re: Has anyone had to give birth at 20 weeks? UPDATE

let us know what happens n just pray that everything will be okay.

I am so sorry to hear about that. I, too, have lost a baby late in pregnancy. Not under your circumstances, but I was 28 weeks when my little boy quit moving. I called my doctor and told her he hadn't moved in 24 hours and she sent me to the ER for an emergency scan. When the tech looked at it, she told me he was breech and there was no heart activity. His heart had just stopped beating. We never found out why. I gave birth to him, vaginally and it took almost two days. The hardest thing for me was that I knew he was gone and he would not be coming home with me. He weight 2lbs 9oz and was 16 in. long. The hospital told me we would have to take care of him as far as a funeral, because he was too big. It was very bittersweet, I did get to see him andhold him and spend a little time with him, it just wasn't enough. Just know that the pain will ease but will never go away. Losing a child, no matter at what stage you are is a tremendous pain that we can never get over. I'm so sorry to hear that this is your first, just don't close the door on more children, I know that's probably the furthest thing from your mind right now, but I had already decided, after he was born, that I would not totally close the door on more children. My son, Aidan, was my second pregnancy. I have a four year old daughter who asks questions about him constantly and we visit his grave a few times a week. Don't give up hope and if you need to talk, I'm here. The bigges thing you need now, is encouragement, understanding, and support!! Let people be there for you and don't isolate yourself. I did and suffered tremendous emotional problems for a while. Just surround yourself with family and friends and let them take care of you. My prayers are with you and I'm here ifyou have any other questions or just want to vent.
Tammilee32@comcast.net

You and your baby are in my prayers... please let us know what happens!

im so sorry for you!i have heard about the 21 wk baby surviving which sum1 already mentioned however this baby already has something severley wrong with it and even if a miricle did happen and it survived it would have severe brain abnormalities and severe breathing difficulties i think it would be unfair to hope for this baby to survive becuase it would be so severly disabled i believe it would be cruel....i am so sorry for you and your great loss the only thing i can think to say is that i hope you get through this the best you can my heart goes out to you xxx

Well it's been almost 2 weeks since I gave birth to baby Kaden. I'm still waiting on the autopsy and the chromosome test. It was a bittersweet experience. He looked so perfect, beautiful little face, hands feet, nails on his fingers and toes. The nurses took pictures of him and we had him cremated and brought him home in a tiny urn. The hospital, doctors and nurses were great. I just miss my baby.

We're going to try again in 3 months. Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes.

aw i'm glad to see you posted! i've been wondering about you....hoping everything was ok

tparke wrote: Well it's been almost 2 weeks since I gave birth to baby Kaden. I'm still waiting on the autopsy and the chromosome test. It was a bittersweet experience. He looked so perfect, beautiful little face, hands feet, nails on his fingers and toes. The nurses took pictures of him and we had him cremated and brought him home in a tiny urn. The hospital, doctors and nurses were great. I just miss my baby.

We're going to try again in 3 months. Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes.

tparke,
I´d been wondering about you. It nice to have news, even though bitter sweet. I´m glad you had a chance to hold your baby. He is looking down on his ma and pa and knows that you loved him.
Anything we can do to help, we are here. Stay strong, you are in my thoughts.

I'm hanging in there, each day gets a little easier than the previous one.

I lay in bed at night and go through the whole birth process in my mind, wondering what I could have done differently. Wishing I could hold him again for just a little while.

I feel a bit cheated. The 5 months I was pregnant seemed to crawl and now I am not pregnant, don't have a baby at home to love and care for and have to face another round of fertility drugs.

I'm feeling sorry for myself and need my butt kicked.

I have a wonderful, loving, handsome, sweet, funny husband, lots of friends and family who love me and my health. (I'm back in my pre-pregnancy clothes)

I just miss my baby boy.

tparke wrote: I'm hanging in there, each day gets a little easier than the previous one.

I lay in bed at night and go through the whole birth process in my mind, wondering what I could have done differently. Wishing I could hold him again for just a little while.

I feel a bit cheated. The 5 months I was pregnant seemed to crawl and now I am not pregnant, don't have a baby at home to love and care for and have to face another round of fertility drugs.

I'm feeling sorry for myself and need my butt kicked.

