I need to vent....

I am so tired of being told by my friends & family not to buy anything because they have a ton of stuff to give me. My cousin called me just a few minutes ago and told me not to buy bottles because she has plenty in every brand. She goes on to say that I should take her car seat because her baby has outgrown it and by the time my baby is born then I can have this that and so on..... When I informed her that I already bought a travel system, a swing, a pack n play, a crib, a changing table, the nursery bedding & decor, a breast pump, etc. she said "Well that was stupid, I bought all my stuff brand new and it's still in great shape." Then she goes on to say...."Why did you buy that? Now people aren't going to have anything to get you for your shower gift!"

HELLO!!!! Why isn't my baby allowed to have anything new? Why am I not allowed to spend my own money without being ridiculed for it. Why is it that my husband and I made the baby but we can't pick out the diaper bag or the pattern for the stroller? Why does my child have to have hand-me-downs, when it's okay for everyone else to go buy new? Why should I sit back and wait for my shower to see what other people buy me before I spend MY money on MY child. (Keep in mind that this is my second child and I had a shower for my first. My first is 7 years old and my husband & I didn't plan on having any more, so we sold everything 6 years ago. My family is very insistent on throwing me another shower & I'm fine with that but I don't think it's fair that they have to see a crib on my registry when they bought me one 7 years ago.)

Having said that, I'm not too good to use someone else's things. I have a ton of stuff that I have picked up at garage sales and things that I have been gratefully given as well. However, this was a planned pregnancy. My husband and I have great jobs and we made sure that we could afford a baby before we had one. I love to shop and buy things for the baby...it's exciting and it's part of the thrill of having a baby. My husband and I had a lot of fun in Babies R Us picking out the collection we wanted for the stroller, nursery, etc. Why should I be expected to let someone take that away from us because they want to give me stuff free?
Take it somewhere and donate it to someone or some organization that needs it for women who can't afford it. Have a garage sale....I will gladly come and go through your stuff and pay you for what I want but don't call me and tell me that I can't or shouldn't buy anything for my baby because you want to give me all the used stuff from yours. Then, I feel obligated to use everything you gave me instead of buying what I really want. Grrrrr. Does this happen to anyone else???

Your not due until March, isn't it a bit early to be buying stuff.

My family is really weird about that, we never buy or accept anything until 4 months pregnant, because of the misscarriage risk. It would suck to have to go through all the stuff you bought for the baby if you lost him/her.

It didn't happen to me because, I, like you, love to shop and everyone knows this about me. Plus, I kind of wanted my baby to have new things. My son had everything new, so why shouldn't she?

But I understand your point, and IMO, I say do what makes YOU happy. To hell with what everyone else has to say.

Quoting Carrying a Princess!:“ Your not due until March, isn't it a bit early to be buying stuff. My family is really weird about ... [snip!] ... of the misscarriage risk. It would suck to have to go through all the stuff you bought for the baby if you lost him/her.”

Omg I was thinking the same thing!! My baby was totally planned and everything but I haven't bought him anything yet? I'm due 12-5. Do you think I should start setting up a nursery four months before he arrives?

Quoting Carrying a Princess!:“ Your not due until March, isn't it a bit early to be buying stuff. My family is really weird about ... [snip!] ... of the misscarriage risk. It would suck to have to go through all the stuff you bought for the baby if you lost him/her.”

Some people don't think like that. I started buyong stuff in February and I wasn't due until August 8th. My baby is fine laying right next to me now! 

Quoting Carrying a Princess!:“ Your not due until March, isn't it a bit early to be buying stuff. My family is really weird about ... [snip!] ... of the misscarriage risk. It would suck to have to go through all the stuff you bought for the baby if you lost him/her.”

Well, um thanks for the supersticious outlook on things but I have had 3 u/s and my baby is fine. I'll be 12 weeks (4 months) in a few days. The risk of miscarriage is 15% and greatly reduced once a heartbeat is detected. I also have the holidays to deal with during the last half of my pregnancy, not to mention Ohio snowy roads. I also will more than likely deliver at 36-37 weeks due to cervical issues. So, realistically... Feb is when my baby will be born. Not to mention that I may end up on bedrest prior to that. I have no intentions of dragging a shopping cart, 7 months pregnant thru a snow covered parking lot because it's not "safe" to shop early.

Quoting Ali and Mikayla's Mommy:“ Omg I was thinking the same thing!! My baby was totally planned and everything but I haven't bought him ... [snip!] ... haven't bought him anything yet? I'm due 12-5. Do you think I should start setting up a nursery four months before he arrives?”

We started our daugher's nursery in April. I started buying stuff in February. Her nursery was finished by June 1st, two months before she got here.

Quoting Zack & Zari's Mommy[KBC]:“ We started our daugher's nursery in April. I started buying stuff in February. Her nursery was finished by June 1st, two months before she got here.”

o wow. I guess I better get moving. I already have the crib, dresser/changing table. I think I'm hesitant to do it to soon. We will be turning our 4th bedroom now used as an office for the nursery. I use this room all the time and my bf will have to rearrange furniture in the living room and stuff before we can get going. It's so fun asking him to do things...i better start now, that way in like a month he will actually get it done, lol!

Quoting Ali and Mikayla's Mommy:“ Omg I was thinking the same thing!! My baby was totally planned and everything but I haven't bought him ... [snip!] ... haven't bought him anything yet? I'm due 12-5. Do you think I should start setting up a nursery four months before he arrives?”

I guess I don't really like to wait until the last minute to do everything. I would rather enjoy the holidays with my family instead of attempting to air out a newly painted bedroom in 30 degree weather. I know how tired I was with my son and how long it takes to wash all the clothing, bedding, blankets, etc. Maybe I'm OCD, but now that my son has started school & soccer I know how busy I'm going to be every evening & weekend. I also have a full time job. The holdiays are very busy as well.... I just feel like now is a good time to get it in the door. We'll set up the furniture & nusery as we have time. I see nothing wrong with that.

About your original venting topic, i totally agree with you. It's nivce that you are surrounded by such supportive people but they should also know that you'd be happier stimulating the economy while their gifts go to people who need it more. I doubt baby gear gathers dust at the Salvation Army or church storage rooms.

I think your point is that your family is being overly controlling, by either demanding or critizing you for your desires. No one has offered to "make" me use anything or offered to give me anything used or new.
 So I am obviously not in your shoes. However, I can relate, because I keep being told i have to do things (or should I say it's highly suggested), like find out the sex of the baby, pick the names they want, raise the child in their way. It's really irritating to hear my parents/ co-workers dictate to me when 1- I'm 28 years old and 2- Although they are well meaning people, they really didn't do the hottest job raising me. 
And as far as the comments about, you being too early to think about buying things.... again a lot of people are experts (aren't we all?????) and love to tell people when they should or should not do X.Y.Z. 
Good luck and try not to take your relatives comments too personally. they are well-meaning most likely but if you want them to get the point you'll have to be honest and direct about how you want to go about things. I think it would be totally understandable if you told me that you are really excited to purchase and pick out the baby items and while you appreciate the gesture of hand me downs, that you would appreciate it if I let you know if I am in need of anything. 

well i started buying at about 5 months when i found out what he was. i wouldnt before then anyway. about people wanting to give u stuff, i experienced it alittle not much though and i was like pfffft my baby especially that hes my first wnt bee using secondss lol i preferred to buy everything new and not use anyones so called still in good condition crappy stuff. lol

anyhow u have a long way to go ull wanna buy everything u see lol js like me.