why you don't want to be a statistic in wikipedia

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Because of the many responses I've received from intelligent and concerned teenage mothers, I have decided to add this note to the statistics I've posted below.

I've written the following not b/c I believe all pregnant teenagers are doomed to be bad parents, but because I genuinely care about the well-being of your unborn children.

If you read through this entire thread, you will see that many young teenage women have already proved themselves completely able and willing to take on the very serious responsibility of raising a new generation of kids. The statistics I've posted below do not necessarily apply to them.

Furthermore, those young women that have begun to prepare themselves for the role of motherhood by making careful decisions for their financial, physical, and mental well-being during and after their pregnancies are to be commended. They are a model of what good can come out of an unplanned pregnancy even if you are still a teenager.

I've taken the time to post these statistics because there are still far too many teenage women who simply are not prepared to be mothers and they need to start thinking about what it means to prematurely enter the adult world as parents.

In no way do I intend to disrespect or denigrate any of you women for being pregnant. People have sex, mistakes and accidents happen, the amazing miracle of life doesn't need a whole lot more than an egg and sperm and a healthy female body to grow in.

By posting these statistics, I hope to motivate everyone one of you to know that you CAN buck these statistics and be the best damned young parents history has ever seen. With the internet and modern medicine, there are so many more easily available resources and information to help you make the right decisions for the future of you and your unborn child than any generation before you. This is your chance to do really great things as parents if you start taking the responsibility for you and your child's future now.

All the best in your pregnancies!
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I've been thinking about all the young teenage moms we have on the forum and decided to do a little research. Typing "teen pregnancy" into google and of course wikipedia (the online encyclopedia) pops up.

Here are some facts I want you teenage women to be aware of and to think about.

Wikipedia says: "Many pregnant teens are subject to nutritional deficiencies from poor eating habits common in adolescence, including attempts to lose weight through dieting, skipping meals, food faddism, snacking, and consumption of fast food."

My thought: Yes, this seems like a no-brainer to many of you but it's still important to keep it in your mind: eat right while you're pregnant, take those prenatal vitamins. This is NOT the time to diet and it is NOT the time to pig out on junk food. As your moms might tell you anyway: eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean sources of protein (e.g. fish instead of a Big Mac). And of course get loads of Folic Acid, Calcium, Protein, and Iron. Finally, go for walks, get moving, exercise will make the pregnancy go that much better.

Wikipedia says: "One-fourth of adolescent mothers will have a second child within 24 months of the first."

My thought: This is a huge and serious problem! Many of you on here like to say things like "giving birth is a beatiful thing" or "being a mother is the most amazing thing you can do."

The truth is, giving birth and being a mother can be incredibly difficult-- and especially if you are lacking money and/or emotional support. Your children will not grow up with all the opportunities and love that you could give them if you waited to have that second child until you were more financially and emotionally stable.

Please ladies, once you've given birth think about your future and your child's future and start using some form of birth control or contraception. You can't just hope you don't get pregnant again while you're still a teenager-- you have to take responsibility for your bodies and your future. There's a time for a second child-- and it's when you have the financial and emotional stability to handle it.

Wikipedia says: "The occurrence of developmental disabilities and behavioral issues is increased in children born to teen mothers. One study shows that adolescent mothers are less likely to stimulate their infant through affectionate behaviors such as touch, smiling, and verbal communication, or to be sensitive and accepting toward his or her needs."

My thought: Having a child definitely forces you to grow up and learn about compromise and sacrifice before any of your peers. For some of you this is a fairly natural transition, but for most of you, it's going to very difficult to adjust to the demand your child will place on you.

This is why there are so many reports of neglect, abuse, and negative behaviors in teenage parenting: because the mom is still just a kid who wants to go shopping, hang out with friends, and go to parties and meet boys. We won't even talk about teenage fathers here-- because so many of them just disappear into the woodwork never to be heard from again.

