Vent.. Those that have legal experience are welcome to comme

Read all these posts has been interesting. I won't even be 17 until 2 months after my son is born but I also have alot of experience with young children and infants. You never know how good of a parent, whether they're 14 or 40, will be until the very end of their child's life. Maturity is the biggest factor, NOT age or if you're a genius in school or not. I chose on my own before I even tested not to have an abortion, that I'd rather adopt out and give another family what they deserve and wished for. My great uncle and his wife are part of the reason I feel this way.. They got lucky when their, now, 5 year old little boy made it into the world. They have been trying TTC for a few years now but have lost a baby at 5 months and are to the point that they won't even say they think shes pregnant until she gets past the 6th month.. and its devistating.

The father of my son took advantage of the fact that I didn't see clearly at the time to figure out what he was trying to do to me, and had tried with others before me.. He told my aunt word for word, "If she has an abortion, she can kiss my ass goodbye." Just as cold as ice.. Right then I knew he didn't care at all for me but I stuck around hoping I was wrong or that he'd make an error and I'd find out who to talk to..What makes that even more upsetting, is the fact that he had starting lieing and cheating on me from the start and even so AFTER we found out I was pregnant. Its a big mess. Now they're claiming they will try to get full custody, that they have some lawyer (I have doubts they can afford a real one), and they keep LIEING to each other and other people about me and what have you. The other day I had to go in to my OB/GYN for my check-up and his sister just so happened to be getting an ultrasound done at the same time that day. So his mom was there about to park at the same time I was, and she took the closest spot to the office that I was going to take. (SHES HUGE, hasn't had a job in years if ever at all, and they eat fast food pretty much everyday, I'm 7 months pregnant and I have hip pain from a birth defect in my feet so the shorter the distance I have to walk sometimes the better.) Then she started to stare me down and shake her head and shit. WELL I'M NOT SORRY I DIDN'T MARRY YOUR SKANKY ASS, LIEING, CHEATING, RECKLESS, AND CARELESS SON!!!

Mind you, I got nasty emails from his family saying that I should just give up custody as soon as Connor is born, to THEM and their reason for that was because I'm actually going to college!! In TWO YEARS!!! The only thing he could say for himself to ME when I confronted him via Yahoo SMS was "fuck off I'm trying to do something important." I have warned them FOUR times now and the last 2 warning I added that I'd be calling the police on them if any of them tried to talk to, come near me, or dig into my personal records. (the fourth I sent to his aunt after I he had tried talking to one of my best friends) They are now not allowed to even be near the L&D and whatever room I get put in AT ALL.. They'll honestly be lucky if they get so much as a phone call, thats up to my family. I don't care as long as they stay the hell away from me and my son for now..

Hell! Hes been saying that as soon as he turns 18 hes leaving town and going into the army and shit (he'll be 18 before Connor is born) He's too damn lazy to even pick up the DOG SHIT off their carpet after its been there for obviously a long time b/c it was usually DRY.. I've been trying to get a job for months and I'm close.. Right now I'm just waiting for an opening after the summer employees leave..

Also, I told his sister (shes 3 months behind me) that I wanted to breastfeed and she was screaming and crying that I shouldn't and just give him full custody after I told her I broke up with him.. I want my son to have a good start in life, starting with giving him a better chance of having good health and less pain.. I'm positive that many of you on here would and have done the same if the chance arises for you to be able to pick between certain things, that you think would be the best for your child.

They're sick in the head.. I'm sure others have already said that before me or something like it.. The only reason I was with him in the first place was because in the beginning I believed him and I just wanted to be with someone that wouldn't take advantage of me and act like a pessimist and just plainly someone who I THOUGHT could help me get out of the depressive phase I was in at the time.. I'm not really eating crow when I say this, but I admit I was foolish. However, I don't regret it. He's the one that did wrong and had bad intentions.. Its not a crime to want to go out and ENJOY LIFE but whenever someone blindsides you like they did, theres no need to regret your own decisions, you just never know until even years after it happens.. I made my choices and I stand by them and I'm doing what I think is right.

Thank you for those that want to listen..

I wouldn't want him or his family anywhere near my child. They sound like low lifes.
There is nothing wrong with you wanting to better yourself. Are your parents going to help you fight them off if necessary?
I hope so. You are obviously more balanced than they could ever dream of being.

You really have a lot on your plate, hon. I can't imagine what emotional havoc you must be going through. I would like to say that a judge won't grant him custody unless he can prove without a doubt that you are an unfit mother due to a record/proof of severe chemical abuse or something else along those lines. They won't give him custody just because his family wants this baby. As long as you can show proof of a safe and comfortable environment for this child to come home to, then you really don't have anything to worry about it in regards to custody issues.

WOW! Sorry about your situation. I do however, commend you tremendously for stepping up and acctually being a responsible parent. You are 100% correct in that being a good parent has nothing to do with age!

As far as him claiming he is gonig to try and get custody of the child... that isnt likely to happen. It is almost impossible for a man to get full custody of a child unless the mother gives it to him OR if he has proof that she is an unfit mother (a drug addict, whore in the home, providing an unsafe unhealthy home, etc). but it sounds like you have your head screwed on right and shouldnt really have to worry about that.

