Today, I buried My Baby

This is going to be the last time I submit a post about my baby for a while.
With my first MC, I was a few weeks along I didn't know what I was looking for. I passed her in the toilet. I took losing her really hard.
I talked to the hospital today and was given the option of burying my baby with all the other babies who have passed this year, mass grave style.
I just couldn't do that. Maybe it was the thought of you not having a place of your own, or the distance of you being so far away. But I decided to go along with my previous memorial plan of laying you to rest at my parents house.
I don't know what everyone else did it but today I laid you to rest.I had found a little wooden box and in it placed the baby doll blanket that I had crocheted for the baby doll you would eventually carry with you everywhere you go. My mother placed arose that she had crafted alongside you. I gave you the one and only kiss you will ever get from me, through a glass jar.
On the box I wrote, "I will always remember you." I carefully laid you down,covered you up, and patted down the Earth. I laid a little resin sign that said 'peace' with two little doves and angel wings above to mark where you are at for now. When we were ready to leave Gabriel had peacefully walked up to where you now rest and dusted off the sign respectibly like he knew what had just happened.
As we were driving down the dirt road, butterflies. I am taking it as a sign that everything will be ok, and your soul has found it's peace.
I will start to move on with my life, I will get caught up on the housework, and I will start to use the oven when I cook again. Things will eventually get back to normal.
I wanted to name you Graciella, but I hope you don't mind me just calling you Ella. Maybe when you decide to come back we can call you that. I'm sorry I didn't tell Gabriel you were coming but I couldn't sadden his heart again. He would be an excellent big brother.
May both of you rest in peace and tonight I will let the angels tuck you in. I hope you can feel my love for you from so far away.
I will never forget the two of you Serephim and Ella.
Love forever your Mama and your big brother Gabriel.

wow tons of tears reading this one.. God Bless you  

I can't help but cry.

aww i am so sorry..this is very touching.. 

I'm so sorry....

aww honey. I'm so sorry for your loss.  This makes me so sad.

This was very well written. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry for your loss hun. This was truly heartbreaking.

So sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss  

I am so sorry for your loss.  

I am very sorry for your loss.

Quoting kc_jones78:“ This is going to be the last time I submit a post about my baby for a while. With my first MC, I was ... [snip!] ... from so far away. I will never forget the two of you Serephim and Ella. Love forever your Mama and your big brother Gabriel.”

That was simply beautiful. I'm crying again. What a day it's been. I chose today to finally post some details of my angel baby. I wish I had thought at the time to do something like you've done. I'm very sorry that this happened to you. Don't push yourself too hard about the cooking and cleaning. The world won't end if your dishes need washed, or you serve take out on paper plates. In this time of your life, you deserve to be a little selfish. Don't rush your grief.

Quoting kc_jones78:“ This is going to be the last time I submit a post about my baby for a while. With my first MC, I was ... [snip!] ... from so far away. I will never forget the two of you Serephim and Ella. Love forever your Mama and your big brother Gabriel.”

Thank you ladies for all your kind words. It really helps the day pass a little easier.