I believe that all of you want to be the best mothers possible when you think about that tiny life growing in you. But it's easier to dream you're going to do the right thing than it is to actually do it.

Please ladies, when you've got your baby on the outside, remember that this tiny human being is completely dependent on you for their mental and physical health. It may well be the most difficult thing you ever do, but if you take the time now to dedicate your energy and love to this child-- to be as positive and involved with your child's growth as possible, you will see them grow into amazing human beings in the future.

Wikipedia says: "Poor academic performance in the children of teenage mothers has also been noted, with many of them being more likely than average to fail to graduate from secondary school, be held back a grade level, or score lower on standardized tests. Daughters born to adolescent parents are more likely to become teen mothers themselves. A son born to a young woman in her teens is three times more likely to serve time in prison."

My thought: These are the scary numbers... the ones that make me cringe when I think of all of you, because you seem like genuinely good people who really want to do the right thing. I don't want your babies ending up in jail, or pregnant at 14-- do you? And there is obviously no doubt that being a teenage mother isn't easy-- especially if your family isn't going to support you.

My call to action for all of you pregnant teenage moms is this: you're going to give birth not only to a tiny little baby-- but a human who will grow into a man or woman, who will go to school, learn to drive a car, cost you oodles of money and many sleepless nights-- just as you've done to your parents. The crazy and frightening reality is: you're giving birth to a PERSON-- one who will become a teenager just like you one day.

If you start planning now, you can make choices that will give your child the opportunities to learn and grow into good people that make the world a better place.

Please feel free to reply with all and any thoughts you have on this posting!
All the best,
Mara

i think most of that is BULL! im 21 years old and on my 3rd baby. i havent had the best of times but my family and friends have been there and just b/c i was 16 doesnt mean i didnt and still dont love my kids! i have my own car, my own place, a job and go to school...so what makes anyone think that teen moms cant do it?? that is exactly why teen moms give up b/c no body has faith and no body wants to care enough to help and just puts them down nonstop! OH AND the academic scores is crap! 95% of the girls i kno that have had babies young graduated high and most were with honors! i damn sure did! Also had my daughter during FCATS and still passed with flying colors! WAS VERY HARD but that doesnt mean i couldnt do it! all im saying is....its not impossible to do what u wanna do being young and having kids! so how bout we praise teen moms for taking the first step in responsibility and not running and having an abortion and at least stepping up to be a good mom and be responsible!

THANK YOU!

Duvalmomma,

it's not bull-- these facts are real. you're one of the lucky ones-- b/c you did have your friends and family behind you, you had the emotional and financial support to do things right. you should be proud of yourself for facing your challenges and succeeding in spite of their difficulty. the posting is not to chastise teenage girls, but to make them think about what's coming down the line, what they're going to need to be prepared for. obviously, you did that already.

what really tears my heart out are the young girls who come on here pregnant at 14, 15, 16, etc. whose parents have kicked them out for being pregnant and won't even talk about raising the kids. their boyfrieds have abandoned them, or worse yet are abusive and/or addicted to drugs. these young mothers need help and emotional support desparately and they're not getting it from the people closest to them.

this isn't about a lack of faith either-- the facts are what they are, i just want those facts to change. i want more women like you coming on here and proving the facts wrong.

and finally, i will never believe that the best way to start a family is while you're still in the throes of adolescence, figuring out who you are and what you want out of life, as well as finishing a basic education. it's too much to ask of a teenager. it's no surprise that so many of these women who don't receive any positive support from their family and friends, fall apart when it comes to parenting on top of all the other demands they're going through.