I have a wonderful, loving, handsome, sweet, funny husband, lots of friends and family who love me and my health. (I'm back in my pre-pregnancy clothes)

I just miss my baby boy.

You don't need a kick in the butt, you need to be able to grieve and allow your self that. You went threw a difficult thing. It is understandable. I am so sorry for your loss. I know I can't say anything to help with the pain, but you are not alone. We care about you and take all the time in the world and let out how you are feeling. Different emotions will come and go, take your time. There is no "time" that it takes to over come something like this. Every day is another day that you have to deal with the pain. We will be here for you.

tparke wrote: I'm hanging in there, each day gets a little easier than the previous one.

I lay in bed at night and go through the whole birth process in my mind, wondering what I could have done differently. Wishing I could hold him again for just a little while.

I feel a bit cheated. The 5 months I was pregnant seemed to crawl and now I am not pregnant, don't have a baby at home to love and care for and have to face another round of fertility drugs.

I'm feeling sorry for myself and need my butt kicked.

I have a wonderful, loving, handsome, sweet, funny husband, lots of friends and family who love me and my health. (I'm back in my pre-pregnancy clothes)

I just miss my baby boy.

you don't need your butt kicked! you just went through a horribly traumatic experience! everyone needs time to heal. try not to put blame on yourself. i'm sure there was nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening unless you just didn't get pregnant! but you have no chance of a healthy happy baby if you don't at least try for one. and like you said, time will help. although you'll never forget about your little one....time helps you to not hurt so badly. some days may be worse than others, but its all normal.

just let us all know if theres anything we can do to help you. if you need someone to vent to....you know this whole forum is here! we all care. we were all asking about you worrying when we hadn't seen you on in a while.

Thanks guys! My boss keeps asking me if I have a cape and I say no. She then says, they stop trying to be superwoman! LOL!

I'm hanging in there, I have some rough moments and I just ache and hurt. Replay everything in my mind over and over.

I'm hoping hubby and I can go for a long drive this weekend and enjoy some of the beautiful spring weather we've been having.

God bless you guys.

i have to tell you tparke, i continued to check this forum almost daily just waiting for your reply to your post. im glad you updated us all. So sorry to hear about your loss.. i couldnt imagine going through that. Your strength amazes me. Just remember to allow yourself the time to heal. & just think now you have a handsome little angel watching over you. may god be with you. please keep us updated on how your doing. my prayers are with you and your family.

I just moved from Florida and a lady there had gone into premature labor at either 21 or 22weeks and the baby survived. Just pray a lot. The doctor's can only do so much then it is out of our hands. I will keep u and ur baby in my thoughts!

I just wanted to give you all an update. The reason I'm posting this information is because if any of you have questions about why your later-term babies died or had problems and your doctors weren't able to tell you, I would encourage you to pursue answers for your own peace of mind.

I had Kaden on March 30th and since then the pathology reports came in and we saw a genetic counselor yesterday. Our baby was born with many problems, his kidneys were cystic, he had no rectum or anus, his bladder was mis-shapen, etc. He also didn't have any amniotic fluid around him.

The hospital did an autopsy and a test to see if what was wrong with him was chromosomes or genetic or what. Basically we found out that his chromosomes did not cause his problems. The pathologist and genetic counselor ran all of his problems through a database to see if there was a syndrome or genetic condition that he fit into and he didn't fit anything. Cystic kidneys are a VERY hereditary condition so we also had our kidney's ultrasounded to check for cysts and we were fine.

The genetic counselor maped out our familes from our parents to our nieces and nephews and she said that we have nothing abnormal in our family history that would lead her to think that we would have a reocurrence of our babies problems. So we're basically down to the theory that when that lower abdominal area was forming, something went haywire and he didn't form correctly. Their collective (all the doctors) opinion is that it was just bad luck and shouldn't happen again. We have a 3 - 5% chance of a reoccurrence.

I know that I'll have some much earlier ultrasounds and several more of them than a non-high risk pregnancy the next time I get pregnant to check the baby all the way along until at least 24 weeks or so.

Basically what I want you to get out of this is to check ALL your options and find out what ever you can about your baby and your own health before you start trying again so that you don't worry or risk having it happen again. I burst into tears yesterday after our ultrasounds because I was so relieved.

Thanks for reading my loonnngg post!

o god hun i bet you are happy!!! Thats great news. Any idea when your gann start tryen again?