bad mommy? *vent*

So...I put this here b/c I really feel like for me it's part of preparing for my baby. I just had my first hormonal break down. I am convinced I'm going to be a bad mother. Here is why...

So my hubby and I both work full time, and both go to school. The house is a mess and one of us (usually him) cooks maybe once a month. In my house growing up, my mother didnt work so she did all the cooking and cleaning..thereforeI feel like it is my responsibiliy to do it now. I am not one of those "women belong in the kitchen" kind of people, that was just my family situation. My dad gave my mom the choice, but she chose to stay home with us..which I liked. But I don't have that choice, I have to work in order for us to be able to afford stuff. Anyway, I know I don't pull my fair share of the weight around here, and I know it's unfair to my husband, who works so hard. I'm just so tired! Even before I got pregnant, I have a hormonal imbalance that causes me to be more tired than the average 21 year old & I have no motivation. If I don't feel like doing it, I can't make myself like some can. I know I'm probably just making excuses most of the time. But my mom never made us do chores growing up...and so i never really learned how to do anything. Like cooking...I just don't know where to start. idk....i just feel so useless. How am i supposed to be a good mother if I can't even be a good wife to my husband? *sigh* i don't know what to do. Plus, with my schedule being so sporadic (I work retail) I feel like I can't get anything done. I don't function well without a set schedule...one thing I'm trying to fix by going to school but I still have over a year left. idk..maybe I'm just being hormonal but I swear I need a *wife coach* or something. Anyone know where I can get one? Thanks for listening.

You don't have to be the perfect housewife, to be a good wife. I tell my husband all the time that he is a better housewife than I am, lol. Try not to focus on the sterdotype of what a good wife should be. As long as you care for your baby, and love her and take care of her, you will be fine. You have a couple years before you will have to be making all kinds of meals to be able to feed her/him, and that gives you lots of time to get yourself organised, and through school. Just take it one step at a time!
What are you going to school for??

Right. At 21 I was a useless wife. But it will come to you. It takes time. Yiou have to want to change though. Call a shrink if you can or counciller etc. At 21 I had an imbalance but it rghts itself as you mature and doesn't mean you'll always have it. Best advice I got was stop feeling sorry for yourself and making excuses for your behaviour. Only you can change you. Just seek help, eat healthy and focus on getting yourself "normal" You'd be surprised how much of a difference diet will make...

Quoting mandalyn333:“ You don't have to be the perfect housewife, to be a good wife. I tell my husband all the time that he ... [snip!] ... of time to get yourself organised, and through school. Just take it one step at a time! What are you going to school for??”

to be a medical assistant. it's a fairly short program but I just started 6 weeks ago...right before I found out i was pregnant. so i still have a ways to go.

my mum did everything too when i was growing up and even now that us kids are all adults she still does everything. thats just her and her mum did the same and im happy to be the same. i find it really hard to get off my ass and do housework. at the moment im staying with my parents so my mum still doesa lot for me. i do my own washing but she irons my clothes, folds them, cooks dinner, does the dishes... i can do all this stuff and in my own house i will but i find it hard to motivate myself to do it all since it was always done for me. it doesnt make you a bad mommy or a bad wife, its just a habit/routine you need to put yourself into

Practice makes perfect.

It really is all about doing the work that makes you good at it. When we first got out on our own, it took me hours to get the house clean, now I can get it sparkling in less than an hour, before hubby gets home. lol. You need to know the best products to use for you, and the things that are easiest to make... Get a beginner cook book... they explain everything. this was my first cook book, and it was a great place to start:
http://www.amazon.com/Betty-Crockers-Cooking-Basics-Confidence/dp/0028624513/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219034620&sr=8-1

A good tip for cleaning the house is generally: start at the top and work your way down. Clean fans about once a month... the tops of them...and then dust at least once a week... if you keep up with it, it is much easier.

Any questions, let me know. I hope I helped...


PS-Mr. Clean Magic erasers are AMAZING.

Quoting Shortcake718:“ to be a medical assistant. it's a fairly short program but I just started 6 weeks ago...right before I found out i was pregnant. so i still have a ways to go.”

Well good luck with it. The medical field is a great profession to get into, you'll always have job stability.

Quoting Maggiekins:“ Practice makes perfect. It really is all about doing the work that makes you good at it. When we first ... [snip!] ... up with it, it is much easier. Any questions, let me know. I hope I helped... PS-Mr. Clean Magic erasers are AMAZING.”

i appreciate any advice...I don't know what I would do without this site, lol. I love all the BG ladies  

Quoting mandalyn333:“ Well good luck with it. The medical field is a great profession to get into, you'll always have job stability.”

Thanks, I had to get out of retail...and I love watching medical shows on TV so I figured why not live it? lol, and the money has to be better than what i'm getting now...and yeah, they always need help in that field.