They say I'm stupid, I say I'm being responsible

The first thing my mother could say when she found out I was pregnant and I quote " I'll take you to get an abortion , I'll pay for it, and we'll go on like normal. "

I couldn't help but think, what the heck is so normal about getting an abortion and acting like it never happened. [ I'm not bashing any one who ever had an abortion because I am pro-choice myself please read further to see what I mean. ] So do tell me , is my mother such a bad alcoholic that she can truely believe an abortion will set everything right??? The answer is yes.

Before I go any further please be aware that I have a wonderful fiance who has just enlisted into the Army Reserves and a semi-supportive father [ he's supportive whenever my mother isnt breathing down his neck about me having a baby ] , also I'm 18 yrs old and I still plan on continuing my schooling.

For a week and some change my fiance and I had to hear and tolerate my mother's constant offer to pay for my abortion. That also came with her great advice that I would be a terrible mother, I'm too young, My fiance was going to leave me behind and that it's embarrassing for her to live with.

So at one point in my very emotional state things got heated and I told her I'd get a damn abortion and for her to frock off and stay outta my chaotic life. I really thought I'd go through with it, the abortion and allbut thenI thought about how a good majority of my grandparents and my friends parents and grand parents had them at a young age and made things work.

Instead of getting an abortion, I applied for Section 8 [ which i dont plan on being for the rest of my life, just a boost I need to support myself whilst my fiance is away ], W.I.C , Food stamps , every kind of help I could recieve I applied for with the hope of improving my chances for bringing in another life to this planet. I also work a little part-time job at BB&B and the money I make I dont even see, its goes straight into my baby's account. I went school searching and found an adult night school thatll start in september and end in january, that will help me get my high school diploma and still have time to apply for colleges while beginning my 3rd trimester.

The little money I have saved up, goes into gas [ thank god prices have dropped 40 cents and is only $3.43 but still thats alot ] that way I can go to school and to doctor appointments. I know theres going to be a 3 month period where I will be completely alone and have to fend for myself, but why should I get catergorized with everyone other teenage mom as a bad mother, when infact I think I'm going about things the responisble way.

I had sex, I got pregnant, I want this child. SO I should take the right course of action and grow up. Because believe me, I've thought about the partying and the late nights and the hanging out with my friends and how much I'll more then likely miss it. But there's a new path where partying means birthday parties and baptism parties, kindergarten graduations, late nights mean staying up snuggling with my baby watching movies waiting for dad to get home, friends mean making friends with your childs best friends mom and setting up play dates. God placed my child here because apparently he thinks I'm ready...So Here I am , a teenager, not knowing everything and even frighten that I'll be a terrible mother, but its my duty to be the complete opposite. It's my responsibility to grow up and raise my child. And in my mother's eyes...That's what makes me stupid.

im totally behind you on this...I was 18, out of high school and pretty much careless.

My mom not only kicked me out, but she told me that she'd take me to get an abortion and just tell my boyfrien that i miscarried, he'd never know...

so i didnt talk to her or have any contact for 9 months...we both stepped up and took charge for our actions and now im 19, he's 21 and have a beautiful 5 month old son...I admit it was stupid and i miss the childhood i hadnt yet fulfilled but I love my son to death

parents that act like that are insane...they shouldnt treat you like that for a mistake.


So congrats on the baby

Girl, you deserve a round of applause!

You seem like you have a really good head on your shoulders and you have things pretty much figured out. I'm impressed actually. Good job Chick.

Quoting Lovely Lynn:“ The first thing my mother could say when she found out I was pregnant and I quote " I'll take you to ... [snip!] ... complete opposite. It's my responsibility to grow up and raise my child. And in my mother's eyes...That's what makes me stupid.”

Aww I think you are a beautiful young woman, inside and out, and the fact that you want it so badly I think means that you will be a wonderful mother! You are doing all of the right things, good luck to you! Being a mommy is the best thing ever. I have made friends with people I never though possible, including one from highschool I never spoke to until we ended up at the same OB/GYN! Now we're good friends!

Provided you actually do all the things you say and not just give up because it's too hard then yes your mother is wrong. She shouldn't judge you based on other peoples mistakes and can only go on your behaviour that you have shown to her in the past. Understand it won't be easy, hell, it's hard for ALL first time mums, but ask for help if you need it from agencies in your country and don't use TV as a babysitter for your child and you'll be great. Even married women in thier 30's fuck up. Don't beat yourself up about it when it happens and keep positive. Ignore mum and use her skeptisism as your motivation to succeed.

Quoting Lovely Lynn:“ The first thing my mother could say when she found out I was pregnant and I quote " I'll take you to ... [snip!] ... complete opposite. It's my responsibility to grow up and raise my child. And in my mother's eyes...That's what makes me stupid.”

by the sound of your post you have thought about the situation you have found yourself in.. you have come up with a plan not only to support yourself but also your baby aswell as continuing your education...its a shame that not all teen mums can act as maturely as you have.

congrats on your pregnancy..

First off, congrats on having a baby because having a child is always a blessing, IMO. I've seen so many young girls getting pregnant at an even younger age than you and a lot of them have pulled it together and made a good life for themselves and their babies...unfortunately a few others have not. I dont think you sound like those few, it seems like you have a good head on your shoulders, and you're trying to do things right. Good luck!

Its not going to be easy but you sound like you can do this. Just dont listen to the criticism that people give, listen to your mind, heart, and soul and your baby will grow up to be a wonderful child, adult and they'll grow up and have kids and look back on how you raised them

it doesnt matter how old you are, just as long as you're a good parent and you know whats right


keep us updated on the sex and what you're going to name he/she


p.s, march babies rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am positive you will be an excellent mom!!!! You are smart and resourceful and I am glad you will give your baby life!!!

Oh my god......Damn girl I think you ARE ready for this baby. You sound like a very responsible young lady who will also make a very good momma. It's terrible the way your mom reacted when you told her you were pregnant. But just remember you have your fiancee by your side & I know you can make it through this w/or w/out him because you're a very strong mommy to be. You really do deserve a round of applause & give young mothers everywhere an example to follow.
Good luck w/everything....you deserve the very best in life!!!

Quoting Lovely Lynn:“ The first thing my mother could say when she found out I was pregnant and I quote " I'll take you to ... [snip!] ... complete opposite. It's my responsibility to grow up and raise my child. And in my mother's eyes...That's what makes me stupid.”

Sorry If my reply looks weird I'm typing from my blackberry but, it seems that you are very mature. If you feel that you can provide the best life possible for your baby than that's all that matters. Your mom will most likely be upset with your decision for a while but,will eventually come around. I wish you and your family all the best!

I would just like to thank everyone who responded to my post and I would like to tell you all I really appreciate the support. I was really skeptical when I wrote this post but I felt I had to put it out here and just deal with whatever anyone had to say. I do know having a baby is going to be very hard, I think about almost everytime i'm alone. But once again thank you, and good luck with all you rbabies and I wish you the best !

well, everyone else has said it, but I'll say it again, that was a well written, well thought out plan, you seem smart, and mature, and it sounds like you'll make an excelent mother, good luck!

Congrats on your pregnancy! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Just follow through with all the goals you've set for yourself and prove your mother wrong. Once again, congrats and welcome to baby gaga!

I really would like you to know that your whole outlook on your situation made me cry, all in a good way. I questioned a abortion for myself (I just found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago) but by reading what you wrote, you've actually made me much happier reminding me that this baby is a gift from God and he obviously see's a great potential in my life to be a wonderful mother. I want you to remember this one thing....You have saved my child's life.

Thank you!!
God Bless!