...Pregnant and on the verge of separating

My boyfriend and I of 4 years are expecting- I've been extremely sick with this pregnancy, therefore, I haven't been able to help out with housework, cooking and cleaning, etc. He is basically OCD about having everything spotless and its really taking a toll on our relationship because I'm not able to do anything and he just doesn't understand how disabling my sickness has gotten. He gets so angry with me, constantly calls me to make sure I'm doing something productive, starts arguments, slams things around and goes as far as calling me lazy and saying that I'm perfectly fine. (He doesn't understand how I am so sick, but yet, there are other females who continue to work and carry on normal lives throughout their pregnancies- even though I've been hovered over the toilet many times in front of him) I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO to get the little light bulb to switch on in his head and realize the way he is acting is not right!! I spent so many days/nights crying in a separate bedroom, scared to death that my stress is going to cause a M/C. On top of it all- I have a seizure disorder that can be easily set off by becoming upset or too stressed out. He just doesn't seem to care and it hurts....ANY OPINIONS?!?!?! I need help, now.... I'm desparate!

could you get him to go to a doctor appt with you and have your doc talk to him??

My husband also got this way in the beginning. It was like he expected me to be the same but all I could do was sleep. Once I started to show a little and took him to the doctor's appt with me and asked about being so tired (the doctor flat out said I need more rest) he seemed to understand a little more. Maybe take him to the doc with you?

Quoting Kimberly1404:“ My boyfriend and I of 4 years are expecting- I've been extremely sick with this pregnancy, therefore, ... [snip!] ... upset or too stressed out. He just doesn't seem to care and it hurts....ANY OPINIONS?!?!?! I need help, now.... I'm desparate!”

he needs to be more understanding....for the past week i have been extremely exhausted and just plain lazy! my poor husband works all day and comes home to make dinner and do the dishes! im sure he gets annoyed but he understands that it really is draining being pregnant so he doesnt say anything to me and i make sure to tell him how thankful i am that he does all that

Ugh, I know how you feel, the best thing you can do is calmly explain to him how much you need his support right now. Try to find the words that will go through his heart and make his way up to his brain. I know it's VERY difficult since men are naturally dense, but I'm sure there's someway to talk to him. My fianceand I have been arguing like cats and dogs for about 3 weeks now (bear in mind we've been friends for 10 years, dating for 5), and the only thing that I had to say to get him to wise up, was "I miss my fiance", and then I reminded him of how things were before the arguing, and since then, it's improved dramatically. I'm sure in a few months we'll go through it again, but that's only because men are dense! You should calmly talk to him, explain as best as possible how you're feeling, and how you need his support, and hopefully it will sink in! Good Luck!

I'm sorry, that's a hard thing to find yourself in. I can't say I know what you're going through or even have any specific suggestions except maybe tell him how you feel and ask if he would be willng to see a counsellor.

Hi girl! Well ... I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad.   I think it's easy for people (not just men) to compare YOU to the other pregnant ladies out there who aren't really sick, or who got lucky and don't have any morning sickness. I hate that! It's SO UNFAIR. Every pregnancy is different ... some women don't feel a day of nausea and others are in and out of the hospital getting IVs all the time ...

Is there any way you can call your OB/GYN and ask for nausea meds? That might help.

Does the BF have any pregnancy books that are just for him? My BF was kinda NOT getting it ... and even went so far as to say HE could "do it better (meaning pregnancy!!!! because he thought I complained too much!!!)" ... oh, I cried and cried. I went to the store last weekend and bought him a copy of "The Expectant Father." He's been reading it, and is all of a sudden nicer and "getting it." I dunno if your BF is a reader, but that book is good for guys because it's just for them.

A lot of times, men feel out of control during pregnancy because it's not their body ... it's a stressful time for everyone. I wish you the best!

Quoting Kimberly1404:“ My boyfriend and I of 4 years are expecting- I've been extremely sick with this pregnancy, therefore, ... [snip!] ... upset or too stressed out. He just doesn't seem to care and it hurts....ANY OPINIONS?!?!?! I need help, now.... I'm desparate!”

im in the same boat- sicker than hell, takin care of an 8 month old, and doing ALL the work in the house.., lazy husband.., I lost 5 lbs last month from doing all the work. ( I dont vomit thanxs to Zolfran, but im still on the tilt-a-whirl all day long!)- my first prego i vomited all day every day for 5 motnhs

You poor thing, my heart goes out to you.Maybe he is just as sick as you, but mentally-I have a sister with some serious borderline and ocd issues.Could you bring him to the docs with you the next time?Men don't understand things(in general) that they cannot experience so if you can just ignore him for the time being and maybe suggest he hire some cleaning help for you.I hope you have some friends and family for emotional support, and I wish you better days.

So many great responses so far! Its hard for me to try the 'calm approach' because his words and actions are so infuriating to me. And you would think that by him seeing me curled up in a ball crying hysterically would make him take me serious, but it doesn't phase him- he just figures that's all to blame on my hormones and he's not at fault....-butit REALLY HURTS regardless of being pregnant! He's gone to the doctors appointment- that doesn't change his mind. I try to have dinner ready for him after work and thank him profusely for all that he does.... but it's like he just puts all of that in the back of his mind............I don't know, I guess we'll try the Daddy books and maybe even counseling because I can't take the emotional abuse anymore! I'm ready to give everything up and move back home just to have some peace and quiet.

Quoting Kimberly1404:“ So many great responses so far! Its hard for me to try the 'calm approach' because his words and actions ... [snip!] ... I can't take the emotional abuse anymore! I'm ready to give everything up and move back home just to have some peace and quiet.”

I'm sorry, girl.   He shouldn't be so harsh toward you, no matter what. I think sometimes it does seem easier just to go through the pregnancy by yourself if your partner's going to be a huge jerk ... at least, that's gone through my mind a few times.   If you decide you really can't deal with his behavior, I'd understand if you took a break for a bit. Maybe even just a weekend away might clear the air a little.

i didnt work most of the begining of my pregnancy because it was that bad... every woman is different he needs to see that