i dont know how to deal (long but i need help)

So has most of you know i dumped my stupid worthless boyfriend because he was unreliable, selfish and he treated me really badly....i finally just had enough.....this was about 2 months ago....he said he was leaving for the army onjune 25th...he completly disappered....he stopped talking to me, hedidnt ask for my adress so he cant write to me when he left....he just vanished....whatever

a few weeks after the 25th i saw him driving around his work truck....i thought i was going to absolutly die....i felt so hurt that he could just cut me and his son out of his life....and i felt extremly fucking stupid for believeing he loved me for soo long....i really wanted to just curl up and die

it took a while but i finallystarted to get over it...i told myself i had to because i ended up loseing 5lbs when i should have gained weight...my doctor was pissed lol....i started feeling happy again....me and an ex from high school started dateing again....everything was going great....i wasnt crying anymore

then...just like i dreaded....he decided he wanted us back in his life....he wrote me messages on myspace and cried and told me he loved me and that he wants our future together....he wants his family......i didnt have it in me to fight anymore.....i didnt want to......i yelled at him for a while and then just told him fine....we could try a friendship.....but there was no future for us....there was nothing left to tryand save....but for my kids sake i would try a friendship........he swore up and down that he would makethings right and i said fine...go ahead and try...but im sure as hell not expecting much....nd just as i was expecting he hasnt once asked when any of my Apts. are....not once asked if he can help me out with anything....not once asked if i still needed anything for the baby....whatever...im not actually expecting him to stick around

so we have been writing back and forth on myspace and i mentioned that i still had a few things to buy for the baby.....i was going to send him a commentwith a baby ticker in it when i came accrossa comment he got the other day saying "congrats on thenew motorcycle"

he went out and bought himself a fucking motorcycle!his fucking son doesnt even have a fucking bed to sleep in yet and hes out buying stupid shit like that? what the fucking hell? now i dont even want him in the delievery room....i wanted him there to be on the BC and so that i could hurt him....but now its not even worth it....i dont want him in my life...i dont want him around my son...i dont want anything to do with him....im done crying.....im done careing....im just done

i;ve been planning on sueing him for child support since he vanished....and i was still planning on taking the child support thing through the courts regardless of wether we were getting along or not....so a part of me wants to keep him around long enough to do that so that its easier to find him.....but i dont want him around me....and i dont want him around his son

i dont know what to do....im so close....im going to pop any freakin day now i dont need or want this stress right now.....i need help....i just dont know what to do....im tired of crying

If you get child support from him through court, I think you have to let him have some sort of visitation unless you can prove he's dangerous.

Anyways, I'm sorry about everything you're going thorugh. I hope things work out for the best 

That's so hard, I would say if he decides to show up for the baby's birth to let him be in the waiting room but I would be more likely to want to strangle him if he was in the room. If he's not paying for anything I'd say once your baby is born take him to court and make sure he pays or his wages at work will be garnished to pay you. He hasn't been there for you or around you your entire pregnancy or helped you pay for anything so I'd say unless he's willing to be there and help out he doesn't deserve to see his son. Sounds like you were dating a really great guy and I hope you continued to talk to him so that you have someone to bea father figure to your child or at least your dad there to be a father figure. If not that's too bad but I hope you get this figured out and if all else fails you be mom and dad for your son and take care of him. As soon as that baby is here he's all thats going to matter and screw the BD because he's missing out on knowing his son.

Quoting Lora [Keira's Mommy]:“ If you get child support from him through court, I think you have to let him have some sort of visitation ... [snip!] ... can prove he's dangerous. Anyways, I'm sorry about everything you're going thorugh. I hope things work out for the best ”

i;ve already looked that up...CS and costody are completly differernt things...he would have to open a seperate case to get visitation...and i doubt he even will...he doesnt really seem to care to much

Quoting Steph - Secondbabybump:“ That's so hard, I would say if he decides to show up for the baby's birth to let him be in the waiting ... [snip!] ... him. As soon as that baby is here he's all thats going to matter and screw the BD because he's missing out on knowing his son.”

thats what i keep thinking....my new boyfriend may be a stupid pothead but hes ten times more of a man than the daddy is....and i was going to tell the BD that if he cooperates with the child supprt then he can have as much visitation as he wants...but if he was going to cause trouble then he would have to sue for visitation...and either way a judge would make him pay child support....but i just dont want to deal with him at all....he made me feel so shitty for so long....i dont want or need him in my life

Quoting TaraBanana- 17 days to go:“ i;ve already looked that up...CS and costody are completly differernt things...he would have to open ... [snip!] ... would have to open a seperate case to get visitation...and i doubt he even will...he doesnt really seem to care to much”

That's good.

Things must be different here in NC, because that's how it is here. I suppose just be glad you don't live here, lol 

Quoting Lora [Keira's Mommy]:“ That's good. Things must be different here in NC, because that's how it is here. I suppose just be glad you don't live here, lol ”

well im pretty sure thats what its like here...i know a part of calculating how much he has to pay depends on how much visitation he gets....but if i can help it he wont have any...i dont trust him at all

i am so sorry babe...  i don't really know what to tell you, but you seem to be handling a situation like this VERY well, i know i'd be a total wreck. at least you have your head on straight and you've been trying to forget about it (dating your ex from high school?). i would DEFINITELY mention to this guy how ridiculous it is though, that he got a motorcycle and can't get anything for his own kid?! i don't blame you for being upset at all. just do what you think is right, good luck 

Quoting LexZeppelin:“ i am so sorry babe...  i don't really know what to tell you, but you seem to be handling a situation ... [snip!] ... and can't get anything for his own kid?! i don't blame you for being upset at all. just do what you think is right, good luck ”

if i bring it up hes going to think im stalking him and reading all his comments....and im just too tired of his shit to deal with it...i was stupid to give him the benefit of the doubt in the first place and it just came back and bit me in the ass