Confused (vent/long/help) ha :(
295 postsposted 19th Aug
So my sperm-donor hasn't been in the picture since I told him I was pregnant..before this "fling" with Ethan (sperm donor) I was with this guy Alex for almost 2 years and we went through SO much together..maybe not the healthiest relationship but he was always there 120% WELLLLLLLLL, Alex and I are kinda back together? He's 20 and has a super good job and is in the process of getting his Masters in engineering and has a really good head on his shoulders and ugh PERFECT? He obviously knows I'm pregnant (HA) and always keeps saying he wants to be there for me and loves me still and has never gotten over me but lately he's been pulling the "He's not my kid why should I have to support him" card even though I haven't asked him ONCE to help me or support me AND baby. OH and omg so his mom gave me the nightlight she used for Alex and Alex's little brother, not that it's that big of a deal I guess but to me it was! I could understand if this was our baby but it isn't so yeah
so ugh I just don't know if anyone is dating someone other then the "real" BD and has advice on how your new boyfriend/husband/fiance/whatever plays his roll with you and your child or what, Alex is just worried he's going to "fuck up his life" by not being able to do everything he wanted to do but like, idk it's soo hard 'cause I know if by DNA this was our child he would be there ALLLLLLL the way and it's just making things very difficult idk just need some advice if you have ANY?
Thanks ladies
quoteso ugh I just don't know if anyone is dating someone other then the "real" BD and has advice on how your new boyfriend/husband/fiance/whatever plays his roll with you and your child or what, Alex is just worried he's going to "fuck up his life" by not being able to do everything he wanted to do but like, idk it's soo hard 'cause I know if by DNA this was our child he would be there ALLLLLLL the way and it's just making things very difficult idk just need some advice if you have ANY?
Thanks ladies
I have 1 child & live in San Diego, California
1630 postsposted 19th Aug
I've been with my boyfriend, Dallas since I was 6 months pregnant and My Xander baby is HIS.. no matter what! He's like I love you and I love him.. I want to do what ever I can for him even if we break up... He's just so great. He buys everything AJ needs when he needs it. He's so good to OUR son And AJ loves him to bits! lol
quoteI'm due July 10th, have 1 child & live in Monroe, Michigan
posted 19th Aug
Quoting ~HisLovingGirl~: I've been with my boyfriend, Dallas since I was 6 months pregnant and My Xander baby is HIS.. no matter ... [snip!] ... He's just so great. He buys everything AJ needs when he needs it. He's so good to OUR son And AJ loves him to bits! lol
Aw lucky you lol thank you for the success story..I feel that if Alex really "decide" to "do this" then Baby (I have to say baby 'cause I can STILL can't decide on a name lol) will know Alex as his dad and we would all be a happy family and I couldn't wait like 5 or 6 years to have a child with BOTH our dna haha but yeah I really hope this works out..we'd been broken up for a year and I think we've both drastically grown up and matured to the point where it would be fun! Not like, immature woohoo fun but like..a healthy relationship. SOMETIMES when Alex sees a baby (especially a baby boy in designer Deisel jeans) he gets all excited and squeezes me and laughs silly haha or today in the waiting room at the obgyn office he was reading the babytalk magazine learning potty-training tips lmao but how did your boyfriend adjust? Just loved you both no matter what, regaurdless of whether Xander is his? Andddd last question I swear..how did Dallas split his time with friends and you?? Especially once Xander was born?
I have 1 child & live in San Diego, California
1065 postsposted 20th Aug
So..even tho it's not biologically Alex's baby, does he want to be the baby'sdaddy? It doesn't have to be his blood to make it his baby, all he has to do is want it. He can even sign the birth certificate! Of course he will have to know that doing that legally binds him as the father and the only way to get out of that later down the road IF he wanted to (just in case of abreak up) itwould be by dna testing.If you guys are planning to stay together you can always have another baby down the road too... as long as the real bd is not in the picture AT ALL then he could probably really accept the baby as HIS
quoteI have 2 kids & live in Houston, Texas
posted 20th Aug
Quoting kellyc: So my sperm-donor hasn't been in the picture since I told him I was pregnant..before this "fling" with ... [snip!] ... ALLLLLLL the way and it's just making things very difficult idk just need some advice if you have ANY? Thanks ladies
I live in El Cajon, California
posted 20th Aug
Ugh! well maybe once the lil guy gets here....... things will change..... idk what the deal is expecially if u never asked him for help..... but i think that once its all said and done he'll end up being there his child or not..... they have a way of wrapping u aroung their tiny fingers....haha look at trent and he's only a few days old....haha i'd do anything for him!