i wasnt bein mean towards you in anyway and im sorry if it seemed like that and yes thats true about young mothers who dont have the support....but what im making a point to is the statistics only point out the mothers who have problems and talk crap about them....they dont show all the high numbersof young moms who have succeeded in life even thou they had children young! and if people spent more time helping young girls instead of putting them down and being assholes*excuse my language* about them being so young....we would have less messed up statistics and better outcomes! your right i was one ofthe lucky ones...but itwas hard....the father of my 2 girls is gone..doesnt care and only comes around when he wants me! i had some family but not all and alot didnt talk to me for a while and some still dont! but thats doesnt matter to me i did what i had to do for my kids and took responsiblilty for my actions that caused me to have kids and now im 21 and doing amazing! my point is that i dont want young moms to feel like they have to give everything up b/c they had a baby! WOW...all i see in that is WORK HARDER!! and thats what we need to teach them!!!

you both make an excellent point actually...

the world tends to focus on the negative stories that come out of teen pregnancy, but i think this is b/c it's such a critical job (being a parent), and it's horrible to hear the tales of abuse and neglect-- so the focus is there to hopefully drive change.

there are plenty of women who rise to the challenge of being a teenage parent despite the fact they're only 16 years old (or younger). i even know a few, but the one common thread that runs through all of their parenting experiences is that they'd have waited if they could have-- especially those who are now in their thirties and looking back at that time in their life. and they want their children to wait to have kids.

because it is very hard to be a parent AND a teenager.

anyway, i am sending all of my respect and admiration to all the women who accept their responsibilities as young teenage mothers, dig in, and work hard to be the best parents they can-- you are an example to all teenagers out there! (and this also applies to the young men that take responsibility-- i'm just waiting for them to show themselves... anyone?)

Abuse and neglect happens in families and with mothers that arent teens, or had a baby in their teens. Being a parent AND a teenager becomes the mothers life, yes its difficult, but like you said its difficult when you ARENT a teen!

I know who i am and i know what i want in life, My boyfriend and my family and his said pull out of school go abck next year. But i said NO! im doing my exams this year then going to college next year and then going for universtiy! im not giving up my dreams they just change. I cant say i was thrilled at the idea of having a child this early and it certainly wasnt planned! But my baby is not a mistake when the baby arrives they will be the biggest thing in my life and i will look after them. I sorted out wiht my school that i ca go in for exams and miss next term so i'm looking out for the childs future and my own, As it is known when you are a parent you need to look out for your children as well.

My boyfriend, was also shocked he is a teenager and still at college and next year is out in the real world working anyway. We both are still going to life out our dreams in life and what we want and looking after a child. It will be hard, it will be tiring. But im not being the reason my child gets a bad life or has their life ruined.
Whether or not i will be considered as an example to other teens or not. I dont care i want to be an example to my child, i want to be the mum that tried her hardest and got somewher to help them.

If a child is in a lving environment then why should we care about the age of the parents? Yes i know that teens isn't the best age but i believe that some over 18 parents are alot worse or in the same situations as teen mums.

To start off I think all of those statistics are biased. Oh, and probably almost everyone's grandmother on here was a teen mum. Either a teen mum or had her first baby at 20, 21 or 22. Did the ENTIRE generation before us preform poorly in school? That's just plain pulling things out of the air! My mother had me in her teens and I was in honours classes. My mark was always in the top five of my class all through high school. (FYI: My mum has severe mental illness so she's not allowed to legally have children.)

I was adopted by my biological mother's mother at the age of two. She fell ill when I was ten and I had to go live with other family members. When I was fifteen I was thrown out on the street and had to go to work, working over 45 hours a week in order to be able to afford a room and food. My adopted mother died when I was sixteen, she was 64 years old. I had to quit school because I was so exhausted and failing because I had to work to support myself. No one else in my family cared to help.

So people go on and say ooh teen mums are the source of most (if not all) our problems in terms of the over use of social assistance and childhood behavioral problems. Well NEWS FLASH people are having children in their forties. After I hit five my adoptive mother had no energy to play with me. She was fifty-two. Most people's health starts to go down hill in their forties and fifties. So these people will be in their sixties trying to raise teenagers... WOW that makes so much more sense! Have kids really late so they'll end up on the street when you get too old to look after them!

