For All the Married Ladies

My Mom e-mailed me this!

This is for all the ladies in the crowd!!

Hope this doesn't offend anyone I thought these were cute! And sorta true! LOL

HEAVENLY MATRIMONY?

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
__________

A little boy asked his mom,
'Mommy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Momreplied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________

Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.'
__________
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say --
talk in your sleep.
__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage,
men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________

First gal says, 'My husband's an angel!'
Second gal remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom to understand a man;
To love and to forgive him;
and for patience for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll just beat him to death'

cute  I cant wait to get married 

Ha ha ha. Well timed. Mine's an ass today. thanks for the giggle.

LOL
Pretty much, thats how I feel right about now lol.

LOL, soooooo true  

thats true

Bahaha That's so awesome and so true. mine is still freakin asleep. i have already mopped, changed all the sheets, done five loads of laundry, changed the litter box, cleaned out the pantry and fridge and done all the dishes. oh and weeded the yard and gave the two dogs a bath. and what has he done? SNORE.... ok sorry had to get that out! lol. thanks for the laugh!

Haha. I hope I never have to feel like that when my fiance and I tie the not

THATS SOOO TRUE I LOVE THEM!

Quoting ♥ Kayla ♥:“ Haha. I hope I never have to feel like that when my fiance and I tie the not”

i think everyone does at some point..you just work through it. I think as long as you still respect eachother everything should come pretty easy..

Quoting Daniels_Mommy:“ Bahaha That's so awesome and so true. mine is still freakin asleep. i have already mopped, changed all ... [snip!] ... the yard and gave the two dogs a bath. and what has he done? SNORE.... ok sorry had to get that out! lol. thanks for the laugh!”

i think u were talking about my husband

Quoting Daniels_Mommy:“ Bahaha That's so awesome and so true. mine is still freakin asleep. i have already mopped, changed all ... [snip!] ... the yard and gave the two dogs a bath. and what has he done? SNORE.... ok sorry had to get that out! lol. thanks for the laugh!”

Amen sister!!!!! And when he gets up he'll make a mess and bitch because you're asking him to not make a mess!!!! That was my morning.

Quoting Daniels_Mommy:“ Bahaha That's so awesome and so true. mine is still freakin asleep. i have already mopped, changed all ... [snip!] ... the yard and gave the two dogs a bath. and what has he done? SNORE.... ok sorry had to get that out! lol. thanks for the laugh!”

LMAO................. Mmm your husband sounds like me, and you my fiance. I guess marriage is gonna be great..... atleast 4 me.lol  

Quoting Love My Boys:“ Amen sister!!!!! And when he gets up he'll make a mess and bitch because you're asking him to not make a mess!!!! That was my morning.”

haha...what kills me is when my husband "helps" me pick up around the house but all he does is move the mess to another room and leave it there...like that really helps! 

Quoting Sara12345:“ i think everyone does at some point..you just work through it. I think as long as you still respect eachother everything should come pretty easy..”

You're right. Thanx for the tip hun