re: Do I make the call or not??

and....who the fuck acts like its a disease to have an ex who is irresponsible? I can't control his actions. I am mature. I have been working with my "big girl" panites on sinceI was 14. All I can do is take care of my daughter. Which you may not understand, is a challenge when you are doing it alone.

Quoting Kelli Jo & Bebe:“ Congratufuckinlations. I HAD a husband, and I take care of MY family. ”

Hey, you made the assumption and I cleared it up. Don't get your panties in a wad over someone else's opinion.

Quoting ♥Kitch:“ I'm not saying it's your daughter's fault, but I'm giving you other mature options rather than telling ... [snip!] ... on him like the 5 year old you don't want to be. If you don't want to hear different point of views, you shouldn't have asked.”

So what's your suggestion?

Quoting Kelli Jo & Bebe:“ Congratufuckinlations. I HAD a husband, and I take care of MY family. ”

Hey- you aired your laundry on a public forum and solicited opinions. You are getting upset because people are giving out their opinions that you asked for.

Dont take it so personally

Quoting ♥Kitch:“ Nope, I have a husband that takes care of his family.”

That's totally uncalled for!
Her daughter deserves a daddy who takes care of her, whether or not he's with her mommy!

Quoting Kelli Jo & Bebe:“ and....who the fuck acts like its a disease to have an ex who is irresponsible? I can't control his actions. ... [snip!] ... was 14. All I can do is take care of my daughter. Which you may not understand, is a challenge when you are doing it alone.”

Being military, I do a LOT of it alone, thanks. The only thing you may have on me is the financial area of it, but even then I know what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck with nothing. I've done it. I've sucked it up, though. I don't go calling my husband's parents when things don't go right, I handle it myself like an adult. Why don't you try doing the same?

Quoting Sadie 700:“ Hey- you aired your laundry on a public forum and solicited opinions. You are getting upset because people are giving out their opinions that you asked for. Dont take it so personally”

I asked if I should call. I didnt say anything bad about her. Its certainly ridiculous for someone who hasnt been there to tell me to grow up.
Opinions are opinions, but maybe we can stick to the facts eh?
The fact is HE is irresponsible. Not ME.

Quoting ♥Kitch:“ I'm not saying it's your daughter's fault, but I'm giving you other mature options rather than telling ... [snip!] ... on him like the 5 year old you don't want to be. If you don't want to hear different point of views, you shouldn't have asked.”

Just because she gets his parents involved doesnt mean she's acting childish! She has NO other option, and he's clearly being a dick about the situation! You really dont have any room to be giving advice if you have no idea what its like to be a single mother.

Quoting ♥Kitch:“ Being military, I do a LOT of it alone, thanks. The only thing you may have on me is the financial area ... [snip!] ... go calling my husband's parents when things don't go right, I handle it myself like an adult. Why don't you try doing the same?”

I said in my orignal post. I never involved them. I am only contemplating it because no one knows except for me how late he is. He actually respects them so perhaps he will listen to them when they say my daughter's need are important.

Quoting Beth [due 12-25-08]:“ So what's your suggestion?”

To make it perfectly clear, I was suggesting that she sit down with her child's father and talk to him maturely and openly that it's not fair what he's doing her her, that their child comes first, and that she needs the child support. If he doesn't want to give it to her and wants to leave her as a single mother, then she should be the single mother completely. I wouldn't want my child seeing how much of a deadbeat her father is if I was in the situation. I wouldn't tell her that her father is a deadbeat by any means, but as she got older I'd let her know that her father wasn't ready financially or emotionally at the time for a child.

Quoting Kate Did It:“ That's totally uncalled for! Her daughter deserves a daddy who takes care of her, whether or not he's with her mommy!”

So she should go tell his parents and drag them into the whole thing? That's pretty childish IMO.

Quoting ♥Kitch:“ I'm not saying it's your daughter's fault, but I'm giving you other mature options rather than telling ... [snip!] ... on him like the 5 year old you don't want to be. If you don't want to hear different point of views, you shouldn't have asked.”

I am telling you its not my daughter's fault because she still deserves to have visitation Its not her fault he doesnt pay. If I were to with hold visitation I would be in violation of the Indiana Parenting Guidelines.

Its pretty obvious that she's been TRYING to get it from him... I dont think "sitting down with him" would do any good at all.

Quoting Ashley[bbylove] Rys Mum:“ Just because she gets his parents involved doesnt mean she's acting childish! She has NO other option, ... [snip!] ... about the situation! You really dont have any room to be giving advice if you have no idea what its like to be a single mother.”

She doesn't HAVE to go and tell his mother and father and get them involved. It's quite honestly none of their business what their son is doing to screw up. He was old enough to have a child. He didn't make that decision because his mom and dad sat there coaching him the entire time and he surely didn't have them ridiculing him to go and get some.

Quoting ♥Kitch:“ To make it perfectly clear, I was suggesting that she sit down with her child's father and talk to him ... [snip!] ... means, but as she got older I'd let her know that her father wasn't ready financially or emotionally at the time for a child.”

I'm not trying to be rude but what makes you think that asking him to his face is going to make him change his mind? She's obviously been asking him in one form or another (I'm assuming over the phone but I'm not sure). I mean, he has a court order to pay and he's ignoring that. I don't think asking is working anymore. Someone is going to have to force him. Not saying that it should be her, I would prefer it be the courts but since he knows how to work that situation I don't see that happening.