So the world critisizes teen mums yet the government allows people of advanced age to go through medical procedures to allow women and men of advanced age to have children. People of an age that who aren't physically able to become and sustain pregnancies the natural way. YET people have the nerve to pick on teens. Like someone said as least we're taking responsibility for our actions. Unlike all these people on thier high horses, which I'm sure at least some of them had abortions. That's what all that data is, it's pushing abortions.

It would be nice if you searched teen pregnancy and it gave you some tips. For example: You'll need five servings of dairy per day instead of four because you're still growing. Organisations such as www.freecycle.org is a great way to get free stuff you'll need for your baby. 1 800s for government programs such as the prenatal benefit plan. Maybe a chart with how much you should weight for your height based on age and months gestation. The legal responsibilities of the baby's father and any legal procedures or paper work you may need to fill out.

We don't need... "well hardy-harr-harr you're pregnant! Both you and your baby are set up to fail! HAHA. You suck. Here are the stats to prove it" How does that happen? I feel that it's more of a danger to a child to be born to old people than people that aren't quite old "enough". My question is WHY NOT LOOK DOWN ON THEM FOR BEING SELFISH instead of looking down on us for being young?

So all I can say about the post above mine is WOW! The part I like the most however is:

Quote: It would be nice if you searched teen pregnancy and it gave you some tips. For example: You'll need five servings of dairy per day instead of four because you're still growing. Organisations such as www.freecycle.org is a great way to get free stuff you'll need for your baby. 1 800s for government programs such as the prenatal benefit plan. Maybe a chart with how much you should weight for your height based on age and months gestation. The legal responsibilities of the baby's father and any legal procedures or paper work you may need to fill out.

I completely agree with this! I got pregnant with my son when I was 17. I didn't know anything about anything! I got by, but not without having to work my ass off. The nurse in the hospital was even a cow telling me that I need to be careful or child services will step in! Did she offer me information about having a newborn?! No! She threatened me with CPS simply because i was a single teenage mother! And you know if you type "Teen pregnancy" into google you don't get any support, all you get is websites about "Think before you have sex" or "National society for preventing teenage pregnancies" (which is actually the FIRST webste on the list). These girls are already pregnant there's nothing anyone can do to change that! I know that no one can change the world but, how do people expect girls not to be a statistic if they're aren't more tools to help them?!

Anyways, Mara I really apologizes that everyone seems to be coming down on you in regards to the Wikipedia post. I do fully understand what point you were trying to get across and i really appreciate the "My thought" part of it. I feel that you are giving very real advice in regards to very real situations. At least you were giving advice and not simply posting the negative aspects of it all.

Best Regards,
Ash[/quote]

i agree with ash here, there definitely needs to be more support...

i think one of the main problems with the way society handles teen pregnancy is to only think of it in terms of prevention: "how can we stop all these girls from getting pregnant?"

well, you can't... you can try. but people will have sex... and condoms will break and people will get drunk and not use protection (this happens to plenty of non-teens as well, but the teens get the burden of responsiblity b/c no one is quite ready accept that their child who's still going through high school is suddently careening into adulthood as a parent-to-be).

the longer i'm on this forum the more i realize how much we need to put together better programs for educating young pregnant women about motherhood and being a parent.

as ash pointed out, google's search terms reveal this gap between what's really needed and how the majority of society continues only to focus on "the problem" of teenage pregnancy.

yes, it's sad that your childhood gets cut short-- but focusing on the negative aspects isn't going to teach anyone how to be a better mother. and biologically speaking, your bodies are ready to give birth--we're just a society that values a prolonged adolescent childhood. i think there are women out there who find motherhood fits them like a glove even if they are only 18 years old. that's not to say that i think your girls should be running out and getting knocked up because you've got your period!

