Fed Up With It All

I just need to get this off my chest, and you ladies seem to be the best one's to vent to lately.
I live with my fiance and yet most of the time i still feel like i'm a single mom. He never helps me with Noah, and when he does, he complains about it the whole time. I do everything, i change him, feed him, bathe him, take care of him, hold him if he's crying, everything.
And when i do get my fiance to hold him to feed him, he'll feed him for like 5 minutes, get impatient and ask me to hold him. The other night, he asked me to feed him (which i said ok to, because i thought he wanted me to because it was getting late and he needed to go to bed because he had work in the morning), turns out he asked me to hold him and feed him just so he could sit there and drink a beer.
I'm getting so fed up, i'm exhausted, i'm worn out, and i'm tired all the time. I'm the only one that get's up to feed him at night, which i dont mind because he's the only one who works so he needs to sleep. But then i still have to do everything all day. Even on his days off, it's like he's no help to me. He wont even touch a dirty diaper, he'll leave noah there and tell me about it and walk off.
I'm fed up. I shouldn't feel like i'm going at this alone.

I feel your pain. I 'm sensing that this is how it will be between my boyfriend and I once my little man comes into the world. Talk to him about it and if he doesn't make any changes then reconsider the engagement. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you have to stay with him. (I know I know - I HATE hearing it too but its true) He's got to know that there are consequences to his actions.

Quoting Marlyce:“ I feel your pain. I 'm sensing that this is how it will be between my boyfriend and I once my little ... [snip!] ... with him. (I know I know - I HATE hearing it too but its true) He's got to know that there are consequences to his actions.”

I'll probley sit down with him today or 2morrow.
I let is slide at first, one because he's never been around a small baby and didn't know what to do at first, and two because he's the only one working so i know he needs his sleep at night.
But it's getting ridiculous, and i can't keep being the only one that takes care of him. It's just not fair, it took both of us to make him, we should both have to care for him.

I'm a single mom and when my son was younger I use to get stressed cause I had to do everything by myself and my mom and grandma would say " I took care of 3 kids, cooked dinner, and kept the house clean" and when I'd respond with "yeah, well you were married" she'd say " your father didn't help me, I did it by myself because he had to work" ugh.

I totally agree. It already doesn't seem fair that we already have to go to all the doc appts and the morning sickness and the pain in your back, neck, feet, head, everywhere when your pregnant. Now it should be his time to bear some of the pain and carry some weight on his shoulders. It helps to remember you cant control him. People are always going to do whatever it is they do for whatever reasons they do it and it will only cause you greif if youstress. What you CAN control is how YOU care for your little miricle. You are giving himeverythng that he needs and you are a veryamazing woman for doing so and doing it alone (in a sense)and I hear motherhood is a sacrifice. I'm willing to kill whole armies if my baby needed it. Your a strong woman. Sacrifice sister, Sacrifice.I'd totally come over and help if you needed it. Maybe you need your mommy. God knows I do.

Quoting MandyLoo:“ I'll probley sit down with him today or 2morrow. I let is slide at first, one because he's never ... [snip!] ... one that takes care of him. It's just not fair, it took both of us to make him, we should both have to care for him. ”

please tell us how it turns out. hes a father hes part of the baby's life he needs to help around. the baby needs to bond w/ the mom and dad. i just hope he understands what your trying to tell him that you need a break sometimes.

best wishes from me and i hope everything turns out well!

"I'm exhausted, i'm worn out, and i'm tired all the time"

Me too! me too!
My husband helps, but not as much as I'd like. But thats ok, hes the one that works, I stay at home so thats a good reason. I can nap when the baby is sleeping to catch up on sleep and junk. but yeah, i know how you feel mama!

Quoting Marlyce:“ I totally agree. It already doesn't seem fair that we already have to go to all the doc appts and the ... [snip!] ... woman. Sacrifice sister, Sacrifice.I'd totally come over and help if you needed it. Maybe you need your mommy. God knows I do.”

It's like they think that we are the one's that are supposed do everything.
I dont want to raise a baby by myself, when i am engaged to the father and live with him. If i wanted to do it alone, i would. There is no reason for it.
I talked to him last night, he said that he would help out more. He better because i feel like i'm losing my mind sometimes. I'm so exhausted, and stressed out. So i guess we'll see how things go this week.

Quoting kaBOOM!♥:“ please tell us how it turns out. hes a father hes part of the baby's life he needs to help around. ... [snip!] ... what your trying to tell him that you need a break sometimes. best wishes from me and i hope everything turns out well!”

Thanks, we talked, now i'm just waiting to see if it did any good. He said he would help more, but ya never know. Saying and do'ing are two different things. I just feel like not only am i the one doing all the work, i feel like he's missing out on the beginning of his son's life. He wont have these memories like i do, if he doesn't help out and spend more time with him. He'll regret it in the end and in know it.

Quoting dea:“ "I'm exhausted, i'm worn out, and i'm tired all the time" Me too! me too! My husband helps, but not ... [snip!] ... so thats a good reason. I can nap when the baby is sleeping to catch up on sleep and junk. but yeah, i know how you feel mama!”

That's our situation to, i stay at home and only he works. I barely sleep at night because i'm feeding him, or because i havehard time going back to sleep, once i've been awake for a while because i was feeding him. Also, Noah only takes like one nap a day now, so that's not much time to get any rest. Especially when i have things around the house that need to be done while he's sleeping too.
I need more hands, or a clone, yea a clone would be nice.

he should help out, it is his kid.

i stay at home, and my fiance works.. so i know about taking care of everything.
he helped out the first week cuz he took paternity leave for the 5 days i was in the hospital and a week after we got home. after that week... it got hard for him to do things. i had a c-section, so i was still in a ton of pain, so nothing ever got done... laundry/dishes/cleaning..
i wasn't sleeping cuz of the baby, my pain, and the fact i had to be up at 3am so i can take him to work at 330am then pick him up at 1pm. it got to the point where i was so tired, i didn't even remember driving. she's very colicy, and doesn't sleep but 6-8hrs a day total. one night she didn't sleep AT ALL, and i knew there was no way we'd survive if i drove. he fought with me about it, saying how he needs to work blah blah (we do good, he hasn't called out since November, and we can afford if he misses a day). i flipped out on him telling him that if he took care of her when he got home so i could sleep a few hours, it wouldn't get like this. he'd help take care of her, but he didn't like to be alone with her for too long of a time.
he basicly said he was forcing me to take him to work. i said.. "fuck you, if you're gonna make me drive.. then im leaving and drive myself to my mom and jocelyn can stay here with you. you can take care of her and live off no sleep"
so i packed a bag and went to my car. he sent me a text saying that him n jocelyn need me and he can't live w/o me. so we talked in text for a while, and i decided to go back in because i'd die w/o my daughter.

so he took the day off and i slept 10 hours straight. he now knows that if i need him to take a day off, he'll do it. but now his mom takes him to work and my mom takes jocelyn saturday nights.. so i get more sleep.

and the way i got him to do more (not just with the baby) like laundry and cleaning up, i would just was mine and jocelyns clothes so he'd have to do his own and if he left stuff out, it'd go in the garbage so if he wanted it bad enough he'd have to pick it out and put it away. and if he left garbage, he went ontop of his laptop so he'd have to throw stuff out to use it.

now he's great. he'll just do things w/o asking and tells me to take naps whenever i look tired. he cooks for me all the time.