Sister Just Doesn't Get It..

So I'm 5 days away from my c-section. I'm doing my last minute stuff..getting the babies room together, packing a bag, and MOST importantly I am spending much needed alone time with my husband, my sister and my mom. It's important to me that we spend time alone together before the baby gets here, because those chances are few and far between after he gets here.

My mom and I are going to see a movie tonight, and we called my sister to see if she'd come with us. We were even planning on going to see a later movie JUST so she could make it. And she said, "No..I don't wanna go". I'm kinda hurt..and so is my mom.

I've been trying for a month to get some alone time with my sister, and we are usually very close. But she's been distant recently..and not herself. She was going back to University at the end of last year..and now she's changed her mind. She was very family oriented, and now she spends most of her time with her friends. We worked at the same job for a while, and I worked a 10 hour shift, and we got off at the same time. Instead of driving me home, she drove off to her friends house. I was 7 months pregnant at the time.

She has 5 days to get to spend together with me before everything changes..and it doesn't matter to her. And that HURTS me. She even caused drama at my babyshower by fighting with her (now) Ex.

She's only 19..and still in that selfish mode. I love her SO much..and she's a wonderful person..but sometimes can't see past her own wants and needs. Am I stupid for being so hurt by this?

Maybe she is just worried that once the baby is born she will be less important? I know it sounds crazy sibling rivalry from the baby's aunty.. but maybe she feels that you won't have any more time to spend with her so she is withdrawing from you in anticipation. Or maybe she is dealing with something else completely, all these life changes at once. 19 can be an overwhelming age.
Anyway it's not wrong to be hurt by it, but see if you can find the time to talk to her alone, openly and ask her whats bothering her. She may not want to tell you but it's worth a try.

Not at all...

but at 19 years old.... I'm not sure if she'd be able to fully understand how much of an impact her actions have on you, even if you sit her down and talk to her about it.

Nor will she be able to understand how much the little one will change things for you and her both - until baby gets here....

No you're not stupid for being hurt. ANy other person would probably be too!

You can't control her. But you can love her. She's probably going through something right now that she might not want to talk about, maybe she's jealous of your baby, who knows! Just love her, let her know you love her & spend time with her,but don't lay the guilt on her. And if she's not going through something, in a couple of years, or hopefully sooner, she'll realizeshe acted like a pain-in-the-butt, and she'll feel sorry.

You're not stupid at all!!! I'm having somewhat of a hard time too... I've grown very distant from my closest cousin that is the same age as me. I guess it's because I have to grow up and take care of my responsibilities, and she's still enjoying having none... so it's kindof hard to relate to eachother anymore. I hope things get better for you sweetie, I really do.

You are not stupid for being hurt by it, I would be too!!

Thanks

At least I don't have to feel like I'm being selfish by requesting this alone time from my loved ones. My hubby and I have special time where we just sit and cuddle and spend time with each other. My mom and I do things like go to the market, or go out for lunch, or go see a movie. Sometimes the only time I see my sister is before she goes to work (early morning) or whenever she gets home from work/friends. And then when she does get home, she goes to bed right away. I guess I should have said that she lives with me as well. By the time I get out of the hospital, she's going to have been moved out, as well. So..everything changes. And I'm still not even a priority.

I know she's going through some heavy stuff right now..her on-again/off-again boyfriend decided that he was going to start seeing someone else (even though they were "on")..and she's having a hard time deciding what to do with her life. She doesn't want to go back to university, but my mom wants her to. I think it's a good idea, since I finished my four years of university almost 3 years ago now..and I wanted to take a break but kept going anyways. She's confused..and having a hard time..but she's separating from all of us.

She hasn't visited my mom in months other than to do her laundry..and even then she doesn't stick around to spend time..just does her laundry and leaves.

I love her..I just want her to understand the consequences of her actions and what distancing herself is doing to the people who love her..