re: Your Mom

I love my mom very much, but I would be so sad if I had the same relationship with my daughter. My mom and I get along a lot better now, but I always have to avoid certain topics if I want to keep it civil. I want my daughter to be able to tell me anything.

Perhaps I've been exposed to too much drama on this site, but my first thought when I saw the thread title "Your Mom" was the yo mama jokes.

Quoting Nyakos:“ My biological mothered died when I was infant. My legal guardian/stepmom and I are not close. I live ... [snip!] ... occasional text message with her. I never intend to let her see her grandson or to see her again for as long as she is alive.”

but.. why?

Quoting Nyakos:“ My biological mothered died when I was infant. My legal guardian/stepmom and I are not close. I live ... [snip!] ... occasional text message with her. I never intend to let her see her grandson or to see her again for as long as she is alive.”

aw i am sorry.

My mom and I were at odds for about... 26 years. She had very little patience, was heavy handed and domineering and would fly off the handle at the littlest things. My sister is dyslexic and my mom would leave me to my own devices to do her schoolwork for her and make sure she didn't fail, leaving me to align myself with my dad. They split right before I turned 14 thanks to my dad's over-interest in my pre-teen figure and my mom was instantly divorcing a pedophile she'd been married to for 20 years and raising two kids on her own. The stress made her even more volitale and I moved out when I was 18. We still weren't that close but she lightened up a lot as I got older and did my own thing. I worked full time, was mostly broke but still paved my own way.

When I was 21 she was diagnosed with breast cancer and that started a lot of apologies and wishing on her part that things had been different. She came out of that and went into remission. There were several times in my mid twenties where things weren't great- she was very standoffish and not involved in a lot of our wedding- she didn't come to the rehersal, only took a picture or two, etc. and that brought back the feelings I had when I was younger that she just could suck it up and get involved in things that were important to me. When my oldest was born, she chose to go to a random cousin's high school graduation for the weekend instead of being in town so she could meet him and it broke my heart. I ended up resenting it a lot and wrote her this huge letter where I barfed out all the emotions of feeling like she was absent from the big, good things in my life and that she wasn't very supportive. We didn't talk for a few months until once again bad news struck.

After being in remission for breast cancer, it came back in her bones four years later. I flew out to see her when she was getting surgery done to try and cut the lesion out of her spine. I was starting to really understand that I didn't need a parent anymore- just a supportive mom and friendand no matter what had happened between us over the years, the thought of losing her was unbearable. Fast forward two and a half years and the cancer is now in her liver. There is a zero percent survival rate for five years and that diagnosis was a year and a half ago. I've forgiven everything and so has she. She supports us in every decision we make, absolutely adores and dotes on her grandsons and is the one person who truly has shown me what unconditional love and support is. She gets a scan every three months to gauge how advanced the cancer is in her liver so we all just hold our breaths and hope for good news. Good news in her case is no significant growth but there will be a time very soon where the good news stops and I'll be that much closer to losing her. I can't even imagine it.

Aw honey i am so sorry. that is so so hard, i couldn't even imagine. i will be praying for her

Quoting jnazmom:“ My mom and I were at odds for about... 26 years. She had very little patience, was heavy handed and domineering ... [snip!] ... there will be a time very soon where the good news stops and I'll be that much closer to losing her. I can't even imagine it.”

Wow.. I'm so sorry..

Quoting Mavick:“ but.. why?”

Because she's a very violent severely bipolar alcoholic who I'd rather not have involved in my life at all.

I've given her many chances in the past but I decided I'd had enough when we were being chased down on the highway by state troopers on my 17th birthday after she decided to try vehicular homicide/suicide during one of her episodes.