re: So Now What?

Quoting Merk:“ oh god no, im not thinking about an abortion, its not even what hes asking. he just realized now that ... [snip!] ... and he was all about it he doesnt want to break up and hes gonna do what hes gotta do i guess but he just doesnt want too.”

Then theres nothing you can really do, that I can think of, try and get him into it, look at baby clothes, talk to him, address his concerns, then I dunno? Good luck though!

Quoting Merk:“ not far at all. 4 and a half weeks.”

OK, yeah...I am totally retarded. I suppose it's not too late for an abortion if that's something you are ok with. But I think that's crazy b/c you both decided to do this and CONCIOUSLY made the decision to conceive. It's not fair at all to the baby. All that matters with this question is what you want, and what you can live with not regretting. If raising a baby is not something you want to do alone, I would concider adoption....like I said there are many couples that would DIE to have a baby coming.

Quoting chanya:“ kinda late now, isnt' it?”

 

i just dont know what to do, shut him out of the whole process since thats what he wants, and see if he changes or tries to get in.

or make him go to appointments and ultrasounds and see if he changes when he acutally sees the baby.
i just dont want to force him into anything.

hes not trying to be rude or anything, and he keep apologizing but its just not what he wants he says.

Sounds like he's just freaking out -

He has nine months to get used to the idea though...  

sounds like he is just scared. give him time. make him go to your first u/s and he will change his mind when he sees the baby. all guys freak out, mine still does and im 26 weeks

Quoting Merk:“ So my guy. Has been great ever since my first pregnancy. He was upset about the miscarriage Tried to ... [snip!] ... tells me this is def not what he wants. that he wants to be with me, and loves me, but doesnt want this baby... So Now What?”

Now you tell him he's a piece of shit.

Don't force him to do anything. If he wants to be a part of it that needs to be a decision he makes.
You guys were trying right? I know in your profile it says that you guys decided to wait for a few years but I thought I remember you saying that you were ttc.

Quoting Merk:“ i just dont know what to do, shut him out of the whole process since thats what he wants, and see if ... [snip!] ... him into anything. hes not trying to be rude or anything, and he keep apologizing but its just not what he wants he says.”

Tell him that you understand him and that he is entitled to change his mind BUT that you are in this 100% now with or without him. Tell him you hope he chooses to be involved for the baby's sake and invite him to your first ultrasound (but don't make him or guilt him into it). If after he sees and hears teh heart beating, he's still distant with it, then I would tell him that you two being a "couple" through this won't work for you b/c you need somoene that is more supportive. Tell him he can be there as much as possible and all he likes for baby when he/she comes. On the other hand, he could see the ultrasound and get totally excited to be a dad and seing the baby moving will make it all real and he will want it as much as you.

Quoting Toria ♥:“ sounds like he is just scared. give him time. make him go to your first u/s and he will change his mind when he sees the baby. all guys freak out, mine still does and im 26 weeks”

Lol! Mine didn't! I was the one who freaked out.

Quoting msplainjane:“ Don't force him to do anything. If he wants to be a part of it that needs to be a decision he makes. ... [snip!] ... in your profile it says that you guys decided to wait for a few years but I thought I remember you saying that you were ttc.”

first we were trying, then we decided to just let things happen. we wanted it we just didnt want to have to deal with the stress of actually ttc now, we wanted to see if it would happen on its own. and it did, its not like we were trying to stop it. and we were happy when we found out

how old are you both??

Quoting Heidi May:“ Tell him that you understand him and that he is entitled to change his mind BUT that you are in this ... [snip!] ... and get totally excited to be a dad and seing the baby moving will make it all real and he will want it as much as you.”

thats good.
i just dont want to break up, neither does he.
then again, it would suck to be a kid with a family that doesnt completely love he/she.

Quoting Toria ♥:“ how old are you both??”

20 and 25

Quoting Merk:“ thats good. i just dont want to break up, neither does he. then again, it would suck to be a kid with a family that doesnt completely love he/she.”

Yeah that definitely wouldn't be fair to the baby.