Should I? (long sorry)

Ok this may be long but you have to get the back story. While I was pregnant with Tait Kyle and I split up and I started seeing another guy. Obviously we had sex, I don't have a problem with it, but Kyle does (which is understandable). We got back together in November of 07 and I stopped seeing Mike (the other guy). So last Thursday my friend came down from out of town and I told Kyle I needed a break and would it be ok if he could take Tait overnight and I go out with her. He said that was fine just to call him every few hours to make sure I was ok. I told him I would just so I could check up on Tait as well. Now, I hadn't been out since Tait was born in January, so I kinda went a little buck wild lol. Every arguement Kyle and I get into turns into an arguement about Mike and how I'm a huge slut and blah blah blah. So needless to say we got into an arguement that night when I missed a call from him. I was busy (vomiting) so I was just gonna call him back when I got done. He let loose on me, calling me a slut, bitch, lazy ass, bad mother...every name in the book. So I kicked him out of the house and told him it was over. i wasn't going to stand for things like that anymore. He was borderline abusive as well, so I'm glad I got out when I did.

Now it's been 7 days since the incident, and I honestly don't understand how single mothers do it. I've gotten to the point where I'd rather be in a miserable relationship with him just so I can get some help with Tait. So my question in all this rambling crap is should I just "grin and bear it" so to speak and get back with him? Or just tough it out and do it alone? and most importantly, when the hell does it get easier?!

u dont have to be with him to have some sorta help with your son.....

definitely don't "grin and bear it". You shouldn't put up with that. You wouldnt want your son seeing that growing up and thinking its ok do you? anyways It will make you stronger AND you will eventually find someone that treats you right and wont put you through that crap. good luck hun.

sorry double post....but yea when u messed with mike u were apart from your husband so it shouldnt matter now...that neither here nor there so that should be te past...and if he still bringing it up then he never forgave you for it...and hell, if i had a baby and havent went out sincei had my child u damn right u deserved it....but u dont deserve to be mistreated because of that and if it takes being treated like crap just to get help for your son then idk wat to tell you because i guess i would have t tough it out...it gets hard but he still has a responsibility whether u stay with him or not

I dont know how I do it either.

And I wouldnt,just because it makes him think "oh I can get away with it" etc you know?

do not crawl back to a miserable relationship you know you wont be happy with! your stress and stuff can affect the child still ya know!

get help from friends and family. ive been single since before i ever got pregnant... i cant thank my friends and family enough for all their support.

Quoting Jett's Mom! [+ sz mommy]:“ do not crawl back to a miserable relationship you know you wont be happy with! your stress and stuff ... [snip!] ... family. ive been single since before i ever got pregnant... i cant thank my friends and family enough for all their support.”

Same here. 

Thanks ladies. I'm just thinking I should have stayed away from him when we split up the first time so I would be used to being a single mom. ugh it's just so frustrating. No one in my family will take him for me. Punishment for getting pregnant at 19...

Quoting Tait's Mommy:“ Thanks ladies. I'm just thinking I should have stayed away from him when we split up the first time so ... [snip!] ... a single mom. ugh it's just so frustrating. No one in my family will take him for me. Punishment for getting pregnant at 19...”

Dont think like that,no one in my family will take Hazel either and I'm 22.

Single parenting doesn't get any easier, parenting in general doesn't get any easier, I don't think. It just changes.
No one can tell you what to do, it is all up to you. But what I will tell you is that nothing is worth putting yourself in an abusive relationship. I've been there, the effects are too long lasting and affect every aspect of your life. And the last thing I think any woman would want is to raise their son to treat women badly. And let's face it, they learn by example.
There are ways to make it as a single mom, I did it with two kids while working and attending college until I met my fiance. I can't lie, it sucks, but it is possible and no matter what we, as mothers, have more strength than we know and can handle anything that life , throws at us, just to be sure our kids are taken care of. Look into programs that your community offers, like Headstart and that sort of thing. Or see if you can find a play group or trade babysitting with a friend so you can get a break once in a while. You can do it, just take advantage of all your resources, don't be to proud to ask for help if you need it, there is always someone there willing to help!!
(Gee, can you tell I am a social work major? LOL)

Yea being a single mother is hard but its not the end of the world. I myself am a single mother of two soon to be 3 and am 22 years old. You dont need to be with someone just because of the baby. It is most definately not a grin and bear it situation. If you were to stay and put up with that imagine what effect it would have on your son. It would show him that its ok to treat women that way and its ok to not respect them. I havent been able to go out in so long but to me it doesn't matter i will always have more fun sitting at home with my children then go out anyday. yea its nice to have a break but you also have the time in between when they are napping or you are in the shower. Take all of the little momeents you have to you self i know they are far and few between but take the ones you do have and make the most of them.

Quoting Tait's Mommy:“ Ok this may be long but you have to get the back story. While I was pregnant with Tait Kyle and I split ... [snip!] ... to speak and get back with him? Or just tough it out and do it alone? and most importantly, when the hell does it get easier?!”

 Don't do it....it is tough right now, and truthfully it could get tougher...who knows...but you are better off without him, and so is Tait at this point.  I am not by any means calling Kyle a bad father, but it is no good for Tait to be raised in a household where it's acceptable for a man to call the mother of his child a slut.  Point blank, he will grow up to be that way too.  Tait is too cute and loveable to grow up and be like that, and so you have to keep him away from Kyle's bad behavior.  You can do it without him, and you deserve happiness, which I do not see you finding with Kyle.

aw merideth thanks luff you honey

dont think you should grin and bear it for sure... that is NOT a good situation to be in at all!! im sorry you're going through that, because i know how it feels to not have help, because i dont get A LOT, however, i get it when i ask for it or need it. My bf is at work about 50 hrs a week and when he comes home he just wants to unwind w/his xbox... but he WILL pause his game when I need a break, because being with a baby 24/7 gets tiring. ESPECIALLY a special needs baby that requires extra care. I definitely think that because he is the father of Tait, he should still have an active role in his life and perhaps come and spend a few hours each night with him and maybe do some CPT and feed him or something... this way, you're getting a break and not having to deal with the possible abuse that may come.

I wish i could be there to help you too, and give you a hug. Stay strong woman, you will be just fine!! 

you shouldnt have to put up with anything of the sort, i got pregnant with my son at 18 and had him at 19, my partner was an ass and treated me badly, i actually got the power to kick his ass out when my son was 3 months old, it felt like my world had caved in, i didnt think id cope with the night feeds and the every day things kids need, but how wrong was i, i had the attitude that i was strong and no one was going to tell me any different, god i struggled im not going to lie but bring up my son on my own has made our relationship amazing, my son is now 3 and im with the most amazing guy and im 13 weeks pregnant, so good thing come to thos who wait,

your kids dad still has to be around for them, i dont the situation but doesnt he take tait off of your hands for you so u can have a break?