Is it really THAT bad?

For a guy to ask for a paternity test? I see alot of girls bitching about their baby's father's asking for a paternity test. I realize that for women who are still with the father that it can be construde as an insult (insinuating they've cheated), but for women who aren't with the father anymore, why is it so bad to prove that the father is, indeed the father?


Women have the convienence of knowing for absoloute certain that our children are ours. Men don't have that, so is it really a horrible thing for a potential father to ask for a paternity test?

if i were the guy, i'd probably ask for one. dont know why, i just would.

ETA- i would rather live my life knowing 100% for sure, because you never know who will lie to you.

I think it depends on the situation...and history.

i dont think so at all. If the roles were reversed (wouldnt THAT be great!), wouldnt women want to know? I realize that is very far fetched, but still...
It would be horrible for a father and baby to grow together and love eachother and then find out he's not the biological father.

If you break up before the baby even gets here, then Yes I'd say a paternity test is in order. I mean 9 months isn't that long and you couldn't be that devoted if you broke up in that amount of time.

depends on the sitiuation really.

if my husband ever demanded a paternity test i'd laugh and be fucking pissed because he's the only man i've ever slept with so it'd be a retarded thing for him to ask. plus both our boys look exactly like him so i dont know what crack he'd be smoking.

I got this off of babycenter.com, it seems to make pretty good sense regarding the issue...

"About half the new and expectant dads I interviewed eventually came around to admitting they had fleeting thoughts that they weren't really the baby's father. But if you ask them whether they suspect that their wife had an affair, they're insulted and hurt. On a logical level, it's a disconnect, but on an emotional level something else is going on. He's dwelling on his own inadequacies: "It's too monumental, too godlike, being part of the creation of life. Someone bigger than me must have done it."

One of the fathers I encountered was this interesting guy with bright red hair, freckles, and a crooked smile. His baby had bright red hair, freckles, and a crooked smile. And he said with a straight face, "I wonder if my wife was unfaithful." But he went on: "It just seemed — I don't know — this was too good, too miraculous to happen to me."

Quoting jamils_mommy:“ If you break up before the baby even gets here, then Yes I'd say a paternity test is in order. I mean 9 months isn't that long and you couldn't be that devoted if you broke up in that amount of time.”

what? if you break up before the baby gets here but after it's concieved the daddy is still gonna be the same....
maybe im misunderstanding but i don't get what you just said....

Quoting cadensmommy:“ what? if you break up before the baby gets here but after it's concieved the daddy is still gonna be the same.... maybe im misunderstanding but i don't get what you just said....”

I think what she might be getting at is that if the break up occurs before the baby is born there are obviously reasons behind it, that could include trust issues.

Quoting Tara Maureen:“ I think what she might be getting at is that if the break up occurs before the baby is born there are obviously reasons behind it, that could include trust issues.”

oh ok, yea probably so...
 

I know that it may be considered insulting but I also think that if you are 100% sure that he is the father then there shouldn't really be a problem. If Erick asked for one from me I would have no problem saying yes...I know he is the dad and if he feels unsure about Addie at all I would rather have him know that she is his then spend any amount of time wondering. I personally don't think that it's wrong. Could you imagine thinking that a baby was yours just to find out later after you have bonded that it isn't? I can't think of anything worse.

Quoting BeanPot822:“ I know that it may be considered insulting but I also think that if you are 100% sure that he is the ... [snip!] ... thinking that a baby was yours just to find out later after you have bonded that it isn't? I can't think of anything worse.”

I couldn't agree more!

Quoting Tara Maureen:“ For a guy to ask for a paternity test? I see alot of girls bitching about their baby's father's asking ... [snip!] ... children are ours. Men don't have that, so is it really a horrible thing for a potential father to ask for a paternity test?”

it depends on the situation. Most guys do it out of spite. They are mad they got "the wrong girl" pregnant or they don't want the baby so they are in denial. Now if the girl is "out there" then yes you need to get a test done. But if..lets say the girl and guy were together but they broke up while she was pregnant and now he wants a test.. i do think thats wrong.

But i also think that girl needs to stop trippin because if you know he's the father then go ahead and let him pay for the test and look stupid. Those test can get really expensive but if he wants it then he needs to pay for it.

My first son's donor asked for a paternity test even though he was staying at my apartment every night when my son was conceived. I had no problem at all giving it to him.
I think that every man has a right to ask fora paternity test if there is any doubt in his mind BUT if there is even a possibility then he should treat the baby as if it could be his.

Quoting Tara Maureen:“ For a guy to ask for a paternity test? I see alot of girls bitching about their baby's father's asking ... [snip!] ... children are ours. Men don't have that, so is it really a horrible thing for a potential father to ask for a paternity test?”

I would be offended if my husband asked for one, but that is simply because he should know that all the kids are his. If we were dating and there was any question or our relationship wasn't solid, then I would see him asking.