we are SUPPOSSED to be a team (sO vent)

Ok so , normally I was pretty satisfied with the way things were working around the house - I wake up with the baby at night since my SO is back to work , While he's at work I keep the house clean an obviously take care of the baby . He gets home , relaxes , and pretty much takes over baby care so I can clean what I couldn't earlier . I pretty much kept quiet about him not helping around the house so much cuz he would stay wit the baby an that is a huge relief for me .
But yesterday , he was home for like 2 hours by himself after he got off work (I was at my moms doing laundry) an he did nothing around the house when clearly it was messy .it jus really got to me. Long story short after tears an yelling I made him leave our house . When he got back he played his so played out role as "the im super sorry an I don't wanna fight again" act . But I told him I jus want him to help wit tha house since he lives here too an not jus wit tha baby . He sed he was guna take intiative but I can't trust that .

Now today , he's been up with the baby an I know there's things that need to be done . I don't know if I should wait for him to do it (a former chapter in my life that I gave up on) or jus do it myself. Telling him to do it is kinna not an option cuz hell get super defensive .

...I dunno .....
Thanks to whoever reads this .

Quoting AiRRR:“ Ok so , normally I was pretty satisfied with the way things were working around the house - I wake up ... [snip!] ... Telling him to do it is kinna not an option cuz hell get super defensive . ...I dunno ..... Thanks to whoever reads this .”

At least he's working and taking care of the baby when he can... That's alot more than some men do.

leave it messy for a while i mean like a few days..... i did that with the dishes after doing them for days straight and my mom finally did them! lol but if he says something then tell him (calmly) well hun you did say you were going to have initive to help out so i thought i would give you some time.... try that and if it doesnt work then tell him you can trust what he tells you!

yeah-he seems like a pretty ok guy....working and then still coming home to take care of the baby....
I wouldnt be to tough on him...sometimes guys like to just have some a alone time to just sit and do nothing...

Quoting .:Melissa:.:“ At least he's working and taking care of the baby when he can... That's alot more than some men do.”

I agree, I go through the same situation and I used to have to ask over and over again to even get my guy to watch the baby. He now spends more time taking care of baby so I can go to school, but I come home to a mess and get so mad, not understanding why he can't just pick up after himself. My mother told me it will probably always be like this and to appreciate that he is supporting me financially, and to try and just let it go rather than cause a big fuss.

Quoting 10.13.07:“ I agree, I go through the same situation and I used to have to ask over and over again to even get my ... [snip!] ... like this and to appreciate that he is supporting me financially, and to try and just let it go rather than cause a big fuss.”

Yep... You have to pick and choose your battles I guess.. I can't say I have experience raising a baby with my SO because he isn't born yet, but I know that us women can get a little nagging at times... There are a lot of men out there that want nothing to do with their children... It's a good thing that he's tryin   He's prolly tired from being at work all day...

Just say something like this. "I'm sorry I lost it on you the other day about not helping with house chores but I think we should work as a team and if you could do some chores around the house today I would really appreciate it."

Just be very calm about it. If you say it nicely he won't have any reason to be defensive.

Maybe you could ask him to claim a few chores as his own. I hate doing dishes and my husband does all our dishes and he hates cleaning the bathrooms and sweeping so I do those things.

Well I went through the same thing with mine. I think they feel like since they work you should be able to handle the home. Which I don't mine, but you they are grown men and can clean up after themselves and help out. I kind of felt like a maid, I feel for you because I have been through the same thing

Quoting AiRRR:“ Ok so , normally I was pretty satisfied with the way things were working around the house - I wake up ... [snip!] ... Telling him to do it is kinna not an option cuz hell get super defensive . ...I dunno ..... Thanks to whoever reads this .”

I feel your pain. I have a 16 month old and Im preggo again and its always the same damn fight with me and my hubby. One time he had the f*ing nerve to tell me "thats what moms do!" can you believe that? WTF? I love him dearly, but men just arent the greatest with helping out.