If I were you, i'd try and get a hold of someone in the department of children and families in your state and explain to them your situation, and they m ay be able to help you with legal assistance or give you some direction as to what steps to take.

Good luck, and I hope you have a beautiful baby!

Quoting Jjnicole330:“ I wouldn't want him or his family anywhere near my child. They sound like low lifes. There is nothing ... [snip!] ... going to help you fight them off if necessary? I hope so. You are obviously more balanced than they could ever dream of being.”

Yes, they are. My mom has already gone through the whole custody thing before when she divorced my dad so we're not dumb. I remember going to the court hearings and meetings when I was little so I already have an idea how the process works.. I just pray that our court has a mandatory rule that the homes have to be checked before any hearing starts.. I've heard of social workers doing investigations like that at random so hopefully they do that with this case too because they would find right off the bat, problems with them.

All i can say is keep all the emails and logs of all your messages. battle it out if you can, your child will appreciate it. if you can try to make custody arrangements. good luck..im sorry you have to go through all this, and you seem that this experience has matured you quite a bit.

Quoting aryn12205:“ You really have a lot on your plate, hon. I can't imagine what emotional havoc you must be going through. ... [snip!] ... environment for this child to come home to, then you really don't have anything to worry about it in regards to custody issues.”

I'm tougher than nails when I have to, and this is the biggest time for that, that I may have to go through in the next decade or more. I may be pregnant, but the whole "you're pregnant so you're over emotional" bull doesn't adhere to everyone, including me. I may get flush and cry sometimes but I don't go off screaming and crying like this crazied bitch that they are trying to make other people think I am..

In Ohio, like any other state, a person would have to completely PROVE that the mother is unfit to raise the child, otherwise the system won't waste their breathe on you. For pete's sake, I'm already eligable to graduate and start college! I have my college tutition paid for too. His mom didn't even bother trying to graduate. She dropped out at 16!! And she KNEW FOR A FACT that Rodney was lieing and cheating.. She let all three of her kids do whatever the hell they wanted pretty much. All three, plus her and her husband smoke heavily.. She'd cover for other kids to go out drinking and shit with wild abandon whenever.. She tried to force me to think that I should marry his ass right off the bat for at least 2 months before I left him. We were only together for 6 months. I would get to the point where I had to walk away and almost walked home and called the cops on her. I don't believe in getting married to some jackass just because you get pregnant..

Quoting Toaster Strudel:“ All i can say is keep all the emails and logs of all your messages. battle it out if you can, your child ... [snip!] ... good luck..im sorry you have to go through all this, and you seem that this experience has matured you quite a bit.”

I started to save the messages on my messenger a few weeks before I said it was over so I have somewhat proof, but it would've been better for me to have started saving them months ago when he'd tell me those stories. I have saved the emails I got on myspace that involved this so I will be printing those and also keep them on there in the save folder. Thank you, and yes it has. I've always been a naturally mature person since I was young and I have always viewed that everything you experience in your life you shouldn't regret, but learn from it.

Quoting Missy Blunt Lisa Jewel:“ WOW! Sorry about your situation. I do however, commend you tremendously for stepping up and acctually ... [snip!] ... with legal assistance or give you some direction as to what steps to take. Good luck, and I hope you have a beautiful baby!”

Thank you.. I'm not the kind of person to just let somebody get their way no matter how much they whine and cry. I don't have anything on my records at all except for a mere school fight. (someone said they'd hurt my nephew after he was born b/c they "get what they want" and then started calling me fat and a wuss so I decked her) He, however, most likely has a very extensive driving record and hes only had his license for a little over a year.. He also has claimed that he used to smoke pot and got into trouble with the cops alot. Also, he said he (supposedly) got caught with marjiuana in his truck and then took off from the cops and got away threw a corn field (which is most likely a lie). He also claimed that his mom told him to get some marjiuana seeds from behind their previous rental home when they moved and to plant them to "see if they'll grow." I have never even so much as thought about trying drugs or smoking, though I will admit I have drank before but for pete's sake I was 3 and thought it was root beer   Other than that I have drank on occuasion but ALONE at HOME and when I did I was having serious issues with insomnia, a single beer helped me relax enough to at least get a few hours of sleep. I would even go a week without sleep sometimes.. Though my GPA did go up when that happened Lol

And I don't worry about people coming into my home to visit at random because its always clean and picked up. I'm homeschooled online also and I will remain in that program until the end of my junior year. If I chose to, I can easily take the program again for my senior year if I need to and its free. Theres no possible way that the state of Ohio will give anyone but the mother full custody without a good enough reason to just like you said. Ohio is very strict about our laws especially when theres innocent children involved and like I've said, my family has been there - done that with custody hearings. I've already spoke with a social worker but I need to again to update her on the findings.. We are pressing for child support eventually, so why the hell would I NOT put his name on there. And even if I didn't and they did the DNA test wouldn't that only mean he would have no way of getting out of child support?! That wouldn't give a guy full custody!

Quoting Kt10:“ Yes, they are. My mom has already gone through the whole custody thing before when she divorced my dad ... [snip!] ... like that at random so hopefully they do that with this case too because they would find right off the bat, problems with them.”

Well, I wish you the best of luck. I could not imagine being in tht kind of situation.