this makes 3 *vent*

three friends in 8 mons that have died. 
i guess its what people do, they die, but still this is the most depressing year of my life. i went to a funeral today, my friend hung himself.. his girlfriend found him. 
i personally dont care what anyone has to say about god or going to hell for suicide he didnt believe in it, i still dont. seeing peoples families all sad, i dont know what was so wrong? like i dont know why he did it. no note, nothing. ive had friends commit suicide before, but i could some degree understand their reasons. i knew what they just couldn't deal with, or really the biggest fuck you they could do. they have always said something before it was over. this is a mind numbing pain. 
i quit now though, this was the last thing i could deal with. i know i sound selfish but its selfish to kill yourself and let the person you love most find you that way. 
i think my brian has gone to shut down mode. i dont feel anything. my chest feels hallowed out. i litterally have nothing else in me. i think the world stoped moving i cant cry i cant scream , i feel like the last one...like everyone i know expect my parents are dead. 
i should go to the emergency room since im pretty sure my hand is broken..i slammed it in the car door.... i just dont notice it yet. 
i dont expect anyone to be able to say anything... i just needed to say something where it was none of my real life friends... everyone here thinks im going to off myself so saying im sad about his death is enough to be sent to hospital. i dont have time for it. i dont have time to sleep let alone lie to bunch of doctors and tell them what they wanna hear so i can leave. 

I am so sorry for your loss

i am so sorry.

I know how you feel. within 2 years me and my fiancee combined have lost over 10 people.. both family members and friends. so I definatly know where your coming from.

eveything will get better   it just takes time.

That's coincidental... I just came back from a wake of one of my friends (that is all of 5 days older than me) that hung herself too... her mother found her.

If you'd like to talk, I'm here. It's my 7th person this year, and it's not getting any easier.  

i really didnt see this coming ya know? 
there isnt anything anyone can do.. hell never come back. im sure in time all of this will just be a bad dream.. i just dont know what to do in the mean time. 
i have no way of dealing well healthy way anyway 

I'm sorry for you loss  
one of my good friends died in December 2007 from a drug over dose.
I still think about him everyday

I know nothing anyone will say will make you feel better.. Within a years time I lost my father my uncle two close friends and my boss. Im really sorry for your loss. It may not seem like it now but It will get better it will just take time

i know where you're coming from.

Some one in my life dies every june since I was 14.

This year I've had two people die since february.

The one who died in february drive his car into the river. [he was scitzophrenic [sp]]

My cousin died in june from cancer... he had a wife and two kids.

I'm still not over it. I know how you're feeling... Just keep your head up and know that if they were in pain, they're in a calm place now...

I'm sorry...

I'm really sorry, hun   I'm in the same boat, death has been all around me this year. My mom died in May, 2 of my friends from high school overdosed, and lots of other tragedies. 

I had a very dear friend commit suicide 9 years ago, and it is STILL so painful for me. I miss him so much. I'm so sad he's not here to share my life with. I was given a good piece of advice and that was "the more answers you try to come up with, the more questions you will create". Like it or not, it's THEIR choice, and we're the ones left to pick up the pieces. 

You can always PM me if you need to vent about this, I know how much it hurts.

-Amy

Quoting madelynn:“ three friends in 8 mons that have died. i guess its what people do, they die, but still this is the ... [snip!] ... time for it. i dont have time to sleep let alone lie to bunch of doctors and tell them what they wanna hear so i can leave.”

I understand what you are feeling trust me. In 2006 my daughters father shot himself and no one knows for sure why. After it happened I was numb and my brain did shut down completely I was hospitalized and all in a mental institution. Not saying that’s what you need. PM me if you want to talk Im on all kinds of IMs

Quoting Owens Mommy♥:“ That's coincidental... I just came back from a wake of one of my friends (that is all of 5 days older ... [snip!] ... her mother found her. If you'd like to talk, I'm here. It's my 7th person this year, and it's not getting any easier.  ”

thanks... i know everyone loses someone but i havnt been this fucked up from something since i was 16 and walked in on my closest friend blow his face off. 
i just dont know anymore... its just pointless