Venting...really just need to vent

Okay, I'm sorry, this really doesnt belong here, but I cant post in the Drama Corner and I have no idea why. But this doesnt fit in the pregnancy area either...its justa vent that I need to get outsince no one but all of you, my bf, and my best friend, know that I'm pregnant.

Alright...So...I'm Pregnant!

And you know what, I'm just excited and scared as any teen. I'm only 18, and secretly(parents would flip!) dating a 25 year old man and former marine. We've only been together 2 months but known each other more then a year. Only in our second month of dating we discovered I was pregnant and started naming all the things we need to get and get done. I have a few issues with how we are going to get any of this done! We are both living with my parents, my mother hates him, and I am not ready to tell her nor do I want to tell her at all.

Moving out - We agreed that we would wait until we got our own apartment before telling my parents. I believe this is the best way to do it. Not only because I can just leave if they scream and yell at me or decide that I'm throwing away my life, but also because I know for a fact that they would throw my boyfriend back out onto the streets if they knew. My boyfriend has no accepting family, they want nothing to do with him. He only has our next door neighbor as a friend and they have 6 adults and around 6 toddlers running around that place, so he cant stay there. Apartments are $600 - $900 a month! He makes enough to get an apartment but not enough to where we will have electricity, food, furniture, and all else that we need. So we said that I needed a job...

Job - He works from 8:00am - 5:30pm. I will be starting school soon, so my day will be from 8:00am - 2:55pm. He doesnt get home until 6:05pm - 6:30pm sometimes 7pm, since our next door neighboor works with him and cant drive and sometimes needs to stop at Wal-Mart to get his 4 children dipers and stuff. So, explain to me, how am I to get a job from 7pm - 11 or 12pm???? It doesnt happen like that! There are no after school jobs that start at 7pm. After school jobs start at 4pm to 9pm or 10pm If he thinks I'll be able to get a job he is out of his damn mind. Besides even if I did get a job...starting at 4pm since there is no 7pm work shift....I wouldnt even have a car!

Car - There is only one car between us. We have sorted out how I'm getting to school and back. He drives me to school and I take the bus home. Now, for a job...I kinda need transportation dont you think? How do I get to work if he has the car? Hmmm? I keep thinking I could use one of my friends...but you know, what if the job isnt near where they live or work? Then again, I'm stuck.

Doctor - I havent been to the doctors yet to get myself checked out. I am on my parents insurance and it will appear on the paper that I went and got checked out for something. My mother will automatically want to know why I went and why I have another appointment. Actually all she'll have to see is that I'm going to the type of doctor that deals with pregnant woman (sorry I forgot what they were called). Then I'm pretty much letting the cat out of the bag and my boyfriend is on the streets.

Mother - My mother is driving me up the wall!!!! We used to be so close until I turned 16 and entered my sophomore year in high school. Then I started pulling away and trying to do for myself and being your normal teen who doesnt want her parents around. Granted, I never did anything like drugs or got drunk on a daily bases. I didnt even have sex! But I went out and had fun with my friends and saw it as getting away from everything. Anyway, my mother and I argue everytime we speak to each other. We dont plan it! She tends to start the conversation since I avoid any possible way of speaking to her since I hate being screamed at. Our arguements are normally over me helping around the house...I clean the kitchen, I clean up after her messes, and when she falls asleep with a cigarette in her hand and it falls to the floor or down into the couch who usually cleans it up? I do! I vaccumm the house. She starts the laundry but never finishes it, so I make sure that everything is dry and placed where they need to be. Another arguement is over me not hanging around her and dad...how can I hang out with you? It's not that I dont want to, I really wouldnt mind, but all they do is sit on the couch, smoke, and watch tv. I cant sit in there, the smoke burns my eyes and then I cant breath, plus it wouldnt be good for the baby. The most we argue over is Dan (my boyfriend even though she thinks we're just friends). She hates him, doesnt trust him, doesnt like that he does this or that. She has never even tried to get to know him. She judges from how he looks and how he has is own way of doing things. What she doesnt see is that he is the one that makes sure I get rest, makes sure I eat since there is rarely food in the house for me, he makes sure I have everything I need such as shampoo, body wash, and ect. Yes, my mother does go shopping for food and personal needs. But half the time I'm out of food and Dan has to use some of his tip money he gets at work to get me something to eat. My mother even cooks from time to time...but she never feeds me or Dan. Its always just her and Dad. Then she yells at me for not eatting...How can I? There is no food!

Money - Money is so tight are here. My parents are not giving me money for things I need anymore. They used to give me $20 a week for gas...well Dan has the car 99% of time so he has to put gas in it. That is understandable. But I used to get myself food at school with some of that money, I would normally buy things like pads, tampons, body wash and ect with that money. Now I got nothing. Dan only makes enough to put gas in the car with his tips...thats like....$100 a week, $30 goes to my parents for rent, $40 goes to the state for a fine from a car accident, about $50 - $60 goes to personal needs and food, he only makes $250 a week...add all that up and you get $220 - $230. He smokes too...so another $10 on cigarettes, even though I have got him to cut back, so the money isnt being spent so quickly or so much. We spend the same amount of money every single week.

I'm pretty much venting here and I'm sure all of you are thinking, man, this girl is drama. But I'm really not...its just...everything is so hard right now and I dont know how to make any of it better. Thanks for listening...or reading...

Sounds like Dan needs to get another job paying more money or pick up a part time job. You can work part time on the week-ends or after school. You can easily pick up some hours at Wal-Mart as most of them are 24 hours. Since you are in school and all get the hours you need either on Friday-Sunday or pick up some other days.

something needs to give.. how do you expect to take care of a kid??
and why does dan live there??

Sounds to me like your boyfriend needs to find a better job and you need to go to Planned Parenthood or the welfare clinic and get your pregnancy confirmed. Welfare can get you medical care, set up WIC and other benefits if you qualify and help you find a job and a place to live. I haven't had to go but I bet your local Department of Health and Family Services could point you where to go. Or Planned Parenthood...they have lots of information they can give you. Their services are cheap or free sometimes.

Yeah he does need another job. And you can't post in TDC. It has to get sent there. Sex and relationships is a good place for it. Trust me you don't want to be in TDC

wow ! I really would agree that your boyfriend needs a better job

Yeah, we are actually looking for another job, but until school starts jobs are limited. When school starts more openings will be out since kids will be back in school and focusing on that work instead.

I have found a planned parenthood about 30 minutes away from me, and plan to see them either Monday or Wednesday. That way my bf is with me.

And I can work just weekends? Like Friday Night - Sunday? That be sweet! I'll check Wal-Mart and everywhere else.