i regret getting my tubes tied =(

i have 2 beautiful daughters ages 3 and 5 and after my youngest was born i thought to myself how in the world could i do it if i ever had another one, so i had my tubes tied... Now i am really regretting it, i even cry at times wishing that i wouldnt have rushed into making that decision.. i have never told anyone that i regret doing it because i thought i was so set on not wanting anymore kids at that time and people even told me "you are so young why dont you wait" but i didnt and now i wished i would have.. My husband said he would have liked to have a boy, but he didnt want another girl so he is happy with me having my tubes tied but i think he is just saying that to make me feel better.....but he is dead set on me not having them reversed!!!! im so sad sometimes and i wish i knew how to get over the fact that i wont ever have any more kids and i need to move on and face reality but i dont know how...

would he consider adopting a boy?

Maybe you can adopt a little boy

Quoting momof2beautifulgirls:“ i have 2 beautiful daughters ages 3 and 5 and after my youngest was born i thought to myself how in the ... [snip!] ... knew how to get over the fact that i wont ever have any more kids and i need to move on and face reality but i dont know how...”

Awww, Mama I am so sorry.   I don't know what to tell you, but I hope you find peace soon.

No2due and Kristine you read my mind!  

well why not get them reversed? and adopting can go either waay.. .its great to give a child a home and family...but i can also see how you'd want to have your own.....i think you and your hubby should talk about it, really talk see what you both really want  

he is a very difficult person to talk to. before we had children of our own we were in the process of adopting a little girl but we were in a bad accident and she had to get adopted to another couple and he said that was God's way of saying that we dont need to adopt.. he just has weird ways of looking at things... oh well maybe il find peace soon i do have 2 little girls that i love with all my heart and wouldnt trade for anything!!

Quoting momof2beautifulgirls:“ i have 2 beautiful daughters ages 3 and 5 and after my youngest was born i thought to myself how in the ... [snip!] ... knew how to get over the fact that i wont ever have any more kids and i need to move on and face reality but i dont know how...”

i had a tubal reversal ........if you would like to talk pm me

Either having a tubal reversal or adopting would be best... I understand how your husband thinks, believe it or not, my husband thinks the same way. Very much into "signs" and whatnot. You can get invitro (is that what it's called) though it's expensive, I thought they could almost promise you the sex you want.

Now, I realize this is probably not the time and place, and if you think it's rude of me simply don't answer.... what is the recovery time for having your tubes tied??

The thing is, here in Guatemala after you have three c-sections, they tie your tubes whether you want it or not. I'm told I'll need only c-sections from here on out, which sucks cause I wanted 4 kids, not 3. But the thought scares me and I'm curious as to the recovery time and any problems or side effects.

Quoting MommyRu:“ Either having a tubal reversal or adopting would be best... I understand how your husband thinks, believe ... [snip!] ... I wanted 4 kids, not 3. But the thought scares me and I'm curious as to the recovery time and any problems or side effects.”

well it only took me about 3 days to get over having it done. i didnt have it done immediate;y after my daughter was born i waited about a month.. it wasnt too bad the c-section hurts alot worse

Quoting momof2beautifulgirls:“ well it only took me about 3 days to get over having it done. i didnt have it done immediate;y after my daughter was born i waited about a month.. it wasnt too bad the c-section hurts alot worse”

Thanks for the info!

Are you going to get your tubes reversed?

Quoting MommyRu:“ Thanks for the info! Are you going to get your tubes reversed?”

well it would be nice but its just not even something my husband would consider at the moment....but if its meant to be than i guess we will find out in the future

My husband and his mom talked me into getting mine tied after my last pregnancy with my daughter in 2000, I had it done while I had my c-section. Well I regretted it so bad, and like you I couldn't really talk to him about it. Well, my oldest is 15 years old, then I have a 14 year old and a 8 year old. I'm only 32, and I wanted a large family. So over the years of major depression, I gave him an ultamatum. Either I get them reversed so I can have more, or i'm outta here. He was NOT thinking of my feelins. So after a few months of serious thought, I saw a doctor last July, then had my reversal surgery this past Jan.08, and now it's just about Sept and i'm 13 weeks pregnant, and hubby couldn't be more excited, in fact so excited, HE has bought just about everything for baby already, even a new minivan, and just surprised me this evening with one of those Graco sweetpeace center for baby. He is way more excited then I am. So who knows, but I know how you feel, and the regret and depression is bad, and it never gets any better. I pray things work out for you.

Nicole

Quoting Nicole's Baby:“ My husband and his mom talked me into getting mine tied after my last pregnancy with my daughter in 2000, ... [snip!] ... know how you feel, and the regret and depression is bad, and it never gets any better. I pray things work out for you. Nicole”

thanks and
congrats on the pregnancy =)

Quoting Nicole's Baby:“ My husband and his mom talked me into getting mine tied after my last pregnancy with my daughter in 2000, ... [snip!] ... know how you feel, and the regret and depression is bad, and it never gets any better. I pray things work out for you. Nicole”

I agree with the part about him not considering your feelings. Just like he has a right not to have kids, you have a right to have the number of kids you want! Every couple needs to compromise. Obviously I don't know you or your family, but I know too many women (including myself at one point) who want a baby but wait around on their man to give the OK. Giving him an ultimatum might work. If you would be OK with adopting, you could also try bargaining that way. (Maybe he would say OK if you agree to adopt a boy.) Either way, I hope it works out for you!

In my case, DH was not ready to have kids and eventually I saw that he would never be ready on his own. One day I just put my foot down and said I want to have a baby, and you can decide when to start but it better be within the next few months. About two months later he surprised me and said he was ready to start TTC, lol. Sometimes they just need a good kick in the rear.