quoteI live in El Cajon, California
871 postsposted 20th Aug
Quoting kellyc: So my sperm-donor hasn't been in the picture since I told him I was pregnant..before this "fling" with ... [snip!] ... ALLLLLLL the way and it's just making things very difficult idk just need some advice if you have ANY? Thanks ladies
My husband isn't the father of my oldest, but he treats her and does for her like she is his own. So, I have no clue what to tell you. Unless you guys are going to be serious I wouldn't talk to him about supporting you and your baby, unless its like "I really need to get this for the baby,,I will pay you back when I can", that will scare a guy off.
I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Hubert, North Carolina
379 postsposted 20th Aug
I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to say that I'm happy for you!
quoteI have 1 child & live in Dundee, Michigan
posted 20th Aug
Quoting dea: My husband isn't the father of my oldest, but he treats her and does for her like she is his own. So, ... [snip!] ... your baby, unless its like "I really need to get this for the baby,,I will pay you back when I can", that will scare a guy off.I never asked him to support me and my baby..never would want that unless he wanted to really be there for me and well..now it's not just me anymore (obviously), my son would be there too and he knows that so yeah idk
I have 1 child & live in San Diego, California
posted 20th Aug
Quoting luv~mah~boyz: So..even tho it's not biologically Alex's baby, does he want to be the baby'sdaddy? It doesn't have to ... [snip!] ... down the road too... as long as the real bd is not in the picture AT ALL then he could probably really accept the baby as HISThat's what I'm trying to figure out..like, he'll say "look he can play guitar like daddy (referring to himself)!!" when we see like, guitar toys lol so I am thinking he does? I think it's honestly just jealousy that is making him anxious thinking about my son being born. I don't think I'd go as far as putting his name on the birth certificate until we like, got married later down the road then he could adopt my son whenever he would decide to "pop the question" ..sorry if my replies are so vague, it just really is a confusing subject
I have 1 child & live in San Diego, California
posted 21st Aug
Quoting kellyc: I never asked him to support me and my baby..never would want that unless he wanted to really be there ... [snip!] ... be there for me and well..now it's not just me anymore (obviously), my son would be there too and he knows that so yeah idk
oh sorry i must have read that wrong :[
I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Hubert, North Carolina
posted 21st Aug
Quoting dea: oh sorry i must have read that wrong :[
no worries lol
I have 1 child & live in San Diego, California
posted 21st Aug
Quoting kellyc: Aw lucky you lol thank you for the success story..I feel that if Alex really "decide" to "do this" then ... [snip!] ... is his? Andddd last question I swear..how did Dallas split his time with friends and you?? Especially once Xander was born?
Well, until Jusne Dallas lives in Maumee, Ohio... 1 hour away.
But Dallas just said I love you and I love this baby (didn't have a name yet lol) I want to be a daddy so bad.. I want to be HIS daddy.
It's hard for him because Xander's donner still comes around but he adjusted fine to beind a daddy...especially after he moved here. He is a BIG help..it was hard when he lived so far.
I've told Dallas if he wants a night out just tell me. I'm fine with it. And he's a wrestler here in monroe.. and we both go and he hangs out in the locker room with all his friends and I hang out by the ring with all the other wrestlers wives,gf's, ect..
I'm due July 10th, have 1 child & live in Monroe, Michigan
posted 21st Aug
Quoting ~HisLovingGirl~:
Aw that's great, I'm just really trying to adjust to "sharing" my time with his friends because a year ago when we were dating we literally spent EVERY day together and lost a lot of our friends. SO yeah lol I'm trying to adjust
I have 1 child & live in San Diego, California
1 postsposted 26th Sep
If Alex really loves you then he should want to be there fro your child because your child has to come first. And if Alex isn't ready to help you he's not worth it because you and the baby come as a unit now and if he isn't ready to be there fully you you can't bring him in the babies life because you don't want people running in and out of your childs life. If Alex loves you he has to exept the baby because you to are the same person now.
quoteI'm due January 8th (a boy) & live in Ohio
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