Kids & cleaning..

I'm at the end of my rope! I have a 4 year old daughter( I do not consider her a toddler anymore).. she used to pick up her toys when I asked and now whenever I ask her to pick up her toys or her room, she will tell me that she doesn't feel good, or her tummy hurts or she has to pee... it's one excuse after another... I've tried to reward her with candy or toys... ANYTHING... I've taken away her TV, movies, and still I get nothing... How do you ladies get your children to clean? I'm going crazy and I'm almost 37 weeks(tomorrow) and I can't bend over anymore! hahahah....   Any advice is GREAT! Thanks.

You refuse to clean up, your toys get bagged and put on the curb in my house.Mom can sneak out and get any really good things out of it later and work them back into the mix on the downlow, but the shock of actually having to take a bag of toys out to the garbage can ONCE is all it took for Jaden to shape up and fly straight. Definitely don't reward her- she's supposed to pick up her toys. It's do it or punishment, not do it and treat.

tell them if they aren't going to pick up the toys that you are going to throw them away. if they think you are lying, get out a trash bag and put them in. if by that point it doesn't work, set it out by the trash...but at the end of the night go and just put the bag of toys in the basement or a closet where the child won't think to look. after a few days start putting out a few here and there and see if it worked or not.

I have the same problem with my 4 yr old daughter. However, I'm not big, yet. So, I have started packing toys in boxes and putting them in the gameroom, taped. She has less toys now, in her room, than she's had in about 2 yrs. Unfortunately, she still has a room full. *watching*

Quoting jnazmom:“ You refuse to clean up, your toys get bagged and put on the curb in my house.Mom can sneak out and get ... [snip!] ... fly straight. Definitely don't reward her- she's supposed to pick up her toys. It's do it or punishment, not do it and treat.”

LOL I've done that too... She's got a tote of toys hidden in the kitchen pantry...   She acts like she doesn't care.... I swear she's going to be just as lazy as her daddy.....  

Quoting ♥B♥:“ I'm at the end of my rope! I have a 4 year old daughter( I do not consider her a toddler anymore).. she ... [snip!] ... I'm going crazy and I'm almost 37 weeks(tomorrow) and I can't bend over anymore! hahahah....   Any advice is GREAT! Thanks.”

I walk into Maddy's room with a giant black trash bag and start picking things up. When you do it dont say anything. When she asks tell her you are picking them up so you can donate them to Goodwill. She will flip!
Maddy would care more if I gaver her toys away to someone else than if I would have said I was throwing them out. It works for us.
 

Haha... and I just turned the tv off and sent her to her room... and she slammed the door at me...   I fear the teenage years.....

toy in garbage, yes! That's a classic!  

Quoting Kelli Jo (AB-) CCL!:“ I walk into Maddy's room with a giant black trash bag and start picking things up. When you do it ... [snip!] ... care more if I gaver her toys away to someone else than if I would have said I was throwing them out. It works for us.  ”

I really would give my daughter's toys away before I throw them in the trash!

I am still struggling with my youngest (though the end of this pg is working a bit due to the fact she wants to help.) But this is after alot of battles honestly and she is 8. Don't get me wrong she will help with anything and everything but when it came to her room...shewasn't pickign it up. DD #2 would pick up andDD#3 would slack. This is why we bought a house where they can all have their own rooms!...yay! I am thinking once baby gets here my dd will help out more. LO's seem to like to feel as though they have contributed. Just keep encouraging her to be your little helper.I tell mine it makes mommy so happy...and..what would I do without you? I hope it gets easier for ya. That may be what helps me thoughis the praising the ones that do help in front of my lil stubborn head...which is no help to you  Thanx for nothign huh?lol

Quoting ♥B♥:“ Haha... and I just turned the tv off and sent her to her room... and she slammed the door at me...   I fear the teenage years.....”

It kind of sounds like there's more to it than her just not picking up. She's got a bit of a respect problem as well if she's slamming her door on top of the fact that she won't do as she's told. Every kid goes through their "I don't care, do whatever" phases. It's a matter of figuring out what is really important to them at that one moment. A toy she's been playing with more? A book? An activity that she's been asking to do? A treat or certain snack? There has to be something she cares about and target your punishment to that one thing, even if it seems silly.

Quoting Alexis'mom:“ I really would give my daughter's toys away before I throw them in the trash!”

I would too, but Maddy is such a spoiled brat the thought of some other kid playing with her toys drives her crazy.
 

Quoting jnazmom:“ It kind of sounds like there's more to it than her just not picking up. She's got a bit of a respect ... [snip!] ... certain snack? There has to be something she cares about and target your punishment to that one thing, even if it seems silly.”

Hmm... How would I go about fixing a respect problem? I honestly feel she is too spoiled for her own good... She's picking up now, but I'm sure that's because she didn't want to sit in her room all day and cry... I can't even get this kid to eat at dinner time... I feel like a bad mother some days...

Quoting ♥B♥:“ Hmm... How would I go about fixing a respect problem? I honestly feel she is too spoiled for her own ... [snip!] ... to sit in her room all day and cry... I can't even get this kid to eat at dinner time... I feel like a bad mother some days...”

I can't even imagine how tired you must be in the home stretch of a pregnancy and a challenging one at home! It's really all about consistency. It's not asking them to do something and hoping they say yes- it's telling them to do something and having consequences for not listening. Jaden went through a booger phase and we did this thing where we put up charts and made things "cost" two dollars. You can use play money or whatever but we used pirate coins because Jaden was into it. There's a Happy Chart with things she's supposed to do- picking up, making her bed, clearing the table, helping with chores or whatever. There's a Sad Chart- throwing tantrums, not listening, talking back, etc. Each thing is two dollars. Every offense is minus two, every good thing is plus two and you take it in or out of a box at that moment every time. There's also a Reward Chart and it's everything other than basic toys and books- TV, video games if she's allowed, trips to the park, an extra 15 minutes staying up, etc. She has to buy her above and beyond priviledges.

It was great with Jaden because it was just him battling himself and not me. The power struggle went away because if he lost six dollars in a row because I had to repeat myself three times for him to clean up, then that was his own fault and I'd tell him so. You still have to be consistent. If I asked him to pick up his toys and he didn't jump to do it or started to complain, it was two for not listening. If he hopped to and did it right away, it was immediately two for good listening.

Quoting jnazmom:“ I can't even imagine how tired you must be in the home stretch of a pregnancy and a challenging one ... [snip!] ... to complain, it was two for not listening. If he hopped to and did it right away, it was immediately two for good listening.”

That sounds like a good idea... I might try something like that...