adoption vent

Omg yesterday my husband and I were talking to his mom about our plans to adopt a baby… well she told us we were crazy and adopting a baby was stupid…considering we can have our own.. And that she would never love an adopted baby like she loves her blood grandkids… I told her I didn’t want to have anymore kids because there are so many in the world that need loving homes.. she also said we should just leave those babies for people that couldn’t have kids… It made me so mad.. I understand somewhat were she is coming from..but I mean its not like we are taking a baby away from a childless couple.. There are enough children for everyone haha. I tried to make her see were we were coming from and we tried to explain to her that the baby would grow on her..much like I did when I married her son.. I am sure she didn’t love me at 1st sight but I grew on her and now she claims to love me just like I was her own child.. Another issue she had was that we said we didn’t care what race the child was.. That really made her mad..its just so frustrating I don’t understand how someone can be so small minded.. The problem is she’s ruining our dream..ever since I was little I have said I wanted to have one child and adopt the rest.. I just wanted to experience pregnancy.. Well how can I bring a child into my home when there is so much tension about it..you know what I mean.. It breaks my heart that she’s not supportive of this…and its not like we are going tomorrow to get a child.. Its going to be a couple years.. Since we don’t meet the age requirements right now.. sorry if this is rambling or whatever.. I just needed to whine to someone..

I wouldn't care what she says, if you want to adopt then do it! She may say she'd never love it the same but I'm sure she'd learn to love it. How can you deny a child love whether it's yours or not?

ok IMO if you adopt a baby its YOUR baby , and you'd be giving that child a loving caring home....and if she cant understand that now maybe in time she will. but you and your husband would be doing a great thing for that baby.... the best gift you can give a child is love  

IMO its your choice. .dont let what she says get to you.. I understand that being a family and including everyone can be important but this is a choice for you and your husband.. do what makes you guys happy and leave her opinion at her door. good luck 

we are a very close family..we see his parents at least 3-4 timesa week and we do everything with them.. they live right next door to us.. i just dont know how she would act towards the baby.. i mean it would break my heart if she treated the adopted child different then our child by birth.. it wouldnt be fair to the child..ya know what i mean.. but she's not going to stop us from adopting.. even if we have to stop all contact with her.. i know thats harsh and i hope it doesnt come to that...but i have to do whats best for my kids.. weather they be mine by blood or by adoption..they'll come 1st.. its just really hard knowing she isnt 100 percent behind us.. i expected some drama but not with her.. haha the people i though would be upset about it are actually all for it.

Quoting *Tera*:“ we are a very close family..we see his parents at least 3-4 timesa week and we do everything with them.. ... [snip!] ... behind us.. i expected some drama but not with her.. haha the people i though would be upset about it are actually all for it.”

good luck hun 

Your MIL sounds pretty old fashioned so that just may be the thing. I thing adoption is great.. I would LOVE to adopt one day. But if she turns her back on the both of you because you're wanting to do a wonderful thing, then she's turning her back on her family. Once you adopt your child they will legally be yours, blood or not. Like you said in your previous post, you're not BLOOD to her but she claims to love you like her own. I think that's a bit hypocritical on her part.

Hopefully this won't leave a bad taste in your mouth about adoption and you'll go forward with what you feel is best and she may come around.

Good luck!

thanks for all your support.. its not going to stop us.. it just hurts not to have her support.

I think adoption is a beautiful thing.
Dont let her dissuade you if this is something you feel is right for your family.