i really appreciate you women coming on here and responding with positive thoughts about what's POSSIBLE for a teenage mom. i think the common thread here that all the girls need to realize-- is that success as a teenage parent is determined by your willingness to "bust your ass" and work harder than you ever have before.

i believe it's totally do-able... although i think it is most do-able when you've got the support of your friends, family, and society at large, which is perhaps the greatest problem of all. my heart breaks a little every time a young woman comes on here with a story of being kicked out of her home by her parents, left by her boyfriend, and generally ignored by those that have the most power to help.

yes, ladies, you can do it-- you can do it better and stronger than most people are willing to believe. take the time to do the research-- check out books on pregnancy and parenting from the library. read about child development, nutrition, and education. look inside yourself and recognize that you're going to need lots of patience and perserverance and that it won't ever be easy, but being a parent will be the most potentially rewarding experience of your life.

and go and be the best damned mothers you can be!

I am a second generation teen mom. My mother fullfilled most of those statistics. She had my brother when she was 18 and me when she was 19 almost 20; there is 19 months between us. She dropped out of high school, lived off welfare, and ended up trapped in an abusive relationship. She didn't eat right or take care of her body so in result me and my brother were both a little over a month early. My father stuck around, in a sense, but only because his family threatened to disinherit him if he didn't marry my mother. He was a drunk (still is) and was very abusive. HOWEVER...
I did graduate, have never failed a grade, am in college, have a 3.75 gpa, and two immensly intelligent sons. I have never been in trouble with the law. I do have some learning diabilities but you know what? 1 out of every 7 people does. I am still with the father of my children. We are married. We are NOT on welfare. Our families were not very supportive. And you know what?
You CAN NOT classify all teen moms into one lump. True there are good and bad sides to this but your story doesn't end until you DIE. My mother has gone onto have 2 more children, divorced my father, took care of me and my brother on her own without welfar for 4 years. Remarried a wonderful man, and has everything people always said she wouldn't have.

ZachRyansMommy wrote: I am a second generation teen mom. My mother fullfilled most of those statistics. She had my brother when she was 18 and me when she was 19 almost 20; there is 19 months between us. She dropped out of high school, lived off welfare, and ended up trapped in an abusive relationship. She didn't eat right or take care of her body so in result me and my brother were both a little over a month early. My father stuck around, in a sense, but only because his family threatened to disinherit him if he didn't marry my mother. He was a drunk (still is) and was very abusive. HOWEVER...
I did graduate, have never failed a grade, am in college, have a 3.75 gpa, and two immensly intelligent sons. I have never been in trouble with the law. I do have some learning diabilities but you know what? 1 out of every 7 people does. I am still with the father of my children. We are married. We are NOT on welfare. Our families were not very supportive. And you know what?
You CAN NOT classify all teen moms into one lump. True there are good and bad sides to this but your story doesn't end until you DIE. My mother has gone onto have 2 more children, divorced my father, took care of me and my brother on her own without welfar for 4 years. Remarried a wonderful man, and has everything people always said she wouldn't have.

Here, here! 3.75   That's amazing.

Another thing I'd like to point out: Jason's cousin just had a baby. She's 27 years old. She eats McDonald's everyday and did throughtout her entire pregnancy. She was thinking about having her labour induced 2 weeks before she was due. Luckily we talked her out of it. Instead she was induced on her due date. Because of the induction there were several complications, she had to have a C-section and her baby was in the neonatal unit for a week.

