Doula

This is my first baby and I'm considering using a doula. Did any of you all use a doula? What was your experience? What did DH/BD think of having a "stranger" stepping in and helping?

I am having my mom there....she is a labour and delivery nurse. I did some research about doulas, and my only aprehesion was that they don't train very long, so I guess you have to decide if you want to spend that money for someone that may only have had a weekend course.
But I can see why you would want it.......we can use all the suport we can get!

I'm not into to all this new age stuff. Get me to the hospital where the doctors are and lets go!!!

Quoting Arly-R [HBC]:“ I'm not into to all this new age stuff. Get me to the hospital where the doctors are and lets go!!!”

It isn't new age, they are just an addition to the regular medical team......kinda like a coach, chearing you on and reminding you of good pushing stratagies etc.

Quoting Anna L:“ It isn't new age, they are just an addition to the regular medical team......kinda like a coach, chearing you on and reminding you of good pushing stratagies etc.”

Oh. But still? Why another stranger in the room? You have your man, another coach (mom maybe), a doctor, and a few nurses. I had like 3 or 4 nurses in the room both times if I remember correctly. How many more do you need? (Not you but you know what I mean) And you have to pay them to be there too??? No thanks I'm good! LOL!

I feel the same way, but my SIL in having one, and I feel like if it is right for you do it!!!! your birth plan is your birth plan.......do what feels right!

My first LandD we didnt have a doula.

My 2nd LandD we did have a doula...my sister was my doula (and she had no formal training but did research extensivly on helping me to make my natural labor the best it could be) and it was wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that she was there when my 3rd was born as well as my doula.


I didnt feel as if having a doula there took away from the experience, it in fact added *so much* to it and my husband was put at ease (and him and my sister dont always see eye to eye on many things) and it was nice to have the2 of them "tag teaming" to help me out during my labors. I think especially if you want to experience labor w/o any of the common interventions a doula is the way to go!

This time around my sister will be very close to her due date (I am due a month before her!) and she is just going to relax, take pictures and soak everything in for when her big day comes. I do plan on having 2 close friends be my doulas (they are sisters and I just couldnt have one w/o the other!) and my DH's "job" will be to support me as well as tend to our 3 other children (I am having another homebirth) . My midwife recommends that we get a doula (surprised her in telling her we had 2 lined up!) and thinks that they are a wonderful addition.

So good luck! My doula experience was great! And I also know people who have gone with a DONA certified doula and really enjoyed that route as well. (Which I have no problem with except that my sister was free and the 2 mamas I have this time around have both given birth several times before so they know exactly what to do or not to do.)

Quoting Arly-R [HBC]:“ Oh. But still? Why another stranger in the room? You have your man, another coach (mom maybe), a doctor, ... [snip!] ... many more do you need? (Not you but you know what I mean) And you have to pay them to be there too??? No thanks I'm good! LOL!”

It depends what you want for your birth. For me, I got a doula for my hospital birth because I wanted to go all natural and knew that I would need my husband and *another set of hands* to tend to me...get me water to drink, massage me, talk to the nurse/Ob whoever while the other massaged me and what not. I am not saying a person who doesnt go the natural route can or should not have a doula, but what I wanted was to go all natural and felt given my first LandD experience (w/o a doula) that having one was to give me what I needed. Nothing new-age about it.  

Quoting JEM79:“ It depends what you want for your birth. For me, I got a doula for my hospital birth because I wanted ... [snip!] ... given my first LandD experience (w/o a doula) that having one was to give me what I needed. Nothing new-age about it.  ”

How was your sister considered to be a Doula if she had no training? Maybe I'm not really sure what a Doula is then.

It is my understanding that you have to be certified to call yourself a doula, Have a family member there is just that.....they are coach, but not the same....I could be wrong but I guess then I am having a Doula, cuz my mom will be there to help coach..... good luck with you decision....go with your instincts!

Well I had my husband and my mom there with me and she was really rooting for me too. Is that what Doula's do? Just there to encourage you and stuff?

Quoting Arly-R [HBC]:“ How was your sister considered to be a Doula if she had no training? Maybe I'm not really sure what a Doula is then.”

Anybody who supports you during labor does not need training persay...just knowledge of what you want for your birth experience and how to best help you achieve it. This can mean anything from massaging you and encouraging you through contractions to being the "go between" with you and the nurses/OB while your husband stands in so you or your DH dont have to worry about your wishes being respected. (For instance, I didnt want random nurses coming in and out and asking me if I wanted an epidural...my sister would stop them when they came in and say that I was doing a great job and please not to offer me pain meds...most of the times they apparently rolled their eyes and walked out since that is what they were going to ask in the first place apparently)

And there are "official" doulas who go through a training program that is DONA certified in birth and post partum care ( http://www.dona.org/ ) and are for hire for women who perhaps have no family/close friends in the area where they will be birthing and want that extra touch and support during their birth and maybe post partum as well. I think in the perfect world each woman would be able to have a close friend or family member there to do these very things (which if your mom does this for you, that is great!) but since many pregnant mamas live far away from those they are closest too, hiring a doula is a great way to get that support/special care throughout the process when otherwise they might not get it. (And not to say that daddy's cant help a lot, because they can...but both my DH and I agree that having a womans touch on me during labor is so soothing to us both...not only does it "take the pressure" off of him but I love having him stand by and be relaxed throughout the process since its his personality to worry about "doing it right" if that makes sense)

Quoting JEM79:“ My first LandD we didnt have a doula. My 2nd LandD we did have a doula...my sister was my doula (and ... [snip!] ... the 2 mamas I have this time around have both given birth several times before so they know exactly what to do or not to do.)”

Thanks! :-) I'm parenttanking you just incase I have questions in the future. I just spoke to DH about having a doula present. I think it would be nice for him, he wishes he could just be in the waiting room and come in when all the work is done. I'm afraid that one or both would become overly stressed during the process if it were just us in the room. The only other person I would feel comfortable having would be my mom, but she can be a bit overbearing at times.

Quoting nwatermelonsugar:“ Thanks! :-) I'm parenttanking you just incase I have questions in the future. I just spoke to DH about ... [snip!] ... in the room. The only other person I would feel comfortable having would be my mom, but she can be a bit overbearing at times.”

No way will my also very overbearing (not to mention having her masters degree in nursing so she thinks she "knows it all" ) mom be there either, blech!

And another thing about if you hire a doula...being a first time mama yourself, they will know lots of things and think of lots of things that never even crossed your mind, lol! Seriously, I really advocate having somebody else (whether hired or like I did, having a close family member who knows your wishes) to advocate/support you other than DH. We both agree that the births of our children when we had a doula present made it a more intimate experience between the 2 of us than not.  

Oh and sometimes there will be a doula super close to finishing up her training who is able to offer her services for free if that is something you are ok with doing as well.