cry and self entertain, but she is a very advanced child and requires lots of entertaining. She is better than she used to be, but she is different when it is just her and mom. When dad is home she will play by herself for a good 1/2 hour sometimes, but when it's just mom she seems to get very clingy. We are having problems with her staying in her bed all night and have tried everything we can think of. She used to fall asleep on her own and self soothe until we moved to California. The transition made seemed to give her separation anxiety and we allowed her to sleep in our room for a couple weeks after we moved which we know was a HUGE mistake. Now we can't get her to take fall asleep on her own at all. After she crashes at night my husband will lay her in her crib and she stays there until about 3 am when she realizes where she is. Like I said, we have tried to get her to stay there, but she just won't. We have let her cry, go in & check on her, let her cry some more, and so on for a couple hours and then she is so wound up that she just fights going to sleep period, and we are up all night. So, we decided to battle it more after this baby is born when we are up and down all night anyway. I just don't have the energy at this point to fight it, and I know that is a horrible excuse.

We are living with my in-laws right now, too, and that doesn't help trying to get her in a good pattern. If she cries at night for more than 2 minutes, they will come running upstairs to see if we know it or not. They also didn't believe until recently that I am not up to doing things the way they think I should. My husband's b-day was Aug. 11th and since he hasn't spent his birthday with his mom in years, they wanted to do something special. So, they decided we were going to go to Monterey, CA for the night and have a marathon weekend of taking in all the sights. It's about a 4 hour drive for us from where we live, and with the way traffic was, it took almost 6 hours. They would not stop and let me walk because "we are almost there", "just another 30 mins.". By the time we got there, I was so stiff from sitting in the car, I could barely move. Then the next morning, we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium which took 4 hours to see all of it, and I couldn't handle all of the walking. I was begging to leave, but they just had to see more. After that we went on the 17-mile drive by Pebble Beach, and I was so exhausted that at one of the stops we were taking pictures on the beach and I slipped in the sand, landed on my butt pretty hard, and scraped the crap out of my leg. They thought I was being "ridiculous" because at that point I was just pissed off that they weren't taking my discomfort seriously, and I was bleeding all down my leg!! We headed home, and my husband helped get upstairs and lie down & then he went back down to unload the vehicle. Well, after they finished they cornered him and told him that they thought I was asking too much of him, and that I was asking him for help when I was clearly able to do the things myself. I was so pissed!!! He told them that they had no idea what I had been through and that there was no possible way I was asking too much. So, to sum up, my in-laws didn't believe how I was feeling and they think I can be neglectling to my daughter. Which is not true in the least bit. I do everything I can for her, and am hurt that they would ever think I wouldn't. She whimpers and they come running. It drives me crazy.

So amongst the issues I am having physically, there is some much more to the situation. We moved here because of how expensive my first pregnancy was (almost $100,000 - thank God for insurance and Medicaid). And we have lost everything - house, car, savings....we are currently preparing to file bankruptcy (something we never thought we would have to do). And all of our friends and family are in Montana. I have no one here except my husband, and he is working constantly to be able to buy diapers and attempt to support his family. I never dreamed that we would have such a run of bad luck. We are planning on trying to save up and move out on our own, but we don't know when we will be able to do that. I feel like I am being tested to the max of how much I can tolerate, and I don't know how much more I can honestly handle!!

There is an end in sight, but it is definately taking it's time. Thanks for listening!! I REALLY appreciate it!!

All I can say is that you have my prayers.

You should really let your doc know about how you are feeling physically. It's taking a toll. I kind of know how you feel. This is my fifth pregnancy in since May 2002. I feel the same pains. Sometimes I feel like my body will totally give out by the end of this pregnancy. I have never felt pains. like this before, esp. my lower back and pelvic and private area.

Try to give yourself a little time to yourself everyday. Try getting some rest when your baby is napping. You can do this.

Wow...that is really hard. I'm sorry that things are so tough for you. It's definately difficult when the grandparents won't listen...They have to respect the way you want to raise your children...but they obviously don't...and obviously don't respect you...I hope you can move out as you plan...Don't think it's such a negative stigma having to file for bankruptcy...My parents did it when I was ten...and that was because my father's work cut him back to four days a week and not even a full eight hours a day...And we were living in a neighborhood that was going to hell, yet the prices we going up (we lived in one of those mobile home communities..You pay for the house and rent the land...and once you've payed off the house you can move it anywhere you want to...It was getting so bad that everyone who had paid off their house was ripping it up and taking off...) My parents didn't want us living in that neighborhood so they filed bankruptcy so we could move out. In CA (I"m from CA, so this is from experience) you can buy your own home a year after you've filed bankruptcy...You'll have to rent for a little while...but believe me, it's not as horrible as you might think...I'm sure your run of bad luck will end soon. ^_^ Good luck!

i am sorry for your stituation...you, little maddie and your husband are all in my prayers...its going to be ok...just a few more weeks and this will all be over...you'll be able to handle your in-laws alot better...mine were the exact same way...now, granted...i love and respect them as i'm sure you do...but they need to respect the way you choose to raise the baby...there is nothing wrong with her learning to self soothe...i had to sit my inlaws down and make it clear to them that ultimately my husband and i are going to raise our kids the way WE see fit...so i know it irritates the hell out of you...but it will get better...remember this...God never gives us anything we can't handle...keep ya head up for just a few more weeks...good luck at the doctors!  

I went to the doctor yesterday, and they checked me over really good to make sure that neither I nor the baby was in any kind of emergency distress. He told me that unfortunately there isn't anything they can do, and I am one of the worst cases he's ever seen (meaning the amount of immobility and pain). I am 35 weeks today, and I am officially on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. I had a complete and total melt down in his office, and I was so happy that he was so caring and understanding. The whole bed rest thing really sucks. I am not allowed to be home alone for long amount of time, and the worst part about it is that I am not allowed to take care of my daughter Maddie. He doesn't want me to be stressed in the least bit to worry about her care, so my husband is having to change his work schedule around so he can be home during the week and work weekends when his parents are home to look after Maddie. I can get up and move around a little bit, but nothing that could over do it. He said the cause of my pain is mostly from the strain my muscles and bones have been put through having these pregnancies so close together. My bones have not only softened, but completely separated to make room for baby. He checked me and thought the baby had definately dropped. I still have 5 weeks to go technically, but he doesn't seem to think I will have to wait until November. That is a huge plus!!

Emotionally, this is extremely difficult. It's only been a day, but I can see myself getting really stir crazy. But, hopefully it will be over very soon. Thanks for all the support, and I will keep you all posted on the progress!!