Please, don't throw us the BS of only teenage mums are irresponsible.   (Directed at Google and Wikipedia)

Oh my! What a horrible thing to post. Your of course welcome to your thoughts. However, Not all teenage mothers are anything like you made them out to me. Sure some 16, 17 year olds ect. drop thier children off of there parents, live off welfare, drop out of school. ect. But so do adults!!!! I volenteer for a group that helps support young mothers. There is 13 girls in the class ages 14-18 and all of these girls are still in school or have graduated. 7 of these mothers have jobs. These young Women are wonderful mothers, they hardly ever miss a meeting. There young and full of energy the children love them dearly.
Not to mention the fact that 100 years ago almost every first time mom was still a teenager. And those women were excellent mothers maybe even better mothers then some mothers today. Sure society is more advanced and women are working ect. But if it advanced doesn't that mean the women may be smarter then they were back then. Couldn't that even possibly make them better mothers.
I myself am not a teenage mother but like a said i work with a support group for teenage mothers and if those girls put thier minds and hearts into they can be just as good if not better mothers than an "adult". Not all teenage mothers are good mothers but not all adult mothers are good mothers either. All the teens i've met with children are like I stated before. Wonderful parents, who would rather bake cookies and crawl on the floor with thier children then drink and sleep around anyday.

When I was 15 I found out I was pregnant. My mom and dad were married a month before her 18th birthday and my older brother was born 11 months later before her 19th birthday. Mom was a high school drop out but not because of marriage or babies it was because in the 70's with the school she was in didn't have honours classes she was bored. She got her GED and started college a year before she would have graduated. After my brother was born she stayed home and had me 17 month later. every step of the way my grandparents were there to help and support them emotionally when they needed it. When I had to tell my parents that I was pregnant at 15 my parents were upset. Understandably so. My dad didn't speak to me a few days but when he did he wanted to know how they could help. I went to school everyday until I went into labor-2 days before winter break. When school resumed 2 weeks later I was there too. My parents helped with everything from house to babysitting for school. My boyfiend and I had to pay for everything else. When I turned 16 a month after he was born I went out and got a job so I could help with the bills. I graduated with my class on time with a 3.8 GPA while working full time and taking college classes (for high school credit as well as college) all of my senior year. I married my son's father the summer after graduating. We have since divorced (but that was because we made the mistake of getting married for our child.) I am thankfull everyday that my parents helped me. I have a great son and have a great new husband who I have 2 girls with and is a great step father. I am a lucky person and I don't take it for granted atleast I try not to. I have friends that were not as lucky as I was/am.

If every family would just step up and help the kids they love maybe some of the statistics can change. Not just in teen pregnancy but everywhere.

Just my opinion  

I agree with both sides on here. I am 19 i will be 20 in december and i am 22 weeks pregnant. so technically i am still a teen mother but the difference for me is that im married and i was married before i got pregnant. I know everyone makes mistakes I know i did. when i was 18 I got pregnant from a one night stand, we had way too much to drink and we didnt use a condom. stupid i know, but i did get pregnant. I was balling my eyes out and i didnt know what to do. I wanted an abortion but i didnt want to kill the baby so then i thought i would keep it then i knew i couldnt afford it. I was stuck. my mom turned to me and said Heather, its not the end of the world and its certainly not the worst thing that could have happened. That to me made all the difference in the world. I decided to keep the baby and stay with the father. unfortunately i miss carried. Everything worked out for the best in the end I didnt have the baby which was probably good at the time and that babys father is now my husband. I know plenty of girls that got pregnant at a very young age but just like my mom told me its not the end of the world. everyone makes mistakes. Im not saying that your baby was a mistake but it was unplanned. deal with it. thats what i say. you cant change what you did but you can change what you do in the future. After you have this baby take the steps not to get pregnant again. at your 6 week check up after the baby is born get on birth control. I would reccomend and IUD. an inter uterine device. it is a small T shaped "implant" that your doctor can place inside you with absolutely no pain. if you have medical insurance its free. I recommend that only because its not like other birth controls that have hormones so if your breastfeeding it wont matter and it wont have any side effects like most birth controls. The IUD will last for up to 5 or 10 years depending on which one you get. The one that i recommend is the one with copper in it. i dont know the name but if you tell your doctor it has copper they will know what it is. You can take the IUD out at any time and you can get pregnant after you take it out. I think this is the most effective and worry free form of birth control. Just because you had one unplanned pregnancy doesnt mean you have to have another one.