re: For those of you who have been divorced...

Quoting mamacj:“ Oh no, I understand that completely. There have been times when I wish my current husband would pull ... [snip!] ... person in the house is complicating things. Hopefully, as an adult, he'll understand and start looking for another place.”

I have absolutely no idea why he is living with us. At first he was kind of nomadic and would stay here a lot but also visit family in Ky. and St Louis, but since Aidan was born he has become INSANELY attached and is NEVER gone.
I would have thought that his father would have gotten the idea all the times I've had to white knuckle it not to throw something at him when he questions the decisions I make regarding Aidan but no, he just stays anyway.

I'm at the point now where not only do I want him gone, but I never want to see him again... he's really even more controlling than Chris and I feel like he shouldn't have a damn thing to even say to me most of the time let alone try to tell me what to do with MY child or run MY household... I really think if I told him to leave he'd just bitch at my husband to no end and stay anyway.

Quoting *Aidan's Adoring Mommy*:“ It doesn't really have to be DIRECT action to be tramatic... the experience of just participating ... [snip!] ... because she's going through a lot of the same things and trying so hard to keep it together and keep things afloat for herself.”

yeah my husband said it's traumatic enough to have to work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, and have shitty living arrangements for 6 months. Idk I'm not a dr lol

I understand, but I think distance would be the first step. My suggestion would be to get a part time job, or find something at home so you wouldn't have to lean as much on her. Is she going to be working? Or staying at home? If she is going to stay at home I'm sure she'd love to watch Aidan or one of your sisters? Just trying to help  

Quoting +Kiwi Fruit+:“ yeah my husband said it's traumatic enough to have to work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, and have shitty ... [snip!] ... at home? If she is going to stay at home I'm sure she'd love to watch Aidan or one of your sisters? Just trying to help  ”

She'll have to be working... and so will my oldest sister (18 ) and the other one is 13 so she'll be in school. But I really would LOVE to get a job just to have SOME semblance of independence, so if I have to work in the evening and ask my sister to watch him then that would be wonderful. I just feel horrible having Aidan in the middle of all of this and wish I had a clearer vision of what my husband was expecting out of our marriage before he was born so I had SOME time to figure things out before he had to be tossed into the confusion... I know he's young but it seems sometimes like he can still feel the tension.

Quoting *Aidan's Adoring Mommy*:“ She'll have to be working... and so will my oldest sister (18 ) and the other one is 13 so she'll be ... [snip!] ... before he had to be tossed into the confusion... I know he's young but it seems sometimes like he can still feel the tension.”

they can definitely feel stress and tension.

I hope you get this resolved. Keep us updated hun!

Quoting +Kiwi Fruit+:“ they can definitely feel stress and tension. I hope you get this resolved. Keep us updated hun!”

Oh I hope so to... and since I only really have this site and the one friend I have left after getting married and having Aidan, (lol it's amazing how your "friends" scatter when you cant go party on any given night) I will surely be on here talking about whatever happens...

And I hope your husband is able to find the help he needs for whatever troubles he is facing. I know that when my dad was actively getting the help he needed things were a LOT better.

Quoting *Aidan's Adoring Mommy*:“ Oh I hope so to... and since I only really have this site and the one friend I have left after getting ... [snip!] ... for whatever troubles he is facing. I know that when my dad was actively getting the help he needed things were a LOT better.”

yes this site has helped me so much. And thanks. For the time being we are fine. I'm just wondering when the next "episode" is going to happen again.

one more thing. I hope you guys can work it out. I believe the majority of relationships can work out if BOTH parties try.

Quoting +Kiwi Fruit+:“ one more thing. I hope you guys can work it out. I believe the majority of relationships can work out if BOTH parties try.”

I believe that too... gosh I just hope he is willing to. I'm not sure what to really do if he doesn't... I've never had to give much thought to being a 21 yr old divocee before, and I sure don't know to be one...

Quoting *Aidan's Adoring Mommy*:“ If you don't mind sharing, I know it's a very personal question so i'm sorry if it crosses the line, ... [snip!] ... is just half-assing it... I'm so worried about where we're headed. I can't say I really, truely believe he even cares...”

I was married at 18.. Was a Navy wife. My ex husband was verbally/physically abusive. We moved out of state to MI where he's from when he was released from the military. Was there less than a month when he began to cheat on me with a co-worker. The abuse got worse and I knew I had to leave so 2 weeks after learning of his cheating I packed my things and went back home to California. Was finally divorced at 20.